Why do hetero's think gay men hate women?

[XLeatherX]

There are some gay men who do hate women. I don't want anything to do with guys like this.

I've met ignorant straight men who think that all gay men automatically hate women just because we're not sexually attracted to women at all. They don't seem to understand how a man can be anything but straight.

 

[Odyssey Number 5]

They don't seem to understand how a man can be anything but straight.

You have a point there. I really do think that alot of straight men's homophobia comes from just not being able to comprehend how and why we would rather have in their words a "hairy, smelly dude" over a "hot chick". I don't think most straight guys can even fathom it.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I don't think most straight guys can even fathom it.

I don't question that these straight guys exist, but again, most straight guys I run into don't have any issue with it. Even if they don't "get" it necessarily, they seem willing to accept it. I put it in the same category as the "how can you not like chocolate?!" women. They may shake their head, they might occasionally give you a "How about Godiva - have you tried Godiva", but they eventually simply take it in stride.

Lex

 

[Odyssey Number 5]

>>>I don't think most straight guys can even fathom it.

I don't question that these straight guys exist, but again, most straight guys I run into don't have any issue with it. Even if they don't "get" it necessarily, they seem willing to accept it. I put it in the same category as the "how can you not like chocolate?!" women. They may shake their head, they might occasionally give you a "How about Godiva - have you tried Godiva", but they eventually simply take it in stride.

Lex

I do understand fully what you are saying, and I do admit that I am a bit of a pessimist when it comes to certain things. I guess growing up with a HIGHLY homophobic father like mine will do that to ya, plus being on mostly straight message boards and seeing straight guys tell what they really feel behind a screen, and having homophobic co workers and classmates, but I don't see it all bad though.

I am now starting to think that most straight guys are not the hardcore fag killers they want us to think.

I think alot of straight guys feel they have to be homophobic to prove their manhood and assert their straightness. I think it's mostly just following the pack so other guys don't think they are gay. I don't really think they hate us as much as they want us to think.

 

[MyReply]

The stereotype is that gay men are actually AFRAID of women.
It's lesbians that are said to hate men.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>I am now starting to think that most straight guys are not the hardcore fag killers they want us to think.

Good. Now start working on thinking that most straight guys don't want us to think that, if that's indeed what you meant. (Not sure if "they" meant "most straight guys" or "the guys you ran into online".) The people you're running into online are:

1. the most vocal of the lot. Most straight guys seem to accept us, but may not be constantly vocal about it. To move it away from this subject, you're far more likely to hear from someone who (say) hates Lady Gaga than someone who really doesn't care one way or the other.

2. less interested in tearing us down than in building themselves up. Pick some random guy at work - someone you're taller than, or more attractive than, or smarter than. How often do you tell them this? How often do you point out your "superiority" in this regard? Probably never, or close to it. Why not? Because why should you? You know you're taller. You know it's no big deal in the long run. So you don't bother saying anything. Online homophobe are simply older high school bullies. They can only feel better about themselves by trying to climb over somebody else. "At least I'm not as good as those fuckers."

And it's not like I live in the one spot in the world where homo is OK. I'm in Colorado. You might remember it as the "hate state" from the 1990s. But even here, in most places, it's totally fine. No, I wouldn't go into a biker bar in the sticks and start leering at guys. But my straight friends wouldn't go in there and leer at their girlfriends, either. That's less homophobia and more common sense.

And I've been on other messageboards, and run into some modest homophobia here and there. Nearly always, I've managed to counter it. I'm out even on boards that aren't gay related. And occasionally somebody throws a lame joke my way. And nearly everybody else on the board recognizes it for what it is - a lame joke, and often a sign the poster is insecure. Hell, one JUBber here is a trucker, and was running into some heavy homophobia on a trucker messageboard. So I joined up, introduced myself, and told them "We say homophobia is due to ignorance. But I don't think ignorance should just be waved away - it should be combated with education. So I'm here to educate. Any questions, comments, whatever - post them here. I'm willing to teach." And yeah, I got some less-than-pleasant things said to me. But within a few pages, people were asking real questions. And getting real answers. And they were treating me with some degree of respect. No, I don't think they all ran out and joined PFLAG. But I made them think. Their homophobia is presumably somewhat tempered now. And I think that's telling.

Lex

 

[Odyssey Number 5]

My own uncle once told a story about how when he was younger, that him and a few of his friends would go to one of the local gay bars and harass some of the "homos". My father was also very homophobic too! And I mean EXTREMELY! I remember the day after Matt shepherd was killed he said this " Even though he was a faggot, they still shouldn't have killed him, why didn't they just beat the shit out of him or cause him brain damage or something?" I kid you not! He was also in the army and I remember him saying he wished he could have machine gunned down all the "faggots".

 

[Dduder]

My own uncle once told a story about how when he was younger, that him and a few of his friends would go to one of the local gay bars and harass some of the "homos". My father was also very homophobic too! And I mean EXTREMELY! I remember the day after Matt shepherd was killed he said this " Even though he was a faggot, they still shouldn't have killed him, why didn't they just beat the shit out of him or cause him brain damage or something?" I kid you not! He was also in the army and I remember him saying he wished he could have machine gunned down all the "faggots".

Lol, this is crazy. The really incredible thing is that some of these "macho" guys who enjoy butchering people have a thing for teeny boys. Like those pederasts from ancient Greece who were mostly warriors and loved to fuck 17 year-old boys. Or like in Rambo IV the brutal killer and leader of the oppressors who raped a boy who looked like he was 9 or so.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>My own uncle once told a story about how when he was younger, that him and a few of his friends would go to one of the local gay bars and harass some of the "homos". My father was also very homophobic too! And I mean EXTREMELY! I remember the day after Matt shepherd was killed he said this " Even though he was a faggot, they still shouldn't have killed him, why didn't they just beat the shit out of him or cause him brain damage or something?" I kid you not! He was also in the army and I remember him saying he wished he could have machine gunned down all the "faggots".

Not much to say except I'm sorry you got a crappy draw when it came to having an understanding father. I hope he was a decent father in other ways. Judging by your post, it sounds like he's out of your life, in one way or another, at least physically. But it sounds like the specter of his words (not surprisingly) still haunts you. And I think it might be worthwhile to work on getting beyond that.

That's not me being dismissive - "get help". But it does sound like you're living in fear of the "straights". Your post above helps explain why that is, but that doesn't mean it's the way it has to be. I don't want to say you have to model your life after mine, or Jasun's, or anybody else's, but I think we're living life to the fullest, at least in that regard. We're gay, we've got gay and straight friends, everybody knows, nobody cares. I number among my friends businessmen and families, punk rockers and professional athletes. And nobody cares. It's no big deal. I spend zero time and effort wondering what people really think of me, or if they suspect, or what they would do if they knew. They DO know.

Lex

 

[Odyssey Number 5]

>>>My own uncle once told a story about how when he was younger, that him and a few of his friends would go to one of the local gay bars and harass some of the "homos". My father was also very homophobic too! And I mean EXTREMELY! I remember the day after Matt shepherd was killed he said this " Even though he was a faggot, they still shouldn't have killed him, why didn't they just beat the shit out of him or cause him brain damage or something?" I kid you not! He was also in the army and I remember him saying he wished he could have machine gunned down all the "faggots".

Not much to say except I'm sorry you got a crappy draw when it came to having an understanding father. I hope he was a decent father in other ways. Judging by your post, it sounds like he's out of your life, in one way or another, at least physically. But it sounds like the specter of his words (not surprisingly) still haunts you. And I think it might be worthwhile to work on getting beyond that.

That's not me being dismissive - "get help". But it does sound like you're living in fear of the "straights". Your post above helps explain why that is, but that doesn't mean it's the way it has to be. I don't want to say you have to model your life after mine, or Jasun's, or anybody else's, but I think we're living life to the fullest, at least in that regard. We're gay, we've got gay and straight friends, everybody knows, nobody cares. I number among my friends businessmen and families, punk rockers and professional athletes. And nobody cares. It's no big deal. I spend zero time and effort wondering what people really think of me, or if they suspect, or what they would do if they knew. They DO know.

Lex

I actually get along great with straight guys and just about all the people in my life happen to be straight guys, but I guess after all of the negative experiences in my life, I have sadly just come to expect the worst from people. I try to tell myself they won't hate me if I tell them I'm gay, but i dunno. I am out to some people, but not everyone. And model my life after Jasun? eek! LOL. I'm my own person and I will follow the path I think is right for me. I'm not "living in fear" I'm just being cautious. It's also not a good idea to assume everyone is accepting and that we live in a homophobic free world. You have to be realistic, find a happy medium, and do what you think is right for yourself.

 

[Odyssey Number 5]

That is the problem I have with alot of people on here though. They would rather hate people and spit venom at someone, then try to understand them and where they are coming from. 99% of people here are followers. Which doesnt surprise me because being a follower is a feminine trait and most gay guys including the ones on here are feminine.

 

[Jersey Domino]

That is the problem I have with alot of people on here though. They would rather hate people and spit venom at someone, then try to understand them and where they are coming from. 99% of people here are followers. Which doesnt surprise me because being a follower is a feminine trait and most gay guys including the ones on here are feminine.

I'm sorry but I find that to be complete bullshit.

 

[Odyssey Number 5]

I'm sorry but I find that to be complete bullshit.

Well not always, but most men, straight men at least, prefer to lead.

 

[Odyssey Number 5]

And I still stand by the fact that straight men are a million times more masculine than the average gay man. I know it hurts to hear the truth and it breaks hearts and self esteems, but it is what it is.

 

[Mstrshake]

Well not always, but most men, straight men at least, prefer to lead.

Again with these generalizations? What is it with people and their blanket statements? What's your basis for this one anyway?

I am getting somewhat frustrated at people's tendency to make these vast, all-encompassing declarations which often have little to no basis beyond their own personal experience and could hardly be evaluated objectively anyway.

 

[fetaby]

Again with these generalizations? What is it with people and their blanket statements? What's your basis for this one anyway?

I am getting somewhat frustrated at people's tendency to make these vast, all-encompassing declarations which often have little to no basis beyond their own personal experience and could hardly be evaluated objectively anyway.

Welcome to JUB, where the faceless are angry and ill informed.

Enjoy your stay.

 

[Odyssey Number 5]

Meh, this Oddysey guy is yet another little troll. I've seen him go into like 5 different threads now, at this point, yelling at the top of his lungs: "I hate JUB! I don't like you guys! You all suck, and you're catty little bitches!"

I would just ignore the crap he posts.

Come on now! That's a bit of an exaggeration! I just hate the pack mentality that exist here. Maybe if people here were a little nicer and more civil you wouldn't get people saying certain things. I sadly am just repeating what most people already think. I am not here to argue, so this is my last post in this thread.

 

[cliffdweller]

I certainly don't hate women, but after hearing about some of the things a lot of them complain about their men doing, it makes me think that there's no way in hell I could ever date one, and it's just as well that I'm gay.

 

[fetaby]

I sadly am just repeating what most people already think

And those people are free to make accounts and post their OPINION along with everyone else.

Until they do, they don't exist.

 

[MeDarrin]

I wouldn't say hetero men think that gay men hate women just because one guy you work with said something.

And I wouldn't say that the one guy you work with even meant it to the depth with which you are thinking he meant it.

Most, if not all, hetero guys know that gay guys don't want sex with women. A major turn on for a hetero man is two ladies getting it on. Ladies going for ladies is the core of The L Word.

So, logically, that coworker just figured you'd not be in to the show. I don't think he thinks you "hate" women.

And I'm certain that straight men of the general population don't think that either. They just think gay guys don't have sex with women, and are not interested in women that have sex with each other. And, thus, they think gay guys are not interested in a TV show about women having sex with each other.

And they're right!