Okay so let's talk about this properly. If you mean settle down as in get into a relationship with a guy, and it be monogamous. Then there's guys that already do that. If you're wondering why there isn't as many guys partnered together, well, there's other things there such as compatibility. From what movie they like, to their pet peeves, to the vibes they get from the guy. There's many reasons why.
If you're talking about the general sense of why, here's what i think. There's this annoyingly large amount of guys that just look for "MASC4MASC", "no FEMS","none over 30" or "no azn." Isn't it a little absurd? There's this anti fem thing that is just absurd. The way boys are raised doesn't really make sense. Guys are expected to be indifferent and be clueless about feelings, or reject them if they have any. Or "think straight." Obviously, you've got to use common sense, with anything or anyone you're dealing with. What is there to be proud of with insensitivity or being just plain clueless? What's even sadder is that it has become basically an archetype of what masculinity is about or to expect from it.
You know what i'm looking for? A gay man. A guy who is comfortable with his feelings, has a good tongue for food, and is sensible as well as intelligent. Maybe some days he feels like belting out some "Queen of the Night" while building a cabinet. Then in the evening he treats me for dinner at some restaurant i feel i gotta get dressed up for, because you wanna look good when you go to Lips [you go for dinner and drag queens put on a show]. Isn't it important to be gay and embrace who you are and what you love?
Carrying on. There is also the issue of fear. Fear of the affection they give to a guy not being reciprocated. Well, that's a human reaction. There's just this vicious cycle of gays not properly learning about what a relationship is because the whole society is being force fed the manufactured version. Why can't a relationship be what you make of it? Why does it have to be, these are the things that he's gotta be doing OR ELSE he's not really into you. The ignorance is what screws people up. The fear that a guy is going to screw you over or the expectation that he's going to be over you real soon is what makes guys try to "pull one over" on each other. What's with the games? Guys trying to see how much the other guy really likes him, and when he finds out he kinda pretends that he's not too into him. Because of course, you should never let on that you really like a guy--that's so not hot. Then, to promote that idea so that the guy chases him, he pretends as if there's just a harem of guys he could choose from. Even if you have a harem of guys to choose from, why play the game?
So many guys lose potentially great guys because of this bullshit. Guess what else contributes to this? The fact that we lost a bunch of Gay Power we had back in the 70s. There was unity back then. Today, there's a lot of, "i couldn't care less." Back then, it wasn't always safe to be gay, so those who were out or were aware of others who were gay, took them in. Some gave them a place to stay, a place to hangout, and discover other gays. Why? Because you should always gay it forward and welcome new members of the community.
I'm tired of snobby gays. I'm tired of scene queens and club kids that size you up and give you a death glare if theyre not into you. Or if they just see you. What happened to smiling at someone and just hangin out? This is why i don't go to gay clubs. I don't think that way. I don't think, is this a guy i can pick up? When i go to a club, i wanna dance, i want to have actual fun, i don't want to cruise. I don't expect it to be kumbaya, but i'm looking for camaraderie in the community i feel like i belong to.
