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Why so many guys in their 40s/50s seek relationships with high school/college boys?

Oh, Geeze! All of you "Youngun's" dissing us "Oldies"! #-o

Check my sig, and quote. Trust me, Dudes! You'll find out what we "Older Gents" are talking about when you've finally traveled as far as we have. ](*,)

We've already been where You are! You have yet to be where We are! Unfortunately for You, You will discover, much sooner than You think, where We are coming from, now! :eek: :help:

Enjoy your Youth while You still can! It's not going to last! Your clocks are ticking faster than You can possibly realize! :slap:

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
I'm confused kyanimal - what's enjoying our youth and living carefree have to do with old guys who obsess over youth? It's great to enjoy youth... then move on! Or be youthful, but find ways to be youthful besides hanging around 18 eyar olds all the time. there is a real fountain of youth called positive thinking, exercise, nutrtion
 
Absolutist said:
You seem to be warning us "Younguns" that we will end up like many of the old gay men that are the topic of this thread. Not all gay men will end up exclusively pursuing people half their age. I will speak for myself in saying that my head is clear enough to recognize the kind of behavior that I don't wish to imitate as I get older.
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And, at the time, I thought I was pretty sure about all of that, too! I highly advise trying to keep those thoughts in mind! ..|

However, as unfortunate as it may be, your perceptions might just change as your years accumulate. #-o

youngnihilist said:
I'm confused kyanimal - what's enjoying our youth and living carefree have to do with old guys who obsess over youth? It's great to enjoy youth... then move on! Or be youthful, but find ways to be youthful besides hanging around 18 eyar olds all the time. there is a real fountain of youth called positive thinking, exercise, nutrtion
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You are absolutely right, for thinking the way you do, given "where" you are Now! Trust me. Been there. And, at the time, would have agreed with you whole heartedly!

However, aging is not something we can avoid, no matter how hard we may try to defer, or "put off", it's effects! It's not only a matter of our Physical selves, it's also a matter of our Mental selves.

The older we get the more we tend to "look back" on our lives, and wonder what we might have changed, done differently, and what those "alternative" outcomes may have been.

We also may tend to regret that we didn't fully appreciate that which we had. #-o

The saying that "Youth is wasted on the Young!" does have some semblance of Truth that can only be understood by those that have "lost" it. It's far more difficult to "move on" than you can possibly expect! ](*,)

Of course ... no matter what ...

Keep smiln'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
Absolutist said:
Please don't attempt to determine my fate just because you are older than me. Perhaps my perspective will change with age, but I highly doubt I'll be doing what some of the people here are doing and seem to be advocating. Your older age doesn't give you any individual insight into another person's feelings, standards, etc. You don't know who people are or will be just because you're older than them, and I take exception to your insistence that you do.
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I know what you mean about of the head is clear enough to recognize the kind of behavior that you don't wish to imitate as you get older. My grandfather is a very black/white (not the color of origin) judging man. My dad hates that and I know that he doesn't want to become like that to, but I've seen that he does that to in a smaller amount. When I was young I didn't want to become like my grandfather and my father. Now I know that I have it too but in less than my father. I do accept it now in some kind of way.

What I ment above is that you can not ignore yourself from who you are a part of you. The only thing you can do is accept them and learn about them (what most people don't) to control them to be good of use in your life. You can't be someone else, even if you wanted to.
 
Titanic said:
Either I'm missing something here or this doesn't really concern what I was talking about.
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It does concern what you were saying, to an extent, but it was also addressing Aijalon. My point was that there are different reasons that people enter and stay in relationships, including being a "slave to their attractions". It is not a silly notion because it is a reality.

Titanic said:
You and the OP were saying that one shouldn't let attraction determine a relationship. What I'm saying is that, on the contrary, it is my opinion that in the most successful relationships one should use attraction as the very basis for the relationship. Unless you're looking for a purely emotional relationship (which is a little sad), why would you go out with someone that you don't even find attractive? It's almost lying to yourself.
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Again, I never said that one should or should not let attraction determine a relationship; I said that some people use attraction for entering and/or staying in a relationship. In addition, even if a relationship has lasted over a long period of time, it does not mean that it is successful, depending on how one defines success. Also, why would it be sad that someone would want to be in an emotional relationship, anyway?

Titanic said:
Of course I understand that some people use ulterior motives for dating, but those aren't really what I'd call successful relationships. What I am talking about are relationships that last a good few years at least.
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So, success is defined by lasting for a few good years? Again, hormones and chemicals (what we call being a slave to one's attractions) alone can make people want to stay in a relationship; however, it does not mean that one or both people did anything correct to make the relationship work.
 
I'm involved with a guy who is college age (I'm 55). He sought me out, not the other way around. I was not looking for anything, but when he showed up and it began, I listened, tried not to pre-judge, and I'm glad I did. It has been a wonderful experience so far, and I look forward to what time brings.:D

Yes there are marked differences between us, but to me that is just a topic for discussion, not necessarily an issue.
 
Shawn1 ... That's Fantastic! ..|

I am, naturally, curious, though. How, exactly did you two meet, and how long have you been together? :confused:

It's truly none of my business, but any other details would be fascinating! (group)

Keep smilin'!! :kiss:(*8*)
Chaz ;)
 
Pokaman said:
Again, I never said that one should or should not let attraction determine a relationship; I said that some people use attraction for entering and/or staying in a relationship. In addition, even if a relationship has lasted over a long period of time, it does not mean that it is successful, depending on how one defines success. Also, why would it be sad that someone would want to be in an emotional relationship, anyway?
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I naturally assumed that you were trying to counter my argument, that was all. My apologies if this was not the case.

I understand that one cannot define success in a relationship in an objective way, since everyone seems to have different views on this. The thrust of my point was that a relationship that has lasted for years is likely to be one in which the two partners feel comfortable with each other, and happy that the two of them should be together, so I'm taking these as the basis for a subjective measure of "success" (based on my own goals for a relationship, which I believe are fairly commonly shared).

As for the "sad" bit, again I'm just giving my personal view. I really wouldn't want to be in a relationship in which the two people are not attracted to each other. Of course, over time the physical attraction of a relationship will probably smooth into a more emotional contentment (though it should never die away completely!), but if it was never even there at the start then isn't this a little bit upsetting in your eyes? Yes, it's just me being judgmental and looking down on such emotion-only relationships, but I can't help feel that if two men aren't attracted to each other then they should be friends rather than lovers. (This is hard to explain, I hope you see what I mean)

And yes, I waffle on a lot, for which I apologise. :-)
 
Even if everything works out great the age difference is forever going to be a pressing issue. I know a happily married straight couple who are 20 years apart. Now they are 60 and 80. The 60 year old wants to go out still see movies take trips, but all the 80 year old wnats to do is sit around at home. This is only a 20 year difference. Imagine a 30-40 year difference. It's unfair to one, or both partners, if such a relationship gets to that point. I know you could give me a situation where an 80 year old is with a 50 year old and the 80 year old is super active, but that's not the norm. Most 80 year olds, if alive, are pretty sedentary.
 
here's the deal, who is any of us to judge what anyone wants? If you're into this and that and you expect other people to deal with it, then you have to expect yourself to deal with other peoples' prefernces as well.
 
because they don't have much sex when they were younger and try to catch up with what they have missed.
 
Hey,

To the Op.

The real reason is that there's nothing hotter than having wild monkey sex with someone who has to do their homework after.

...apologies to Fran Liebowitz.
 
The operative word in the question is "seek".
If two people of different age groups (or other demographics) find themselves attracted to each other, that's fine, assuming laws aren't being defied.

However if the age difference is the attraction criteria, it's comparable to defining yourself as solely attracted to blue-eyed black men with litle dicks which curve to the left. You place unrealistic delimiters on yourself.

Most of us probably had our first sexual awakenings and attractions as adolescents and some might have locked in their perception of what makes a guy sexually attractive based solely upon youthful standards. The problem with that is we are born aging and cannot stop that train (unless by suicide); and that includes both you and him.
When he hits age 30, will you trade him in for a younger version because he no longer meets your vision?

All successful relationships require work. Gay relationships, May-Dec relationships, mixed race/religion and others require even more work because society tends to question them thereby creating other hurdles.
 
The reason that I'm more attracted to men older than 30, is that they're more mature in life. I'm totaly not attracted to 'childish' boys. They make me throw up with there sometimes idiotic actions. Maybe it's becaus I'm standing more mature in life. But I'll not take an relationship with someone who's older than 40. Because my dad could be almost his classmate and that sucks.
 
^Why do you think everyone in their 20s is childish and everyone over 30 is mature? I've often found it reversed.
 
They should find someone in their age that look younger lol
 
youngnihilist said:
^Why do you think everyone in their 20s is childish and everyone over 30 is mature? I've often found it reversed.
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Not everyone but most are in mine surroundings. I almost feel like a babysitter sometimes when I'm around my friends. Not that it isn't fun with them, but in a relationship I'm more comfortable with someone who's more mature in there behavement. And that's what I can find in older men.
 
Telstra said:
because they don't have much sex when they were younger and try to catch up with what they have missed.
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I never thought about this. that's interesting. But if it's just the sex I could understand that. But when they try to make it in to a relationship with tons of teenage drama is the part that confuses me.
 
Wow. I was gonna make a thread about an issue in my relationship, but this thread reminds me that you get flamed too much for having an age gap in your relationship. Ah well.
 
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