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Why Do We Always Fall In Love With Our Straight Friends?

  • Thread starter Thread starter yuty
  • Start date Start date
I've been going through this too with a co worker and it's working out to be very positive. The guy is 40 years old and I know that he is not naive or stupid but I had several incidents where I hugged him and said I loved him and last weekend, I kissed him on the forehead. I still don't know if he is bi or gay. He knows I think very much of him.
In April, we went to New York with my friend. Sexually, nothing happened even though we shared the same bed. But we absolutely had a great time. I hugged him and told him I loved him every morning before we headed out. And we did some serious talking as well.

I told him that I didn't think that he was naive or stupid and that he didn't know what was going on and I explained to him that when I said "I love you", I meant every word of it. I was emotional. He told me he wasn't ready for a relationship yet and I told him that I understood because I want everything to be right for the two of us.

Is he gay, bi or straight? Now that is a good question since he really didn't specify one way or the other. Odds are great that he is bi. I believe he loves me as much as I love him and I know that now.


In June, I’ve noticed that a student (we work at a college) had been getting close with him and it brought out the jealousy in me that I didn’t know I had. According to the policies of the college, relationships between staff and students are discouraged. Meaning, yes you can have a relationship, but be careful. Relationships of this kind have serious consequences that I’m sure, she will take advantage of. Some of our co-workers warned him of it and wondered why since she is a dog (yuk). Nothing to brag about. But I believe she is a gold digger and the only reason why she is even with him is to get special treatment from our department that she works for.

The times I had been out with him during the Summer, everytime I hugged him and told him I loved him, he responded you too. Everyone knows how close we are to each other and they like him a lot and I do have a feeling that a few knows that it’s more than friendship between us. Let’s face it, two guys do not wear the same shirt they purchase at the fair nor do they wear the only two jackets alike.

I do know that she has had problems with the law and still does and she has gone to these online dating services, about 13, each using various screen names and having relationships with these guys. Don’t ask me how I know, I done research on her.

I did have the opportunity to tell him, I told him why and how and told him I felt towards him and the way I felt towards that student which was resentment. I believe he is just using the info I gave him in case she should cross him in anyway. She have told a friend of hers that no man is going to tell her what to do. The night I told him, we hugged and I kissed him on his chest.

This weekend, him and I are going to Florida for the week. I blew it in New York, if this is the second chance, I want to make it with him. I believe he is bi and the only reason why the slut moved in on him is the fact that he is friendly as well as naive.

What a wonderful year so far. Bret dropped the slut that was taking advantage of him. And for two weekends in a row, we had been together. Both times I was able to rest my head on his chest while watching television.

It seems like that while being truthful really hurts sometimes, being a thief hurts alot more and her case, when her son stole some CDs from Bret's dad, he learned that just like he learned from me about her activity on a dating service website.
 
wait.. all this time and the most action you have is a hug and a head on the chest?

Dude, you need to move on... you're his safety zone.. not his BF. and you never will be.
 
My mate has a big problem. He's massively in love with his best friend, who's having none of it. The deviation is that the best friend is also gay... he just apparently doesn't see him 'that way'.

Gawd love is a terrible thing at times.
 
Seriously. All across JUB, it's the same story "I'm in love with my straight best friend/co-worker/roommate/classmate/guy who passes me every once and while and sometimes smiles at me?

Why do we obsess over our straight men knowing full well that the odds of anything remotely romantic happening is slim to none.

I'm not on high horse by the way. I've committed this atrocious sin a dozen times in my lifetime and I keep myself in the ass after the crush wears off every damn time.

that's the odds, baby. You want to date a woman, maybe 10% chance she's gay, maybe has a boyfriend, so the field is rather open, good odds you might get something going with a woman

for gays, 90% of our friends are straight and the reamining 10% are posting at JUB that they can't come out. So it is the odds that seems everyone you meet is straight. And 90% of them will be. Hence the odds are you will get an attraction to a straight guy since they dominate the talent pool we draw from.

Now if people wore badges...
 
it's only the odds if you're some kind of closted shut it or namby-pamby guy who refuses to talk to gay guys.

Those are the ones who are miserable and deserve to be.

Meet some gay men somewhere other than a club or a bath house or public washroom and you'll meet some great guys who would be perfect boyfriends.

None of whom will be interested in you if you're cowering at the back of the closet.
 
Its most likely because they are similar to the man we dream of having, yet hes not.
 
wait.. all this time and the most action you have is a hug and a head on the chest?

Dude, you need to move on... you're his safety zone.. not his BF. and you never will be.

Maybe I should but I certainly don't want to push him either way. He wants me in his life as much as I want him in mine and I am a very patient person. Him and I are going to New York again this Spring. Most of the Summer was just absolutely wasted on that slut that was taking advantage of him and he realized that during that time I was actually helping him out.

I truly belive that he wants me to be with him. I can't imagine why he would want me be with his family on Christmas Eve. Time will tell.
 
wait.. all this time and the most action you have is a hug and a head on the chest?

Dude, you need to move on... you're his safety zone.. not his BF. and you never will be.

Well Soilwork, I didn't move on and we did go to New York and nothing happened. As I mentioned I am very patient and I will not push Bret. Yesterday was Memorial Day and it was a holiday to remember when he invited me over for dinner. After dinner, he walked up from behind me and placed his hands on my shoulder and started to massage my back and hugging and kissing me. I lifted his shirt and began rubbing my hands through the hair on his chest and then we moved to the sofa.

It was total surprise to me, he made love to me. Right the man is straight and for a straight dude he certainly knows how to give an awesome headjob.

I didn't get to sleep at all last night and all I could think of today was how it happened and why. I have no doubts in my mind that he loves me as much as I love him. I'm still in a state of disbelief. :kiss:
 
Because it gives us comfort that if we are gay, hopefully one of our friends is as well and is giving us signals to go for it. We hope that the person we have so much in common with feels the same way. Even though they usually don't, it gives us hope. Hope that we aren't alone in being gay and hope of not being along forever.
 
I can honestly say I never fell in love with a straight guy.

Have I had crushes on straight guys? SURE. Many of them!

Do I love some straight guys? SURE. I love them like I do any close friend or family member in a non-sexual way.

Once I know a guy is unattainable because he is straight, there's something inside of me that shuts off the in-love sensor ... realizing nothing can go further than friends allows me to just enjoy the crush. I guess I was preprogrammed that way, and I actually like that because it has prevented me from unnecessary heartaches.
 
I can honestly say I never fell in love with a straight guy.

Have I had crushes on straight guys? SURE. Many of them!

Do I love some straight guys? SURE. I love them like I do any close friend or family member in a non-sexual way.

Once I know a guy is unattainable because he is straight, there's something inside of me that shuts off the in-love sensor ... realizing nothing can go further than friends allows me to just enjoy the crush. I guess I was preprogrammed that way, and I actually like that because it has prevented me from unnecessary heartaches.

I understand completely Rican and I had crushes on straight guys too, not many though because I didn't want to live on Fantasy Island. But there was something I greatly admired about Bret and no straight man was going to be looking at me as the way he did. I guess I found my answer. Why he waited so long to show me how much he loved me is beyond me and that just opens up more questions.
 
Oh God, my straight buddies are sooo offlimit to me. Only the thought of doing them makes me wanna puke, and some are actually hot and cuties.

If someone is not into me, then I´m not into them.
 
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