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When is it too late to never have been in a relationship?

nafhoosier

nafhoosier

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So I'm a bit frustrated right now.

For some reason it hit me today: I'm 23 and never have been in love, nor been in a relationship.... period.

Many of my friends are in one (well, straight relationships) and the few gay friends I have also either are in one or have had multiple ones.

On one hand I'm a bit jealous as the positives of being in a relationship might outweigh the negatives.... but on the other hand I'm very afraid because it's territory I've never explored before and can't even imagine someone being in love with me. I just don't see myself as worthy of being loved like that.

I feel like I'm a bit embarrassed by admitting this. Should I be?
 
I first got laid at 25.
First relationship at 26.
I'd like to think I turned out OK.

And I'd like to think we're all capable of love and being loved.

Lex
 
[STRIKE]Can't wait to see what NaughtyArousal has to say about this.
[/STRIKE]


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Jason™ said:
being single at 23 is better than being used and abused
Click to expand...


Uh oh


34xncrk.gif
 
There exist people who would prefer to be alone.
There exist people who are unpleasant enough on the inside that it's best they stay alone...and they' very often are alone for long periods of time.
These people tend to be different and distinct groups from those who don't think they're good enough to be loved.

Lex
 
DigitalFudge said:
[STRIKE]Can't wait to see what NaughtyArousal has to say about this.
[/STRIKE]
Click to expand...

Personally, I can't wait to see birddog7 put a fresh spin on the topic. :lol:

In all seriousness, being single doesn't necessarily mean you're unlovable or defective, it just means you're not in a relationship. Try not to compare yourself to where others are in their lives, but rather reflect upon what you want out of life, and how you can go about achieving it.

Ask yourself why you feel as if you don't deserve to be loved. Is it just because it simply hasn't happened yet, or are there other facets of yourself or your personality that you feel are in need of improvement? If so, ask yourself what they are, and what steps you can take to start working on them as opposed to dwelling in negativity and subsequently losing hope.

I agree with Lex, in that I believe everybody has the capacity to both love and be loved, and I think it's just a matter of allowing ourselves to be exposed to the feelings of intense vulnerability that accompany opening ourselves up to such a degree. That can be a very scary thing for many if not most of us, as it involves complete openness, honesty, and trust.

Do not feel embarrassed or ashamed of having not yet been a part of a relationship, and similarly, do not feel as if it is an accurate representation of your self-worth, or that it is somehow indicative of your future prospects -- but instead use this period of self-reflection as motivation to look within and adjust your own sense of self, and perhaps avoid the direction you fear your life may take if it continues unchanged.
 
don't feel bad. i'm 25 years old and never been in a relationship, been in love, still a virgin, never kissed anybody etc. you know, chances are you'll probably get laid or get into a relationship before me though. that's what usually happens. shit is fucked up.

i most definitely hear you on being envious, jealous and etc of other people that have been there. it kind of makes you feel like nobody wants you, something is wrong with you where you're wondering why the hell are you still single or haven't fucked at your age and makes you regret on some of the people that you rejected or passed up on that liked you a lot even though you didn't feel the same way about them. horrible feeling. then when you tell your friends or whoever about your feelings, they want to school you on what you should do and etc just like the 40 year old virgin movie only making matters worse. :( even though it's hard to not get upset or pissed about it, trying not to dwell on it too much eases the pain. masturbation helps.
 
nafhoosier said:
I'm 23 and never have been in love, nor been in a relationship.... period.
Click to expand...
I could say the exact same thing...except for changing the age to 39
nafhoosier said:
I feel like I'm a bit embarrassed by admitting this. Should I be?
Click to expand...
I have wondered that myself .. I don't know - maybe so? maybe not?
G-Lexington said:
There exist people who are unpleasant enough on the inside that it's best they stay alone...and they' very often are alone for long periods of time.
Click to expand...
I probably shouldn't admit it, but oh well...I would qualify for at least parts of that.
 
G-Lexington said:
There exist people who would prefer to be alone.
There exist people who are unpleasant enough on the inside that it's best they stay alone...and they' very often are alone for long periods of time.
These people tend to be different and distinct groups from those who don't think they're good enough to be loved.
Lex
Click to expand...

:( the underlined most definitely applies to me. then again, i've seen people who are as messed up as i am and even worse, able to find somebody that has been willing to put up with who they were and they appeared to be in a healthy and loving relationship. so that makes me wonder even more if it's just me, who i am, my looks, or something else. then again, everybody is different and just thinking about how some people were able to get theirs before me and them actually getting things handed to them, stumbling into ass and the whole nine while not even having any money, jobs, or whatever just makes me even more frustrated and angry cause i'm like wtf are they doing that i'm not doing that them where they're at. just doesn't make sense to me. let me just fall back from thinking about it cause it just makes my head hurt.
 
72-Jay said:
I probably shouldn't admit it, but oh well...I would qualify for at least parts of that.
Click to expand...

I dunno. Maybe there are hidden fires there, but you just strike me as someone who has sort of created a world of "alone-ness". And although you might sometimes wish to be more outgoing, or to be in a relationship, you're not...dissatisfied enough to really make the changes necessary.

refujiunderground said:
:( the underlined most definitely applies to me. then again, i've seen people who are as messed up as i am and even worse, able to find somebody that has been willing to put up with who they were and they appeared to be in a healthy and loving relationship..
Click to expand...

It's not really something that's quantifiable. I don't know if one could really accurately which of two people is "more messed up inside". But the internal ugliness is actually the one that we all can work on improving. I think we can become better people inside if we want to be. It's those who are very unpleasant inside, and make no effort to alter that, who are most likely to remain alone. And just from the posts I've read, it doesn't sound like you belong in that category.

Lex
 
nafhoosier's avatar : I always see the old woman before the young one, does it prove that I'm gay ? :)

topic : I'm 43 and never have been in a relationship. You see, you have time before being too worried :) If you want a relationship, put your mind to it, open your eyes and your heart :)
 
Snap out of it! :lol:
snap-out-of-it-o.gif


Seriously, snap out of it. It is never too late to have a relationship. There are people who live alone happily, and they never felt like they are living a lonely life. A better question to ask yourself is: "Are you living a fulfilled life independently?"

Most people are attracted to men with confidence, a positive attitude, and full of life. Nobody wants to be around a Debbie Downer. If you don't have love for yourself, how can you give your love away to someone else? If you don't have money, how can you donate money to charity? If you don't have time, how can you volunteer your time to a local nonprofit organization?
  1. Work on your confidence by achieving personal goals. Know what you are good at. Know what you want. Know how to get it. Know where you're heading in life. Focus on what you CAN do to make things work...as opposed to what you can't do.
  2. Work on your positive attitude toward yourself. Find humor in most situations. Learn to laugh at yourself. Improve areas of your life that you're not happy with. Surround yourself with people who are encouraging.
  3. Live an active life. Don't get stuck in a rut. Learn new hobbies. Meet new people. Travel to places you haven't been before. These can be stories of you life to share among friends and family. The more you do, the more stories you get to tell.

Work on yourself first. Start your plan of actions today if you want to see a change! When you're able to project confidence, people will come toward you...|

Lastly, that would be $200 for this session of therapy. I take cash, credit cards, or a blow job.
 
relationships happen or they don't, you shouldn't feel you need to have a relationship in order to be happy. Just be yourself and if there is a guy out there meant for you, it'll happen!
 
When is it too late?

When you are dead.
 
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