SonOfSlobone
Wildly Inappropriate
What evidence is that?The evidence still shows that relationships that begin with sex are less stable than ones which begin with string friendship.
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What evidence is that?The evidence still shows that relationships that begin with sex are less stable than ones which begin with string friendship.
What evidence is that?
It's published frequently enough I shouldn't have to cite anything -- there have been articles about it in US News, TIME, DISCOVER, and elsewhere just this year.
Here's the first thing that popped up in a google search: http://www.livescience.com/10935-delaying-sex-relationships-study-finds.html
A few months ago, I actually had a guy play the "I want a relationship" card and really meant it, to a point of desperation. We barely knew each other for two weeks and he was really pushy about wanting a relationship (he keep complaining how long he's been single and such, pretty blunt about it). I wasn't rejecting him or anything, just not going to jump into a relationship just like that. He took that as a sign of rejection and thought I wasn't interested.
Literally, within a week,he found himself a new boyfriend.
SPOILER ALERT: they barely lasted two weeks before breaking up.
OP, I hate it too.
But did that study include gay people?
If being gay means our relationships are based on sex above all else, I'd like to learn more about re-orientation therapy.
Hard-up1 said:Do you think we are different as a subgroup?
OP, I hate it too.
But did that study include gay people?
In all seriousness, I think a lot of the guys who do that think they want a boyfriend but are caught in that "looking for mr perfect" death cycle.
And of course the problem of not really knowing what they want.
But the biggest is that even the guys who DO want a BF go looking in the wrong places (like bars) and under the wrong circumstances (like while drinking) and it means we say things we don't mean.... Oh, they want a BF but they don't want it to be YOU.
The best remedy is to not look for a boyfriend. Go out and find a hobby that you love and find a gay group that does it... you'll meet a bunch of men you have things in common with and that's where you'll meet the circle of friends that will put you in the right place at the right time and Mr. Right finds YOU.
Trust me on this one, I've been married for 20 years.

That particular one? Possibly not. But studies have been done which don't ask if people are married, just if they consider themselves to be in a committed relationship, and haven't found any differences on any basis.
Let's do a poll here and ask how many people who are in a relationship waited a month or more before having sex for the first time. I'm not saying it isn't a good idea, I'm just saying it doesn't happen very often in the gay community. In the meantime, you'll be missing out on a lot if you refuse to have sex because you're waiting for Mr. Right.
That particular one? Possibly not. But studies have been done which don't ask if people are married, just if they consider themselves to be in a committed relationship, and haven't found any differences on any basis.
Missing out on what -- exchanging shots of proteinaceous fluids?
Most of the time, I can think of far more satisfying and productive things to do with strangers than sex.
I actually agree with both Kulindahr and Sonofslobone...
it's hard to explain, but I understand where both of them are coming from.
