What proportion of all gays are closeted?

[Tadaa]

It's more than half.

 

[SirJude]

More than half may seem high for those lucky enough to live in a major city in US or Canada but look what is happening in the mid-east and Africa - only a fool would step out of the closet when the hangman stands on the corner.

 

[Daximus]

I feel bad I voted 'about half' till I read all the responses. I wanna change my vote.

P.S. I'm out and proud.

 

[Gamby6]

How do you categorized those guys who feel that their sexual orientation is no one business, not even their families, but theirs?

 

[Lube]

I wouldn't say I "believe" them so much as I accept it. I have a couple casual friends who I think might be gay, but who say they're straight. Either they ARE straight, or they're too worried about their sexuality to admit their feelings. If it's the latter, I don't think needling them, or trying to yank them out of the closet, is going to accomplish anything. Better to keep being a good friend, and keep showing them that being gay and out is no big deal. Being a positive example, if you will. If they are gay, my feeling is they'll eventually open up to me. It's happened before.

Interesting distinction in your first sentence.

So you think being gay is a choice?

Perhaps there's a better way to phrase that. I was trying to distinguish gay from bisexual. Bisexuals often say that sometimes they like a man and sometimes a woman--depends on the person. I was just trying to say I'm asking about people who don't make that "choice". Is there a better way to say it?

This question is unanswerable.

Why?

However, I do and did not force the subject of their pronounced heterosexuality.

Neither do I. I've never outed anyone.

 

[Lube]

I think around 99.5 percent are closeted around the world.

Most asians and middle easterners are closeted until they die. Mostly it's the westerners who have the freedom to be out.

More than half may seem high for those lucky enough to live in a major city in US or Canada but look what is happening in the mid-east and Africa - only a fool would step out of the closet when the hangman stands on the corner.

Yes. As much a proponent of coming out as I am, I've never suggested coming out if it endangers your life.

Many closeted Americans, for example, have this unrealistic of being gay and out as having some huge risk. It doesn't; not like it used to, anyway. Not in (most places in) America.

 

[Lube]

And as for what I do in my bedroom, that goes both ways. I wouldn't want to know what a majority of my straight counterparts do behind closed doors.

Exactly.

Being gay is much more than what you do in the bedroom. Being gay is being human: going on dates, dealing with family, dealing with pets, etc.

To hide all you & your partner's activities under the guise of "they don't need to know what I do in the bedroom" is a straw man argument. Saying you went to the movie with your boyfriend is miles away from saying that you bottom and can only cum when he's fucking your hole.

Big difference.

Don't confuse the two.

 

[hotatlboi]

By in-the-closet or in-denial, I mean include guys who would have any form of gay sex (including oral) if society/religion/culture were more accepting. So included closeted guys, guys who won't admit to themselves that they're gay, guys who are married and fooling around on the side--all of that.

I'm not sure that's an appropriate definition of "gay" though. I think you can be a straight guy who maybe likes to get head from a guy or something, but wouldn't be attracted to a guy otherwise, wouldn't want to kiss them or have a relationship with a guy or anything else like that.

 

[MyReply]

Why?

Because there's no way to measure how many gays are, or could be, closeted.
This is all just subjective guestimating; totally grasping at straws.

 

[Lube]

I'm not sure that's an appropriate definition of "gay" though. I think you can be a straight guy who maybe likes to get head from a guy or something, but wouldn't be attracted to a guy otherwise, wouldn't want to kiss them or have a relationship with a guy or anything else like that.

Turn it around. How many gay guys do think want to get head from a woman?

If he does, I wouldn't call him gay, just as I wouldn't call a guy straight if he liked getting head from a guy. Sorry.

 

[Lube]

Because there's no way to measure how many guys are, or could be, closeted.
This is all just subjective guestimating; totally grasping at straws.

Of course. It's totally non-scientific.

People have opinions. I'm just trying to find out what they are.

 

[hotatlboi]

Turn it around. How many gay guys do think want to get head from a woman?

If he does, I wouldn't call him gay, just as I wouldn't call a guy straight if he liked getting head from a guy. Sorry.

I wouldn't mind getting head from a woman if she was hot and I was horny lol.

I don't have any desire to sleep with women or have a relationship with one, and I definitely consider myself gay. I have never kissed a woman or had any other sexual interest in one.

 

[Lube]

^So, I'm guessing the chance of you asking one for a bj is probably close to zero.

 

[evanrick]

well seeing how "in the closet" is a societal need to categorize people, i dont agree that people are "in" our "out". do strait people "come out of the closet"

maybe we should stop assuming peoples preferences.

 

[Lube]

well seeing how "in the closet" is a societal need to categorize people, i dont agree that people are "in" our "out". do strait people "come out of the closet"

maybe we should stop assuming peoples preferences.

Straight people come out of the closet every time they mention their girlfriend or wife.

They come out many times a day.

As an out gay man, so do I.


Check out the Being Out Is... thread in the Coming Out forum.