The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Why do I hate some gays?... (ranting)

jaydizzo

jaydizzo

JUB Addict
Joined
Oct 14, 2007
Posts
1,293
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Location
Chandler
BTW im not offended:

have you seen the str8 guys that do this or even the women that wear guy clothes. I know where you cominig from but in the end its basically comes down to this cliche:

"To each his own"

everyone is gonna do whatever they feel like doing regardless of how you feel thats what they do and how they choose to live. granted not my style and it can be a turnoff for me too, but i cant tell them no. so i say hey f**k it ima do what do what i do.

I understand the rant but what can we do huh??
 
While hatred is no doubt inappropriate: There is, in fact, something quite odd about men loving men all the while acting liking women.
 
I was on this ship for awhile till one day it just didn't seem important to care anymore. People will do as they please and their audience will respond accordingly.

Who's to say that it isn't who they are? Irregardless of the fact that they're perpetuating a stereotype they have decided to adapt to that lifestyle and you're passing judgment on them because of it.

And it seems rather counterproductive to condemn those who decide to break the societal gender boundaries when we ourselves are getting flack from people just like you because our sexuality strays from the straight and narrow.
 
Yup. I have adopted the attitude: to each one his own.

This does not go on to say that I now have to make friends and associate myself with people whose ways and mannerisms are not to my liking. So, I do not.

But I fully recognize their right to be and do as they please, within the limits of the law.

SC
 
F22-Raptor said:
The straight guys that do it are kinda disturbing to me. What are they trying to say? I know we live in an age when everyone does whatever they feel/want to do and everything is rationalized and justified.

I think the reason it bothers me is cause this type of character play is not natural: we are not talking about transsexuals here. I feel like people lower themselves when they (forcefully) follow this cliche,' cause it was meant to degrade gays.
That's the character we see in Hollywood films that scare the world because it gives this false image of "gay."
Click to expand...

Being in the military i see some crazy interesting stuff. Im used to seeing everyone in a uniform for the duty day. But when it comes to chillin out and being away from work you see a lot of individuality. You will do double takes looking at how people dress and how they act all the time it will blow your mind literally.

In the end yes everyone is influenced will be influenced by what they see on tv or in Hollywood. No one tells me what to wear except during the duty day. [-X When im not on duty then i will rock my chuck taylor's (all-stars) or my addidas and my dickies or maybe my gym shorts, and a hoodie, or a t-shirt. who knows its individuality and depends on the weather :D. will i ever wear tight "girl pants" hell no, that aint me or my style. :confused:

but like me and the clothes i wear thats what i do, now for some people that may mean the tight "girl pants" and whatever else, they are just doing what they do.

As for it being the character that hollywood will set forth for gays to "scare teh world with the false image", it can be put into many other categories such as these: how many people do you see every day with 20's or larger on thier cars or trucks, how many lifted trucks do you see, how many porches, cadillacs, hondas, you name it sittin on the side of the street or rollin down the street. Hollywood and what we see from it is for entertainment, if people base their style off of what they see then as i said before who are we to tell them to change who they are. Cause if someone walked up to me and told me that they didnt like what i was wearing (which has happened before) i just look at em and say thanks and walk away they dont run my life. If people saw me walking down the street they wouldnt tell if i was bi or gay or straight, they can assume all they want.

Hands down I am my own person and thats what the guys you saw were, their own person

Yea some things i dont like about gay culture but i cant change why waste my time dwelling on it. theres stuff about the black culture i dont like but hey i cant change it.

People that talk to me on the phone before they meet me dont know who i am, when they see me some are a bit surprised, ive gotten the i didnt know you liked guys to the i didnt know you were black, to i didnt know you were military, stereotypes are out there for the same reason there are lines on the road, human nature i guess i have no clue.:rolleyes:
 
Some guys, both gay and straight, have, or like, effeminate mannerisms. It's just a naturally occuring variant.

If you're homophobic, hating effeminacy in men is a way of continuing to identify with straight men, many of whom want men to act like their own preconceived notions of what men should act like.

Also, if you're afraid of being, or been seen as, an effeminate man, hating effeminate men is a way of disguising and/or dealing with that fear.

As you grow more comfortable with your own identity as a gay guy, so you'll grow more comfortable (or, at least, more neutral) about the issue.
 
A couple things to toss out there.

First off, they're not "acting" any more than you are. If you've ever been asked to "pretend you're straight" or "don't talk about your boyfriend", you have some inkling about how difficult it is to act counter to how you really are. They'd find it just as difficult and artificial to "act straight" (like you) as you would find it to "act flame-y" like them.

Why does it make you mad? Probably because they fit, and therefore propagate, the gay stereotype. Those unfamiliar with homosexuality tend to think "that's how they act". (Perhaps you had some issues yourself when you came out, thinking "I can't be gay, because I don't act like that.") And since these stereotypes come with some negative baggage - they're weak, they're not "real men" - it's natural to want to rebel against them. To show the world that "No, I'm not weak. Yes, I'm a real man" even though you're gay. Seeing effeminate men might make you feel like you've gotta work harder on that, and that these guys are partially to blame for it.

If this is the case, you'll need to alter your thinking a bit. If anyone wants to think that you - or any gay man - is less of a man due to their homosexuality, that's THEIR problem. It's not up to you to force them to alter their thinking unless you'd like to give it a go. And when I see effeminate guys, they may not be "my type", but I actually feel really happy for them. Consider that as recently as, oh, thirty years ago, they'd probably be forced to "act straight"...and probably feel totally miserable for not being able to live their lives as they really are, and as they'd really like. Now they can, and I think that's great.

Lex
 
Be yourselves, don't be fake!
Click to expand...

And for some, this is themselves.

You're the one with the problem, not them.

Spend some time figuring out why you're afraid of them.

And then like every other person, respect them for themselves and stop worrying about whether they fit your idea of what guys should or shouldn't be. Okay?
 
I think there's always a grain of truth in every stereotype or caricature in a minority community. It's usually the aspect that most don't want to acknowledge or what they consider embarrassing.

I can relate to what you're saying because I never liked the idea that these guys are the immediate public image of what being gay means without any consideration to the other types of gay guys out there.

Personally, it use to really make me angry and every time I saw someone like that all I could think was WTF is your problem, why can't you act normally. Until recently when a co-worker, fully gay stereotype "man bag" and all, who I always avoided ended up walking together to a staff party. While we were walking down the street the amount of people that looked at him and laughed or called out F@ggot (sorry) and other names was just astounding.

I never realized just how strongly or quickly they're targeted just because they're so visibly gay. What makes it worse is that they're targeted both within the community and by the outside world.I live in NYC and if that's the case here in such a large city I can just imagine what it's like elsewhere.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone or if this post comes off as a lecture, but I just wanted to illustrate a point. I think it's fine that you feel that way now, but also take a minute and try to place yourself in their shoes and see if they have anything to gain from trying to "act" like a stereotype and see that there really isn't. Accept, reject or tolerate them, the ultimate choice is up to you.

Later
OTH
 
About the girls' jeans...If that bothers you then that's just silly. Lots of str8 guys and gay guys do it. It's not because they want to be women, but because girl jeans just fit better, unless they're so tight you might actually think the bottom half of the guy's body belongs to a girl.

And about the feminine behaviour...One thing it's if the guy has some natural mannerisms and another one completely different is when they go all they way to mimic how women act and dress. In any case, I don't put too much attention to it and just let everyone be happy and live life as they like to.

Remember BE OPEN MINDED. It's bad enough that everyone else in the world criticizes the gay comunity, we shouldn't waste time criticizing our own. It's better if we stick for each other no matter what.
 
>>>I don't believe in the notion that one should not criticize. I think that's a big mistake. Sometimes people do need to speak out. Look at how the AIDS plague and drugs devastated the gay community. Things would be different if people spoke out and criticized earlier.

You're really into apples and oranges territory here. Yes - AIDS desperately called (and still calls) for a change of mindset and behavoir. But you've got a big mountain between that and "criticizing the fems".

Lex
 
F22-Raptor said:
I guess I've always been the type that didn't care to follow all the trends and fads that the media or whoever puts on us. Whether in high school or in college, from guys to girls-we are so quick to imitate and not be ourselves.

It's like I have some friends who are into skateboarding now and I always tell them is it necessary to all of the sudden wear Oakley and specific skinny jeans, and say "dude," and "cool" every five seconds? Does it make us a lesser of a skateboarder if we don't have certain hairstyles or tattoos? Here in NY , I can't notice how fake our generation is. People only care for that certain image or gadget. So many girls are fake with the tanning and those ridiculous over sized $400 glasses, and bags.

I don't believe in the notion that one should not criticize. I think that's a big mistake. Sometimes people do need to speak out. Look at how the AIDS plague and drugs devastated the gay community. Things would be different if people spoke out and criticized earlier.
Click to expand...

Ummm unlike AIDS, I don't believe a pair of skinny jeans is gonna kill anybody.

You're too worried about how other people behave or dress and you're talking about being authentic and not imitating others in the same sentence. So...what if being authentic and not imitating others means being very feminine for some guys? What if those guys IDENTIFY with that behaviour and that's why they do it? What if they're just trying to be themselves and find happiness even if it means people like you staring at them like they're aliens and criticizing their fashion sense? Don't you think that's being authentic and just being who they are?

I do not believe they're following any trends; they're just doing what's best for themselves. They're not trying to be something they're not (masculine acting guys in this case) even if it means being that strange thing in the corner everyone stares at.

And about the skinny jeans, that's no trend whatsoever. Some str8 friends of mine do it and I do it sometimes simply because I'm so skinny some jeans just don't look right on me! So I have to do that...and IT IS indeed embarassing to go to a store and buy them but I do it anyway.
 
The_Pianist said:
Actually, I give the fems credit...they take shit and abuse from everyone, straight and gay, and keep on keeping on in the face of it. I'd have no problem hangin' with the fems.

No cowards they. Balls they have. Yup.
Click to expand...

What he said.
 
The_Pianist said:
Actually, I give the fems credit...they take shit and abuse from everyone, straight and gay, and keep on keeping on in the face of it. I'd have no problem hangin' with the fems.

No cowards they. Balls they have. Yup.
Click to expand...

My last ex was quite fem but he is without a doubt the strongest person I've ever met. The vast majority of people (straight or gay) would have crumbled under what he has endured in his life and he doesn't take shit from anybody.

While I am typically more attracted to masculine men I never look down on the feminine ones. They are who they are and if they are happy with it who am I to judge?
 
First, the tight jeans: Personally, I love wearing jeans that fit snug to my body. It feels comforting. I also like wearing baggy jeans as they are also comfortable. You wanted a reason for the tight jeans, and there it is.

Second, the extreme lisp and whiny tone: Sometimes people catch me off guard and point out that I use the "stereotypical" lisp and whine even though I don't mean to do it. It's not something I can control; it just happens sometimes. I'm glad that I don't feel the need to actively supress that part of myself just to please others, just as I don't feel the need to supress my feelings for men. The reason those two are linked is because both are "girly," and it USED TO BE that a man had to act "manly" or be an outcast. Thankfully our society is no longer that immature, or would you rather we descend back to such childish ways?

Granted, there are the people who will superficially cling to the typical gay stereotype by wearing the girls jeans and throwing out the lisp and whine just to feel connected to the gay community. As annoying as it is that they are re-enforcing a stereotype that just can't die sooner, it really is their choice and it obviously makes them feel better. While I agree that it's better to "be yourself" and to "not be fake," some people need that stereotype.

There, you wanted a purpose to it all, and you got one. Repulsion is one thing, and you can't really help it, but it's your problem that you're repulsed by it. Just please don't force your problems on to other people.
 
I really think it has to do with broader sociological causes in that even today, gay guys when growing up do not have masculine gay models made for them. As young boys first going through puberty (and probably for well after that, as well) one still, for the most part, has to first look at a hot guy in a straight couple and consciously replace the woman with oneself in the fantasy image.

We still haven't been able to shake the fact that society tells us that if you want to be with a man, you must be a woman.

I'm torn between really disliking seeing very feminine men and thinking that that dislike itself is as bad or comes from the same homophobic source that I would be repelled by.
 
I sometimes get bothered with gay stereotypes. Sometimes I feel excluded cuz I don't walk the walk and talk the talk.

I am just who I am, and they are who they are. No matter whether they are forming themselves to society or I just don't fit, doesn't matter. Just accept them as different than you, and move on.
 
I don't get why everyone disses the fems...

and who gives a fuck about any stereotype like that, every different group of people on earth has their own negative connotation because of what the rest of society views them as. it's nothing new. and I'd be more worried about the stereotype that we are all sluts who bareback and are incapable of monogamy, that seems to be the one that really affects us these days!
 
F22-Raptor said:
I guess I've always been the type that didn't care to follow all the trends and fads that the media or whoever puts on us. Whether in high school or in college, from guys to girls-we are so quick to imitate and not be ourselves.

It's like I have some friends who are into skateboarding now and I always tell them is it necessary to all of the sudden wear Oakley and specific skinny jeans, and say "dude," and "cool" every five seconds? Does it make us a lesser of a skateboarder if we don't have certain hairstyles or tattoos? Here in NY , I can't notice how fake our generation is. People only care for that certain image or gadget. So many girls are fake with the tanning and those ridiculous over sized $400 glasses, and bags.

I don't believe in the notion that one should not criticize. I think that's a big mistake. Sometimes people do need to speak out. Look at how the AIDS plague and drugs devastated the gay community. Things would be different if people spoke out and criticized earlier.
Click to expand...


Ouch I was understanding your point of view until this post and the last paragraph more to the point.
Do you not think if AIDS would have hit hetro's with the same vigor as it hit gay people it would be different? Drugs... hmmmm there is no sexual orientation requirement for this and believe me all "scenes" (people) are hit by drugs. It is not unique to gay people at all.

jeans were made at first for men as working clothes, and woman started to wear them.
You pick on the skinny jean, which are made for men. Yet you fail to pick on the baggy look that is opposite of this.
The slim skinny jean is a hell of a lot better for skating then wearing some huge baggy jean you have more control.
If you go back and look at old school macho death metal or thrash bands of the 1980's you will see Slayer, Megadeth, & certainly Metallica all wearing skinny jeans. The Ramones did, in fact all the punks did. There is nothing new here and they weren't pushing a gay image. You won't see to many queens at a Slayer -Morbid Angel gig.
Like everyone you have fashion style for your taste but express bigotry for what you don't like. That is fine I guess.

If you are talking about how people act, well drama is drama.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top