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Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygamous?

Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

Chance1826 said:
Exactly....



I'm glad you disagree...because it makes for a better argument. I totally disagree with your view. It sounds like you must not have found a "soul mate" otherwise you and your soul mate would be together and not need other vices. No, you cannot love more than one person "equally". Wiring is wrong if you do. I do understand you can love someone differently, and many people, but this I am referring to as family love, or amongst peers. You simply don't love two boyfriends equally, it is that view that is causing issues in our society amongst our generation and those after us.
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Okay. Here is your problem. You believe that unions or two people together as such a marriage are the building blocks of society. And everything else is superficial right?

Because 3 people in a relationship obviously can't be intimate or love each other. because beds only fit two people right :O

A third just takes up all the room and ruins it.

It's not that by having a third you are ruining the relationship. It's more that you are doing something a bit more out there and different then what others do. It can still work but it requires alot of work. And as that person said. Monagmous relationships aren't always monagmous. Partners cheat sometimes. Hell there might be some people who are better suited for poly. But because in their mind they disregard that it can work it's wrong they aren't going to pursue it. And because of course. They don't want to destroy society's building blocks.

I also thought that poly relationships date back a bit farther in history. Although that might been a little different then what it is today.

Why define or judge someone's love?

Oh and M/s is Master Slave relationship. Or lifestyle. Not to be grouped with S/M and BSDM which is more of the play, scene, fantasy, and not so much a lifestyle but it can be.
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

Chance1826 said:
Please see Fallen's comments...I'm late for dinner or I'll respond when I return.



Polygamy can be defined as any "form of marriage in which a person [has] more than one spouse

Generally...that is what were referring to...however, we could use either term for the sake of this argument.
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Multiple partners would be more complex but that also can work as well.

Although I figured since you say said more gays were being poly. I assumed you meant gays were being poly as in "3" not more then 3. And if that is so.

Are you sure you aren't mistaking that for fuckbuddy group sessions?

That also happens sometimes and that generally isn't a poly thing. Although it could become one.
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

I believe that all the loves I've known are wonderous. I've loved & that's what's counts. I've been rich - I've been hungary - but I've loved & I love you
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

Chance1826 said:
No, actually, I am referring to "married" gay couples. I use the term loosely to convey what the gay community refers to as gay marriage, or unions.
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Not a term I'd use personaly, seeing as we're not allowed to get married for the most part. And it would only be polygamy if there were multipal spouses in the relationship.
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

Weve only been together that long. We all need to decide - the or the other thing.
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

The only other thing older than the redwoods & eatha kitt used to be me (rest her soul). I've been very rich - I've been hungry - but I've believed in love. I've been faithful to my love - not just in peaceful times. I just don't have a choice - I'm married. Do what you need - just stand by your convictions & let them be heard.
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

Mmmm, personally I am an old-fashioned kind of guy. I would prefer a monogamous relationship to a polygamous one any day. Even having basically zero experience with relationships, I know I'd like to be with one guy, and one only.

Like Vanti said; I don't want to stop anybody from doing what they please, but don't look at me strangely because I would prefer something different.
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

Chance1826 said:
Um...I think you reading too much into what I said. I am describing a couple who has a relationship with another person in the belfry so to speak.
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I suppose I misunderstood you.

I thought you meant you don't believe in poly relationships where the 3 or more stay together.

But I guess you mean where they switch every so often.
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

Just as a friendly reminder, humans were not always monogamous.

In some cultures, men took on multiple wives. There has even been matriarchal societies where women took on multiple husbands
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

It is one of the interesting and scary things that I had to deal with when I came out a little over three years ago and moved to DC.

I remember when I first went to Annie's -- I got to know the wait staff because I ate there often and it was close to my house (and was one of the first places I found). Papa and I became friends and he would seat me near people he knew, singles, and couples. Most of the couples looked to "bring me home" to a three-some which shocked me at first because I had been in the hetero world denying I was gay and it was something not commonly done.

I went through my "coming out" phase and have now settled into a monogamous relationship which both of us love although he keeps thinking I'll find someone better (and he's beautiful!) I guess I was used to going out with other couples, doing dinner, movies and things in the straight world but in the gay world, it all too often means we are going into a "group" for sex or swapping.
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

I think what it essentially boils down to, is some guys can separate the emotional and physical aspects of sex whiles others cannot.

For those who can, they are able to have as many other partners and "no strings attached" physical encounters while being able to maintain the emotional aspect with their lover.

For those who can't, the physical aspect of sex is linked to their feelings of intimacy so they can't comprehend having no strings attached sex or bring multiple partners into their relationship.

Me personally, I wouldn't be able to have one night stands or bring anyone else into a relationship.

But if two people are able to maintain an intimate relationship with one another while having meaningless sex with strangers, more power to ya lol
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

Not sure if anyone mentioned this cus I couldn't be bothered to read the entire thread but STRAIGHT couples have swinger and open relationships too, if not more often than gay couples.

So why this is a gay related issue I don't know.
 
Re: Why are so many gay guys wanting to me polygam

](*,)](*,)

Note to Chance.

i notice you are partnered.

i also notice that your profile says you came out in 2009.

thus my question(s) to you is how long have you been partnered and did you and your partner just come out as a couple recently or long ago.?

there seems to me to be a bit of a contradiction going on here as to what you are saying in your OP vs. our own situation as stated via your profile.

i am not attacking your OP as i think it has a lot of merit to it.

just the foolish comments and observations of the local village idiot.](*,)
eM.:(
 
almost EVERYONE in this thread missed the boat

monogamy and polygamy are not even remotely the same thing

non-monogamous is an open relationship in which one or both partners engage in CASUAL sexual acts with someone outside of the relationship

polygamy is a COMMITTED relationship in which there are more than 2 people in the primary relationship - it is not dependent upon whether that relationship of 3 or more is monogamous or open - there are 3 or more people in a COMMITTED relationship
 
There does seem to be some confusion between monogamy and polygamy and open relationships....

but I am wondering....except for the posts that were quoted....why have Chance's posts been erased?
 
this thread created 2009
Most of the names above are gone, where are they now ? :cool:
 
My relationship with my partner would never have survived six months let alone nearly twenty years if we had been monagamous. Fpr crissake we were twenty-four years old! We never even discussed it. We still haven't.
 
I guess I'm a freak I don't like the hook up culture and I don't like poly culture I just want one true!
 
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