On Topic Discussion What If Your Partner Wanted a Sex Change?

[lockeroomguy]

I'd be OK with it because now I'm married to a woman.

 

[TickTockMan]

I am pansexual so I would be fine with it.

 

[bankside]

If gender expression is so important to my partner that he would consider having surgery over it, then I know he would have to respect that his gender expression could easily be just as important to me as a contributing factor to our relationship.

On the other hand I cannot imagine how the presence or absence of a penis would actually change anything. Given that is my view, I would question why he saw it differently, and I would question the surgical risks and the cost. It is very likely I would not be supportive of both the change and the relationship going ahead.

 

[bankside]

This is troubling from a logical construct. In your partially imagined scenario, you already DO love this person and are with him/her.

If you buy into the logic that gender reassignment is a physical adjustment to a psychological truth inside, then you have already BEEN with a woman in your relationship. That man that you know is already a woman in his inner being.

Otherwise, a gender reassignment is just playing with body parts, and the change in gender pronouns becomes entirely specious.

I think the troubling logical construct is the idea that gender reassignment is a physical adjustment to a psychological truth inside. Either the relationship is based on a psychological falsehood dictated by the "wrong" body, or the psychological truth inside was already adequately conveyed and represented by the original body, thus undermining the need for any surgery.

 

[Ryuukie]

I will always love my partner and will never leave him.

 

[pat grimshaw]

^ him? or her?

 

[Adrusek81]

I think the troubling logical construct is the idea that gender reassignment is a physical adjustment to a psychological truth inside. Either the relationship is based on a psychological falsehood dictated by the "wrong" body, or the psychological truth inside was already adequately conveyed and represented by the original body, thus undermining the need for any surgery.

Sorry to say this, but isn't your explanation a bit simplistic? Gender identity is very much a solipsistic experience, inasmuch as we can define ourselves based on what we live and experience externally, but can only truly be what we feel inside. Many people are forced to present a specific image in public in order to avoid marginalization and aggression, thus creating the need for a façade that allows them to operate beyond the limits of their own self-perception. If we were going to follow your line of thinking, all relationships are rules by psychological falsehood, because what we externalize isn't necessarily what we truly are.

However, sometimes what people truly are can only be fulfilled by managing to adjust it to the external environment, so as to be able to operate in a more effective manner. That's when the need for surgery arises: when a person's identity cannot be fully assumed until it can be aligned to its projected image. However, I think that you are offering a valid point - if a person belonged to the opposite gender all along, was the relationship an illusion deliberately constructed to suit a false image, or if it was genuine, what exactly what true about it?

I think that most people would find it very difficult to adjust to such extreme changes (I know that I would), but ultimately, love would enable them to at least offer support during the sex-reassignment process. Beyond that, whether the relationship could continue or not in the same terms, is a matter of personal choice.

 

[HunterM]

I will support him to become whom he is meant to be...happy: gender reassignment, breast implants, butt implants, nose job, chin implant, face lift, etc.

Or I could date Cher.

 

[G-Lexington]

I'd be very supportive, and encourage her to get the change. I'm assuming our sex lives would change, and perhaps our relationship would open, but I'd definitely stick with her if she'd have me.

Lex

 

[The Fly]

If you were in a "long term committed relationship" with someone, this announcement probably wouldn't come as a shock. That being said...I guess I'm something of a troglodyte because I'd be heading for the door. If you wanna' get your weiner whacked off, best of luck, but we wouldn't be doing the mattress mambo any more.
I believe I'd be generally supportive of their decision going forward, but also a bit resentful. I've met a few trans people, all M2F, and have 1 genuine friend who's trans, this is a huge impact on the lives, not only of the person going thru the reassignment, but also their families. As much as people say they would be fine with it....don't bet on it. Very few relationships survive this sort of upheaval.

 

[kindabikindagay]

I'd love them no matter what.. I'd be willing to accept them but I HIGHLY doubt my very religious family would xD.. but yeah.. I wouldn't mind

 

[sixthson]

When you love someone, you love them body, soul and spirit and that includes emotionally, psychologically, intellectually and spiritually. While it is not all about the penis, you cannot deny the physical attraction you have for this person you love.
As a gay man, I am attracted to all that is male about my partner and that includes how he thinks and how he expresses his emotions as a male. When you start altering any part of the man you fell in love with, there is likely a risk that cannot be anticipated. How can this person go through such an extreme change and not have it change you? While some might be able to deal with it, there should be no condemnation for those who cannot. We are talking about romantic love, afterall, not just superficial attraction.
While you will likely never stop loving this person, you might very well change the kind of love you have.

 

[HunterM]

As a gay man, I am attracted to all that is male about my partner and that includes how he thinks and how he expresses his emotions as a male. When you start altering any part of the man you fell in love with, there is likely a risk that cannot be anticipated. How can this person go through such an extreme change and not have it change you? While some might be able to deal with it, there should be no condemnation for those who cannot. We are talking about romantic love, afterall, not just superficial attraction.
While you will likely never stop loving this person, you might very well change the kind of love you have.

^ Well stated! Remember, gender reassignment procedure is a year or longer process. Candidates have to take drugs -- (way before the surgery). The year long continuous adding of female hormones (from male to female) to one's body WILL DEFINITELY alter his "original" emotional state. The person you fell in love with will not be the same person after the surgery.

 

[CowboyBob]

Depends on what sex they would want to change to.

 

[altlover85]

I would support my boyfriend through his transition. I don't know that I could be with him though, afterwards. I would hope we would still remain friends if the relationship ended.

 

[LilBit]

I would do my best to be supportive, and I would hope that we could be open about any challenges that the transition causes for our relationship.

 

[palbert]

I think gender reassignment creates a different person if proper psychological conditioning occurs.

Couldn't do it.

Also, don't think this issue would just arise "one day." There would be many signs heralding it. After living through the "role play" that precedes surgery I think I would be at wits end.

 

[sixthson]

I think gender reassignment creates a different person if proper psychological conditioning occurs.

Couldn't do it.

Also, don't think this issue would just arise "one day." There would be many signs heralding it. After living through the "role play" that precedes surgery I think I would be at wits end.

I remember once watching a documentary about a man who wanted to become a female while he was married with children. His wife said she was shocked. I find that so hard to believe. Maybe she just wasn't paying attention?

 

[HunterM]

I remember once watching a documentary about a man who wanted to become a female while he was married with children. His wife said she was shocked. I find that so hard to believe. Maybe she just wasn't paying attention?

The wife was shocked, "Why would anyone want to have PMS symptoms on a monthly basis: mood swing, easily distracted, joint hurt & breast hurt?"

 

[jensu846]

I would say see ya later... honesty is a bitch, but I could never be with a woman, even if she was a man first.