Why are gay guys so promiscuous?

[xbuzzerx]

As for the last bit, do you mean you rarely see married gay couples IRL or on TV? There seem to be a few celeb gay couples. Erm, mainly I just see Neil Patrick Harris and his husband. And Ellen and Portia.

Well, I mean yeah, those are there, but I mean more people you'd see everyday/growing up/in real life. Outside of gay Meccas, it's rare.

 

[Str8Top14701]

Gays aren't any more promiscuous than anyone else. However, guys' sexuality being what it is, there's less game playing and dancing around the subject.

 

[bankside]

The question might better be: why does gay culture assume promiscuity is the norm when so many gay men are actually looking for stable relationships?

Tigersfan, about a month back there was another similar discussion, and the most recent study that was in discussion showed that gay male promiscuity was higher than straight male on the whole, but it was on par with single heterosexual male promiscuity. There are other factors of course, but the fact that for the most part we can't settle down and marry is definitely a factor. It may give some gay men a more transient view of relationships and certainly ending long ones is a lot easier than in the case of long married couples. There's probably also a "role model" factor... imagine if none of us had married parents, how much would we prioritize one partner for life? It's hard to say. In the gay community, gay married couples in the U.S., while extant, are rare like unicorns. I've certainly never seen or known any off of TV or people like George Takei.

The study actually showed that most gay men and most straight men have the same patterns of sexual activity, but that a small minority of gay men are hyper-promiscuous, and that brings up the average.

 

[Just_Believe18]

It's because we're men lacking a social structure of community and religion that encourages monogamy in the heterosexual culture.

Mainly because we're men, and there's nothing worse when you can put two or more men together who are horny and find each other attractive.

 

[tigerfan482]

The question might better be: why does gay culture assume promiscuity is the norm when so many gay men are actually looking for stable relationships?

Well then I guess a better question (and a better survey to see) would be how do gay men compare to straight men in their desire for a stable relationship, which is more along the lines of what I was originally going for.

 

[xbuzzerx]

Well then I guess a better question (and a better survey to see) would be how do gay men compare to straight men in their desire for a stable relationship, which is more along the lines of what I was originally going for.

Towards that question I believe that women more than men, on the whole, drive issues of hard commitment, marriage, and even having children. Generalization of course, but I see it all the time. It's almost never guys hard pushing either having kids or getting married.

 

[mbamike]

Because I stay horny as fuck all the time!

 

[Rolyo85]

 

[sixthson]

It's almost never guys hard pushing either having kids or getting married.

Then why the big push for marriage equality if gay men seldom want it?

 

[Rolyo85]

Then why the big push for marriage equality if gay men seldom want it?

Because a lot of gay men put themselves in female gender roles. Also, because it's something we're not allowed to do and so we want it more. And ALSO because buzzer is actually wrong - it's not that guys almost never push for kids or marriage, it's just that women get to that point way before us. I believe most guys WOULD actually arrive at the desire to get hitched or have kids if women were not making it an issue before us.

 

[Rolyo85]

Ehrmagerd! You made sad kitty even sadder!

 

[-Kane-]

Is this representative of the majority of the gay community?

Yes it is! And don't allow anyone to fill your head with any bullshit to the contrary!
The sooner you understand the nature of ALL men (both Straight and Gay) is a day you should look forward to..

Making yourself vulnerable to love with a gay man is like asking for pain. LITERALLY.

 

[Rolyo85]

Yes it is! And don't allow anyone to fill your head with any bullshit to the contrary!
The sooner you understand the nature of ALL men (both Straight and Gay) is a day you should look forward to..

Making yourself vulnerable to love with a gay man is like asking for pain. LITERALLY.

You're so cool with your cynicism, bro. Tell me more!

 

[sixthson]

Also, because it's something we're not allowed to do and so we want it more.

Oh, I thought it was because of love and commitment. My bad, I guess.

 

[Rolyo85]

Oh, I thought it was because of love and commitment. My bad, I guess.

Cut the condescending crap please. I am not in love with anyone at the moment and I'm not committed to anyone. I still want gay marriage for a thousand reasons, including the fact that I hope to be at some point. Plus, if all marriage was based on love and commitment, divorce wouldn't exist..

 

[bankside]

Hm. So rage-y.

Men aren't entitled to have sexual access to women's bodies just because they want to 'get some.' You make it sound like these men are being denied something that is owed to them when they're not. If they choose to pursue a woman, they can either respect the terms she sets out or they can move on to someone who is more compatible. And vice versa. Choosing not to be promiscuous (or wanting a potential sexual partner to persuade you in some fashion) does not warrant being called derogatory names.

As for the women who are interested in NSA sex but show some reluctance, you might want to consider how the level of 'slut-shaming' that exists in our society plays in to this. Especially since women are the primary targets of it, even from the men they choose to sleep with in many cases.

Yes, we live in a world where women are sometimes pathologised simply for exercising their right to autonomy and consent. Yes, we live in a world where the enthusiastic consent of women is sometimes stigmatised. No, women do not have a duty to "lie back and think of England."

But the post you were responding to was not at odds with any of that: that post is primarily a charge of hypocrisy.

We live in a world where sometimes women who want to have consensual sex shame men who want to have consensual sex by portraying them as out-of-control rape-y misogynists who can't manage their own sexuality.

And that charge is valid. It is the way in which slut-shaming of men is conducted.

 

[EJMichaels]

I've never understood the whole point or purpose of an open relationship. What kind of a "relationship" is that where you just as easily have sex with a stranger as you would with your significant other? A relationship of that type seems like it's just a glorified companionship...

I'm no expert on gay men, but I think I can address this partially. There are some serious, committed relationships that are "open" to sex with others, but they aren't open to a bunch of random sex with strangers. The partners can agree on the terms and the people. It requires honesty and other things you find a solid relationship. It does, of course, mean that love is not seen as a requirement for sex. Love can make the sex better, but it doesn't have to define it.

Straight guys are on dating websites looking for the exact same thing, but ...Gay guys just cut the crap.

I think there's some truth here.

EDIT: I posted this before seeing all the posts, but I'll just leave it...

 

[MissAnne]

Men aren't entitled to have sexual access to women's bodies just because they want to 'get some.' You make it sound like these men are being denied something that is owed to them when they're not.

YUP

 

[EJMichaels]

From that study mentioned earlier -

98% of gay people have had 20 or fewer sexual partners; 99% of straight people have had the same number

However, I saw another study of 5000 people that revealed an interesting twist on this. I'm sure the sample was biased, but you can see how the numbers sort out differently depending on the range used. It also shows that the majority of both groups have a small number of partners:

Straight men
0 - 10 partners 70.44%
11-50 partners 25.41%
51+ partners 4.15%

Gay men
0 - 10 partners 51.12%
11-50 partners 24.55%
51+ partners 24.33%

 

[FanofFiction]

I'm 28 and have only had three male partners in my life. I'm married to my first serious boyfriend; six years strong!