What People Should Know About Bisexuals Is...

[blackbeltninja]

oops

^^Haha I wondered about that!

-d-

 

[RRRalph]

On my case, given my previous experiences on the matter, won' t even consider dating a bi guy.

I agree with blackbeltninja comments and I'm glad many think diffirently: 70% would date a bi guy, which should be much higher in my opinion.

 

[HazieDays]

Thanks for putting up this thread RRRalph, it's great and I am totally with you on what you've said.

 

[949-4-Fun]

Only with girls. That works best for me. The sex is great and when i'm in a relationship with a girl i don't long for sex with a man.

So glad to know I'm not the only one~

 

[Soilwork]

I don't take back a word I've said on the subject.

I wont' ever date another bisexual man because I honestly believe that no matter how much he wants it to be different, he'll eventually decide he wants to be straight out in public and gay in private.

I can't ever trust a guy enough if he says his sexuality is "fluid", because that means at some point through no fault of his own, he'll no longer be attracted to men.

And being a man, that's a problem for me.



(I won't put forth the stereotypes that bi men are always going on and one trying to remind you that they're "part straight", or that they're more manly and can "pass for straight" because I'd like to think that even a bisexual man would be turned off by that self-hating bullshit. I also wont' entertain you with stories like the guy, who said to me "I'm just pretending you're a girl" when I was blowing him.)

 

[Soilwork]

Oh wait... I DO take back something I said.

I used to say that bisexual men don't exist and they're just gay cowards.

I believe in bisexual men now, and admit I was wrong about that.

I'm sure you're all cool guys and would hang out with most of you.

I just won't date you or shag you. I'm sure you're crushed.

 

[VICTORIADON]

I am quite annoyed after reading posts about all kind of prejudice about bisexuals. I wanna get rid of them all. Finish this sentence:

What people should know about bisexuals is...

For those who are curious straight guys and are fed up with wrong images about what you are, what you want and what you do:

What people should know about curious straight guys is...

I am quite annoyed that someone, anyone, would hijack a post of mine from another thread, place it in a new thread and not notifiy me about it so I could defend myself.
Nothing personal, but is this "sneaking around behind someones back" and hoping not to be caught?

 

[Soilwork]

Nothing personal, but is this "sneaking around behind someones back" and hoping not to be caught?

Isn't "Sneaking around behind someone's back and hopeing not to be caught" the description of the average biseuxal's sex life?























Sorry.. couldn't resisit.

Look.. I've got a couple bisexual friends who both agree that although they have sex and date men now, they'll eventually end up with women. I won't wade into that pool, and sorry if that hurts your sensibilities.

 

[yuty]

I have always stood for bisexual men on this site since there's a gross prejudice against them:

However the REAL root of the problem is that many gay men perceive that a relationship with a bisexual man is ultimately temporary.

Bisexuals like homosexuals and heterosexuals don't have a choice over their sexual attractions...however they have distinct ability to hone their attractions to a specific gender. For example, a bisexual man may decide he wants to stop dating women and decides to date men for a time. He'll still have sexual attractions to women of course, but he won't act on them and will focus on his sexual attractions to men.

Which leads us to the root of the problem: Most if not all gay men believe that bisexual men will ultimately with in their lifetime end up with a woman rather than a man.

After all it's the easier path. Ours is a dirt road that has a few signs here and there. The heterosexual road is a yellow brick road with streetlights, tour guides and portable G.P.S. given to travelers free of charge. Bisexuals can choose which romantic "lifestyle" to live with and will be happy with it. Unlike gay men.

You either have the choice of a wife with a white-picket fenced house in the surburbs with three kids and a dog....or a boyfriend living together in apartment or house. You either have the choice of a child of your own and grandchildren in the future...or the choice of a adopting a Ethiopian baby that doesn't remotely look like you (good luck jumping through the legal hurdles) or going through complicated shit with babies in a testtube. You have a choice between normalcy or minority.

Being gay is hard. Being straight is easy.

Which is why I do believe that many bisexuals will ultimately in the end try to find a woman they are sexually attracted and love in order to have normalcy. Gay men also have the choice of marrying a woman...they just won't be happy with that choice. Bisexual men will because they're emotionally and sexually attracted to women as well as men.

It's fear. Nothing more. Fear of intimacy with something perceived to be temporary.

I'll willingly date a bisexual man if I like him and find him interesting. Just like any other gay man. However for the safety of my emotions and my self-esteem, I wouldn't take our relationship seriously.

Because I know in the back of their minds they'll be saying this: "I hate everyone staring at us when I hold my boyfriend's hand. If I had a girlfriend this wouldn't be a problem....."

And so the seed is planted....

 

[Center]

First off thanks for the reply, I thought your post was very well thought out and well said. My only retort is with the above statement. When a gay male, such as myself, has sexual feelings towards another man while in a committed relationship is no different then a straight guy lusting after another women. The right thing to do is let it pass and honor the commitment that has been made. Bi-sexual men or women can do this very same thing. Most of us would go home and fuck our bf/gf and get that "horniness" out of our system. We all see people everyday of our lives that we think are attractive. Just cause we're in a relationship doesn't mean our minds don't wonder. Its kinda human nature?!!! My issue and I use that term loosely, is if your a bi-sexual male or female. When your in a relationship with another person and that yearning, horniness, NEED for the opposite of what your with hits you, it becomes a issue. You have been able to ignore, or not act apon these feelings for 10 years I think you said and I commend you on that. I find this to be rare and NOT the norm for bi-sexual people, that I know! I'm not saying this is the majority of ALL bi-sexual men and women, just in MY personal life experience's. Its a little more difficult to be a man in a relationship with a women and crave dick and not act upon it. It takes a SERIOUS amount of will power and respect for that person not to cheat with the opposite sex. I know your going to go back and say it is no different then a gay couple having sex with another man or a straight man having sex with another women. I believe it to be MUCH different because its a different type of sex your body wants that can't be quenched with whats waiting at home in your bed!!!

sorrry to be so long winded. ONce again, I mean NO disrespect and hope I haven't offended anybody here. Love ya guys...

Once again I will state that I can only state what I feel. I am no spokesman. For me it doesn’t work like that. What I need is sexual satisfaction and intimacy more than anything. I don’t wake up certain mornings and say to myself, “Gee sucking some cock sounds good right about now.” It isn’t like I get urges to suck cock as opposed to eating pussy. Rather, I get urges to be with people other than my wife. Gender isn’t the determining factor. Sometimes it is men. Most of the time it is women. Yes, just as you described one of the ways I deal with it is to fuck my wife senseless to get it out of my system. I don’t generally get gender specific urges. I get urges for people, not genders. Does that help explain it any? It isn’t easy to articulate one’s instinctual desires.

BTW you certainly haven’t offended me. You didn’t understand something and asked a simple question without a hint of the usual scorn I see being directed towards bisexuals. Seeking mutual understanding is a means towards achieving mutual respect.

 

[TaigaStar]

I think the biggest prejudice I've seen pertaining to bisexuals is that they're incapable of committing, especially to a same-sex relationship. I also get the vibe from all the anti-bi comments that bisexuals are just whores. However, who's right to judge bisexuals as being worse off than anybody else? Admittedly, I read a lot of stuff here at JUB and some of it aggravates me. I feel that regardless of orientation and/or sex, a committed relationship is a sacred thing and sneaking around for sex outside of that relationship violates the integrity of it. To say that every singe bisexual does this is not only incorrect, but it's completely ignorant! Aren't the same things being said by some gay folks the same stereotypes that were being said about them not ten years ago?

At the risk of starting a war, shouldn't a community seeking acceptance from a "majority" (for lack of a better term) also be willing to extend that same courtesy to others? If not, isn't it hypocritical to expect equality while casting their worn-out stereotypes onto other people? Bisexuals aren't the only ones that "can't stay faithful" in a relationship. I'm sorry to say that there are straight women in the world who can't even tell which man is the father of their children. There are straight men who ditch their girlfriends/wives to get laid with another woman just because it's "getting boring at home." There are gay men who do the same thing on their boyfriends. At what point is this idea relegated to any single group?

 

[yuty]

I agree the stereotype of bisexuals being whores is just plain stupid.

However my only jiff is the issue of ultimately choosing a woman over a man when it's time to settle down.

 

[TaigaStar]

I agree the stereotype of bisexuals being whores is just plain stupid.

However my only jiff is the issue of ultimately choosing a woman over a man when it's time to settle down.

While I'll agree I've heard about settling down with a woman quite a bit, there's also a post somewhere about a bi guy proposing to his boyfriend.

 

[yuty]

Ay. Those are a rare breed.

 

[probable]

You either have the choice of a wife with a white-picket fenced house in the surburbs with three kids and a dog....or a boyfriend living together in apartment or house. You either have the choice of a child of your own and grandchildren in the future...or the choice of a adopting a Ethiopian baby that doesn't remotely look like you (good luck jumping through the legal hurdles) or going through complicated shit with babies in a testtube. You have a choice between normalcy or minority.

You took the words right out of my mouth. The only thing that I would add (and this is just for me) that even if the man did decide that I could be his one and only forever, I'd feel bad for depiving him of the normalcy I know he could get elsewhere...

 

[RRRalph]

Shouldn't a community (gay community) seeking acceptance from a "majority" also be willing to extend that same courtesy to others? If not, isn't it hypocritical to expect equality while casting their worn-out stereotypes onto other people?

Fair questions! I'd always expected that most gays would understand us, but for some reason most don't. That's what i don't understand.

 

[blackbeltninja]

I can't ever trust a guy enough if he says his sexuality is "fluid", because that means at some point through no fault of his own, he'll no longer be attracted to men.

And being a man, that's a problem for me.

For us too. We're all in the same boat when a guy doesn't want us anymore.

I won't put forth the stereotypes that bi men are always going on and one trying to remind you that they're "part straight", or that they're more manly and can "pass for straight" because I'd like to think that even a bisexual man would be turned off by that self-hating bullshit.

I certainly would.

-d-

 

[Soilwork]

By the way, RRRalph, if you want every gay man to just happily open up their beds to you, maybe you could stop being so homophobic.

Your anti-pride rant and attacks on anyone who doesn't fit your definition of acceptable public behavior are kinda strange coming from someone who doesn't understand why all gay men won't just accept you at face value without judgements.

I mean, you want pride day banned so we're not able to show our faces if we want to or not, yet you seem to think we should be all happy to invite you to our secret meetings where we don't raise our voices?

 

[RRRalph]

RRRalph, if you want every gay man to just happily open up their beds to you, maybe you could stop being so homophobic.

First of all, i'm not homophobic. Secondly, i don't want every gay man invites me to their bed.

Your anti-pride rant and attacks on anyone who doesn't fit your definition of acceptable public behavior are kinda strange coming from someone who doesn't understand why all gay men won't just accept you at face value without judgements.

Gay pride day is gay party without any deeper thought of acceptance or representation, according to many. I thought it was, guess i was wrong. I just resent when straight people goes there to see those weird gays and think many gays are like that, cuz i know it's not true and it's too stereotypical. I want everyone to accept everyone else without judgement. Some gays can be so prejudiced towards bisexuals, knowing they experienced the same by straights. I don't understand that.

 

[Soilwork]

So... gay people shoudln't party unless you approve of the way they party?

You say you want everyone to accept everyone else without judgement, but you then judge people who party on pride day.

So which is it?

Just so I know how to keep score here.