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Why are older gay men always alone ?

S

streetblackcock99

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I just realised, the majorority of men i've been with are like, 40+ and still alone,

is it a lifestyle choice to stay single or is it just that unfortunately they haven't found someone to wife them up yet ?

pursdonally, at the age I am rn, I really ain't finna be in a relashunship, i'm quite happy with my fuckbuddies and random hookups, but, I do hope and pray to the lawd and behby jebus that later on in life, that changes,

because I do like the idea of marriage and mononogamy, just not rn, ya'll feel me ?

where my dilfs at to shed some light and give me hope for the fewture ?

Amen.

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42, been partnered for almost 15 years. I don't have a ton of older gay friends, but most of them are partnered as well. That may just be the company I keep, though.

Lex
 
But Lex sis, did you have the same perspective as me towards relashunships at my age or is you always wanted the bottom and the white picket fence from young ?
 
Hey gurl!!!

Tell me about it..........Why is it so hard to find a good man??

They're single because they've haven't met me yet........I'm really traditional you know. I like to wear an apron and bake cookies in the kitchen.

SBC, can we go shopping? I saw this cute bag at Bloomingdale's. But I'm kinda broke right now. I'll have to put it on the credit card or look for a sugar daddy... :p
 
My perspective on relationships has always been pretty much the same, although it took me decades to find a pithy way to say it. "It's never a good time for a bad relationship, but it's never a bad time for a good relationship." I was fine dating casually if that's all I really had open to me, or even just jerking off alone. I figured I'd just keep looking, and if somebody came along that felt "right", then I'd go for it. And somebody did. :)

Lex
 
I have 3 aunts who is in their 40's and still alone, I ain't finna ask them why, because I don't know them like that but, whether people wanna admit it or not and this goes for straights too, but moreso gays, when someone is "of that age", people don't usually say, but, ARE thinking, "hmm I wonder why so and so is still alone/hasn't settled down rah rah rah etc...",

ya know ?

and before anyone says anything, this ain't isn't a dig or a diss at anyone, 40+ dilfs is my fave typea man, yas ma'am it is.
 
NaughtyArousal said:
Because they want to be?

Because they have no other choice?

Because they aren't rushing into anything?

Since I was 3, I've expected myself to be alone forever. Not because I'm afraid of commitment or anything. It just feels right.

Different people have different reasons, though. Who cares? As long as they're happy with their situation, let 'em be.
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Expected yourself to be alone forever, yas, I feel you sis.

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narrow dating pool that gets even more narrow when you begin excluding all the guys whose mental and emotional well-being didn't survive their homophobic environments, (and we aren't even including guys messed up from the normal trappings of life ie absentee father, alcoholic mother, bullied etc). gays are estimated at less than a double-digit percentage of the population, as for you and i it's even slimmer if we date with racial exclusivity, once you subtract all the high-school dropouts and jailbirds that pretty much leaves me, you, trey songz, eddie murphy and that cunt who works as a cashier at the Target down the street.
 
I was in various long-term, living-together, love-based relationships from my late teens to my late thirties; now ... in my 50s ... I much prefer being single.

Although I would never rule out the possibility of some sort of ongoing 'relationship' in the future, I can't imagine ever wanting to live with anyone again.
 
Karen_Walker said:
narrow dating pool that gets even more narrow when you begin excluding all the guys whose mental and emotional well-being didn't survive their homophobic environments, (and we aren't even including guys messed up from the normal trappings of life ie absentee father, alcoholic mother, bullied etc). gays are estimated at less than a double-digit percentage of the population, as for you and i it's even slimmer if we date with racial exclusivity, once you subtract all the high-school dropouts and jailbirds that pretty much leaves me, you, trey songz, eddie murphy and that cunt who works as a cashier at the Target down the street.
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Me and you ? hmmm, is your crabs gone sis, maybe we can finally hook up if they gone.
 
This is a fallacy. Almost all the middle age and elderly gay men I know have been paired up for decades. The reason I'm single is my companion died 4 years ago from cancer, and we were together for 20 years. We would still be together if he were still here. I know many gay couples who've been together for 20 and 30 + years. There's plenty of straight middle aged people who are still alone.
 
Two words: bitter queens.

Good chance they have deep psychological issues they haven't worked out yet and probably never will. Sure relationships are not for everybody many of times I've met single middle-aged gay men at a bar, they have all sorts of crazy going on.
 
maxpowr9 said:
Two words: bitter queens.

Good chance they have deep psychological issues they haven't worked out yet and probably never will. Sure relationships are not for everybody many of times I've met single middle-aged gay men at a bar, they have all sorts of crazy going on.
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This is possible. However I've met many single gay men in their early 20's and you can tell they'll never be paired up with their all sorts of crazy going on. Crazy comes in all ages, not just "middle-age"single men.
 
Whilst I'm currently 46, I've pretty much been in relationships since I was 19 as I 've never been one for tarting my carcass around town for everyone to bounce on. ;)

I lost my first partner (of 15 years) to heart failure, the next to cancer (after 3 years), and the third was shipped back to the States under DADT. Picking up the pieces can be an enormous emotional drain, and not something I'm prepared to have to do again in the next few years. Although I've always been surrounded by younger people, and had a couple of twinks make it clear they're more than interested, I just can't be doing with the drama that comes with most youngsters nowadays.

When I feel I want to go down that road again, I will do - probably more for companionship than anything else, but right now though, I'm more than happy being single - in fact my family worry about it more than I do.
 
Well, according to the 2010 census, the median age for same-sex couples is about 39. That means that for gay men living with a partner, there are as many over the age of 39 as under the age of 39. So I don't think your point makes much sense.
 
^ I'm guessing those older same-sex couples just aren't as visible. They're more likely to be homebodies, for instance, and just not go out that much.

Lex
 
The ones that were alone when they are older were also probably alone when they were younger. Why are younger men alone? Riddle me this.
 
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