As has been mentioned, one of the underlying causes for "gay bitchiness" is a response and defense mechanism to the verbal and physical abuse we've experienced. Just as a huge percentage of child-abusers were themselves abused as children, so little queerlings who've been ripped to shreds their entire lives will turn around and rip others to shreds when they reach adulthood.
This happens a lot more in the effeminate types, since we get the most abuse from others. We take as our idols and goddesses those exemplars of the quick and cutting riposte, the raging harridans of stage and screen, the characters who respond to attempted put-downs with scathingly clever replies; we adore Oscar Wilde and Dorothy Parker, we emulate Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, we elevate to deity anyone who can make someone cry with a raised eyebrow and a well-toned "Oh, no she didn't" with three snaps to the left. We make an art of being mean to armor ourselves against the meanness of the world.
And we don't just rip other gays to shreds, we rip everyone to shreds. We arm ourselves with the weapons of our enemies (the put-down, the cold shoulder, the tacit if unspoken rejection of society) and refine and sharpen them so that they are more powerful than the weapons used against us.
I say "us" because I once dabbled in the art of the bitch; but I was never very good at it because I am cursed with an empathic conscience and can't bear to hurt other people's feelings... I was never willing to say something bitchy about someone where they could hear me. And as I grew up and discovered that elevating yourself by putting others down is an ugly and useless cycle, because you feel bad for being a bitch and just have to redouble your efforts to feel good about yourself... when it's easier to feel good about yourself by being good.
But look: you, LarryNg and a lot of others in this thread, rip other gays to shreds all the time. You swathe it in the banner of polls and "what do you think," but you air a negative view of the gay community at every opportunity. I see it all the time here on JUB. You ask "why is the gay community not Eden on Earth?" But rather than trying to reach out to people and attempt to create that Eden, you put them down, you dismiss them in toto with sweeping and disdainful generalizations. You stand on your self-erected pedestal and say "These faggots are all a bunch of bitches and therefore lesser creatures from my own generous and enlightened self."
You are therefore the same as the bitchy queens you're here decrying, except that you're not funny about it.
