What the fuck?

[GoodbyeSobriety]

This sounds like some erotic story, however I do have a serious question... probably Google-able but whatever, I want to get it off my chest.

Ok, so to cut to the chase, I'm a pretty busy guy between my artwork and lame part-time job. I'm 25 yrs old, 6' and I consider myself good looking and personable. It's been about 3 years since I have messed around with someone, until a few hours ago tonight.

Although I do have my eye set on a dude at work, I was getting too horny and decided to look on craigslist for something else. I found an ad labeled "Trick or Treat" and it was just this guy looking to get another person off. I played the e-mail off as some straight guy, saying "I'm nervous, not sure I can reciprocate, etc.," and eventually he gave me his address.

I rode over there an hour later around 1:00am and found his place and parked in his driveway. I waited for about 5 minutes because there were several houses, honked a few times, nothing. I looked on my phone, read my e-mail, and saw that it said "small white house," so I took a chance and knocked on that door.

To my surprise, the dude was pretty good looking for being 50. I mean he was actually pretty cut and had a nice face. Blah blah anyways, we go in and chit chat for a bit, and after an awkward silence he asks to see the goods. I pull it out and he jerks me off for a bit. It wasn't long before we were 69ing in his bedroom.

Here's the issue: After that 69, I could not, for the fucking life of me, get hard again. He was blowing me and sucking me dry, even moaning and really getting into it, and still I was Gumbi.

After a few more minutes of blowage I just told him I couldn't get hard, apologized and left embarrassed and disappointed.

So what da fuck is the deal guys? The only thing I can think of is I have smoked a lot of cigarettes within the past few days on my work breaks. Has this happened to you? Is this a frequent/infrequent thing? Or am I going to have to start poppin' Viagra??



Ugh. Fail at life.

 

[RationalLunacy]

Should I post a WTF Kitteh or a Fail?

 

[Eagle653]

Hi GBS, I've moved your thread to the Coming Out & Relationship forum. There are lot of bright guys who frequent this forum, and I hope you get some good perspectives!

 

[GoodbyeSobriety]

Thanks all, this makes me feel a little better about the situation.

 

[ephram314]

I would have probably been limp too. I just don't get off on random encounters. I get nervous enough the first time with a boyfriend that I know decently well. My bet is it was just nerves, maybe combined with being with an older guy (that wouldn't do it for me).

Find a cute, nice boyfriend around your age that you can actually get to know, and I bet you'll have no problems.

 

[GoodbyeSobriety]

I would have probably been limp too. I just don't get off on random encounters. I get nervous enough the first time with a boyfriend that I know decently well. My bet is it was just nerves, maybe combined with being with an older guy (that wouldn't do it for me).

Yea I understand how these elements can be a turn off, but the thing is I was really hard when we started. It was like the longer we kept at it, the softer I got. I dunno, I'm not a casual-sex person, so I thought I would be really into this dirty situation.

 

[Horschallen]

Maybe you went there with high expectations and then while it is all happening, you find it not meeting your expectations as well as you'd like, you lose it?

 

[GoodbyeSobriety]

Maybe you went there with high expectations and then while it is all happening, you find it not meeting your expectations as well as you'd like, you lose it?

Nah, I expected some ugly overweight guy. He was to my surprise, good looking despite his age. I would not have entered the door if I wasn't somewhat initially attracted to him.

I dunno, I'll take this as a learning experience I guess.

 

[GoodbyeSobriety]

Ok all I have to say it it happened again, and with a hotter guy in a hotter situation. I seriously think I have some psychological problem with this.

I'm going to try to cut down on the porn and start working out again.

 

[Fishstix]

Usually on those sites, they ask for a picture so you don't waste time driving all the way there and driving all the way back if you're not interested. It'll also hurt less to the other person if you reject them online instead of in person.

Maybe the guys you meet are just not good at sucking dick. Or maybe you masturbate too much. I'm always less horny when I masturbate too much. Try not masturbating or getting off in a week and the next time you do it, you'll go wild.

 

[KaraBulut]

You've gotten into a situation that a lot of guys find themselves in when they haven't dated in a while. Call it the "nobody does it better" syndrome.

When you've gotten used to masturbation and not having to focus on another person being there, it sometimes takes a while to get back into being able to have sex with another person.

One thing that you need to give some thought to is whether these hookup situations might be causing more harm they good. If you're having performance issues when you do these hookup encounters, you may be causing yourself more anxiety

Maybe it's time to give some thought to dating?

 

[GoodbyeSobriety]

88Nutz - I think you are right about the masturbation... I need to cut down on the porn. This guy gave great EVERYTHING, it wasn't him at all. Things I've fantasized about for my life came true last night with this guy- kissed a guy for the first time, got rimmed/rimmed... everything was really hot...

KaraBulut - It has been a long time, years in fact, since I've hooked up with anybody previous to this thread. I honestly don't think this is causing more anxiety... for me I feel like I'm conditioning myself, so hopefully next time I will feel more relaxed and casual.


Also this wasn't mentioned, but I was completely hard until he attempted to fuck me. I had to stop because it was too uncomfortable for me, and from then on I lost my hardness, however I was still turned on by everything. The difference between this guy and my initial post is that I was really hot for this guy.

So yea, cutting down on masturbation/porn.

Below are his body pics, I thought I'd share with you his hotness. God damn I hope we get together again...

 

[Luka]

ok well I know you dont like my staight forwardness from another thread but here it goes:

1. stop smoking please you are killing yourself and there are many other ways to calm your stress....try yoga or meditation

2. Why are you meeting up with old men? Ok I agree nice body, but you I'm sure could find someone your age, is that you in ur avatar? if so you can probly get almost any guy you want

3. Sometimes when I'm around other guys I can't stay hard, but I think it has to do with me not exercising, cause when I was more active it wasnt a problem.

4. Whenever someone touches my hole I go soft, so maybe that might be what happens to you? I cant get hard after im fucked either.

Hope this Helps and that u dont mind the straight forwardness of my answers.

 

[elvnguardian]

Okay, so, I'm perpetually stuck in the phase where everything from hotties to flooring gets me hard and horny.

I get hard all the time and usually at the most in appropriate times.

That being said, there was this one person I dated (unsuccessfully) that was interesting, we had great conversations and everything about the relationship should have been fine, but even though he wasn't really unattractive, I didn't find him all that sexually attractive. Every time I/we tried to have "relations" I couldn't get hard enough to facilitate penetration.

I've since learned, you can't make your body do anything it doesn't want to do, and that includes fucking in a situation it doesn't want to.


***

You will know forget every thing I've just said.

 

[GoodbyeSobriety]

ok well I know you dont like my staight forwardness from another thread but here it goes...

Being straight forward is fine, it's my choice whether I want to listen to your words or not.

For the most part I agree with you.

 

[youngnihilist]

Try someone in their 20s? that guy has a nice body but it clearly belongs to someone in their 30s or 40s nonetheless - maybe that's not turning you on.

 

[Horschallen]

Or don't even discuss age... take the men at their face value if they are good looking... otherwise, do dig deep for inner beauty.

 

[yeahman21]

^Says the 51 year old. lol

 

[GoodbyeSobriety]

youngnihilist - Sure that guy (35) is older than I am, but age doesn't matter as much as personality does for me. Both these guys I've recently been with turned me on... ESPECIALLY this last one. It wasn't them, trust me.

 

[texan_slant]

Seriously, I wouldn't over-think it. It def happens to the best of us at times.