Patti was up only a little before the sun. The kitchen was filled with a weak grey light. No Felice and Jackie this morning. Well, there would be a Jackie later. In her hands she carried the old silver coffeemaker Mom had brought from Chicago. There was a tradition. The first large pot of coffee was communal. After that the regular coffee pot was put out in the living room for the men, and the women set to the serious work of preparing the dinner.
Russell, Kristin, Reese, John, the three boys, Jackie—which meant Chip, Finn and the stray woman of the week, Mom and Dad, Kathy, and Denise, who was frequently so bitter that she passed out of memory and Thom—who needed to pass out of memory, or maybe just pass out. Not that many really. And that much food was not really needed and really not that much help to prepare it. Seven women in the kitchen at once when it was said that more than one cook spoiled the soup, and Patti realized that most of them didn’t really do anything. It was a time to talk, to be. It was good to be with the girls, to feel like a woman among women every once in a while. Good and discomfiting at the same time because there was really no telling what one of them would ask.
As she scooped the coffee into the basket and turned on the water faucet, listening to the shoot of cold water hit the tin sink, Patti realized that she was even happy about Kristin and Meg. Somehow they all mattered. Somehow all the women being here mattered. She wondered if the men felt this sitting around watching the football game. She wondered what Russell felt. Part of her wondered if he shouldn’t have stayed at Chayne’s house for Thanksgiving.
The kitchen door swung open and it was Thom, hair rumpled, in rumpled tee shirt and boxers, face rumpled as well, bottom lip jutting out.
“Good morning, Thom.”
She didn’t feel the way around her soon to be ex-husband she expected to. She felt uncomfortable, awkward.
His “Good morning!” was marred by a yawn. She couldn’t really tell how he felt as he shuffled to the sink, took out a glass and filled it with water before she could fill the coffee maker.
“My God, Thomas, you look horrible!”
Patti never thought she’d be grateful to see her older sister-in-law. Kristin’s hair was in a white snood, she was certainly wearing make up, and Patti thought to herself that Kristin Keillor must never look bad.
“Reese kept croaking about how he needs a glass of water,” Kristin excused her presence, waiting for Patti to fill up the coffeemaker before filling the second glass. “All men are such babies.”
“Give Reese a break,” Thom told her, finishing off his glass and going to the little side bathroom from the kitchen. “You act like he’s so incompetent,” Thom shouted back and the two women could hear him pissing. Kristin refrained from drinking her water at this sound, and the coffeemaker began to percolate.
“It’s not Reese. It’s all men.” she said. “Men are incompetent. My husband’s a man. Therefore my husband is incompetent. I believe it’s an Aristotelian syllogism,” Kristin shrugged and went up the back stair.
“I believe it’s an Aristotelian syllogism,” Patti heard Thom mimic and almost laughed. The toilet flushed. No one could piss as long as Thom.
“Bitch,” she heard Thom murmur, making sure to look around for his older sister before pronouncing the judgment.
“Patti, wake me up when the coffee’s finished.”
“Wake up your own damned self,” she muttered, reaching into her housecoat for her Bensen and Hedges.
“PMS must be in the water,” Thom muttered to himself going back through the dining room as the swinging door closed on him.
Patti was going to ignore this, but suddenly she was seized by a fit of rage, and she reached into the drawer beside the sink, pulled out the metal soup ladle, and charged to the living room, bashing Thom square in the back of the head before he could get back on the sofa.
“What the fuck!” he groaned clutching his head.
“That,” Patti said, “is for thinking you know something about PMS.”
And then she turned around and charged back into the kitchen, the door swinging behind her.
By nine o’clock they could get down to business. The men were gone from the kitchen. Jackie had finally come, Patti was through half a pack of cigarettes. They were finishing touches needed for the cakes, Black Forest and simple yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Kristin had insisted on making another cake herself.
“It’s to compensate for her lack of homemaking ability when she’s actually at home,” Jackie explained cracking open a beer.
“At least I have a home to make—” Kristin began.
“Girls,” Kathleen chided. “Girls. And Jackie, it’s nine o’clock in the morning.”
“Mom, it’s five o’clock somewhere.”
“Did Chip teach that to you?” Kristin asked, her eyes staring grimly at the bowl she worked the mixer in. “Or can he tell time? Speaking of time, What time did he finally get back to you? Or did he get back to you?”
“Kristin,” Kathleen chided in a drawl. Patti said nothing. She was going over her to-do list. The sweet potato pudding had been put together last night. It needed to be baked a little before dinner, along with the macaroni, two kinds—Grandma Mc.Larchlahn’s recipe, and Kathleen’s. That meant they’d have to start baking almost immediately and use the microwave frequently and all the heating trays in the house.
“Oh, Mom, I’m not worried about Kristin,” Jackie confided. “If I hadn’t had sex since the last ice age—”
“Oh, I’m sure Chip grabs you by the hair and throws you on your stomach!” Kristin was beating the cake batter all the more mercilessly.
“He doesn’t, but I’m sure it’s exactly what you need.”
“Oh, how would you know what I need?” Kristin demanded, scooping the batter into the first cake pan. “And who are you to inquire into the life of my bedroom?”
“There’s more life in a morgue than in your bedroom,” Jackie said.
Kristin clamped her mouth shut and continued to pour the batter into the cake pans.
“And it just proves...” Kristin thumped more batter into the last pan, “that you don’t know anything—about what makes a relationship—which is why, I suppose, you’ve never had a real one.”
“If the choice is between me being single, and me living up in the North Pole with a man who’s so whipped all he can say is yes dear, no dear, harder? Faster? I think I’ll take what I have now,” Jackie said.
Kristin prepared to say something, but just then, for the first time, Patti heard her own sister speak.
“Are you always this much of a bitch?” Denise asked, grating carrots.
Kristin blinked at her.
“I’ll never understand,” Denise went on. “I gave my husband everything. He took it and left. You give yours grief. He stays. I guess life is random.”
Kristin continued staring at her sister-in-law’s sister. They were the same age. Denise stopped grating the carrots and finally said, “By the way, you forgot to grease those pans. If you don’t take all the batter out you’re gonna make a really shitty cake.”
“Denise!” Sara reprimanded her daughter as she entered the kitchen.
“Excuse me,” she cleared her throat and kept slicing. “A really fucked up cake.”
“I had thought we could all go down to the fishing hole,” Frank said, readjusting his glasses.
“Granddad, there isn’t a fishing hole around here,” Russell said, taking a sip from his coffee mug.
“Russell, there’s Lake Chicktaw,” Thom reminded him.
“Nope,” Russell said as if this negated the lake’s very existence.
Thom didn’t pursue it as the UnderDog balloon came sailing past Macy’s department store.
“Is there even such a thing as male bonding?” Russell wondered.
“I think that we’re having male bonding right now,” his Grandfather said, preparing to wax profound. “Wherever men come together to share minds, there is bonding, a great fusion of souls in one common unity....”
Russell tuned his grandfather out, and Finn came down the stairs, just pulling a tee shirt over his hair chest.
“Good morning, peoples!” he murmured.
“Young man, you’re getting up awfully late,” said Frank.
“I didn’t go to sleep till awfully late,” Finn said. “I had business to attend to.”
Russell watched his uncle thrust his groin in and out and wink at them all before putting back on his shades and sticking an unlit cigarette into the corner of his mouth.
John shook his head and told Ross, “Why don’t you and the boys run into the kitchen. Are we all going to Mass this morning?”
“I think so,” said Thom. “We usually do.”
“I’ll ask Patti,” John said.
“Russell, I didn’t know you drank coffee,” Thom said.
“I didn’t,” Russell said, a little surprised at his cup himself. “Everyone else was doing it, so...” he shrugged. “And I didn’t know your were smoking again.”
“Everyone else was so,” Thom copied his son. “But don’t you start. It’ll stunt your growth.”
“Was Mom hitting you in the back of the head with a ladle what stunted yours?”
Thom’s eyes flew wide open.
“It’s all over the house. You told John. He told me. Aunt Kristin says you probably had it coming,” Russell said, getting up and going into the kitchen.
He and John were both there when Meg came down the back stairs, still in a nightie that ended right below her hips, cold cream plastering her face.
“Good morning!” she cried.
United in disgust, Jackie and Kristin both turned a look on Meg.
“I’m ready to help now. What should I do?” she demanded.
“Uh...” Patti drew a blank.
“You could put some damn clothes on for one,” Denise said.
Patti said, “You can restir the macaroni before I put it in the oven.”
Sara looked at her daughter.
“She has to do something,” Patti muttered.
“Dad wants to know if we’re going to church or not?” said Russell before John could speak.
“Of course we’re going to church,” Sara said sharply. “It’s Thanksgiving. We have to thank God. That’s what it’s for.”
“Sometimes,” Patti confided in Jackie, “I think Thanksgiving exists just to make you thankful for the other three hundred-sixty four days of the year you don’t have to go through all this.”
“Three-hundred sixty-three,” Kathleen said. “Don’t forget Christmas.”
“But there’re presents to make it better,” Jackie said.
“You’d better call the church—or call Chayne,” said Patti, “to find out what time everything is.”
“Three hundred-sixty two if you’re Scottish,” Kathleen went on. “I remember when I was a little girl, my grandparents celebrating New Years... Hogmanay. We were so poor, but there was more laughter and festivity than in five of our Christmases and Thanksgivings put together.”
“I have to know,” Meg said, finishing up mixing the macaroni as Sara eyed her dubiously, and the younger woman threw her elbows on the kitchen table. “What is Thom like?”
“Excuse me?” said Patti.
“I mean is he....” Meg smiled and blushed, “endowed? I wanted to know if it was genetic. A Lewis thing. Because Finn is huge!” Meg made an impossibly large gap between her hands indicating Finn’s size, and Kathleen’s eyes opened as Sara, sensing violence, reached over moved the cutlery from her fellow mother-in-law’s reach while calmly finishing off the icing for a Bundt cake.
Patti smiled and said, “I don’t know if it’s genetic. Jackie, how big is your penis?”
“Enormous,” her sister-in-law replied, and continued smoking.
“No answer,” Russell told John as he put down the phone.
“We’ll just go over and see if he’s home,” said John. “He’s probably busy planning Thanksgiving at his house.”
“That’s right. Half of Lothrop County’s supposed to be coming.”
They drove over and found half of Lothrop County double parked before Chayne’s house and the house next door. Running up the stairs and entering the front room, they found Chayne in a suit, walking to and fro his house while cousins milled about putting out China and laying out the insults.
“Of course there’s a Mass today,” Chayne looked at Russell incredulously. “In about an hour, and you’ve got a solo in it. Remember?”
Russell’s eyes widened. “Oh my...”
“There’s a Wideness in God’s Mercy,” Chayne reminded him. Beyond them they could hear Janna saying, “How do I keep getting pregnant?” and Pethane answering, “B being a ho.”
“Well, most of the time at least.:” Chayne modified.
“Twelve o’clock Mass! I forgot. Later Chayne,” Russell ran out the house. John said goodbye and followed his nephew.
Russell finished his solo that ended in a long alto note he was proud to still be able to hit. Below he could see the church filling, and Liz Ford lighting the candles on either side of the altar. Bill Nugent, the altar boy, was putting incense in the censer, and then walking the west arcade back into the vestibule under the choir loft.
“That was great,” Chayne whispered, and then went to Russell’s place after telling the choir.
Above the bells began ringing. Once, twice, three times. Twelve times. They silenced. The reverberation of their bonging settling through the bricks of Saint Adjeanet’s.
“That’s our cue,” Chayne said and went to the west stair, the one that led, not into the church, but the vestibule. He made sure the choir in its gold and green robes was in proper formation, Russell at the fore, the tenors in single file beside the altos, the basses alongside the sopranos and then sent them downstairs. Geoff Ford was waiting for them between Bill Nugent and Tina Yoast, their censors swinging, heavy with gold and sweet smoke. Betty Long held the lectionary in her tired hands. Chayne in his suit tiptoed downstairs, saw them all lined up. ran back up and told Hannah, “Start now.”
The first thunderous notes of “We Gather Together,” blasted from the pipes and touch of Hannah’s small fingers and tiny feet, and Chayne watched the choir glide into the church, singing to the little thunder of the congregation rising to its feet.
We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;
he chastens and hastens his will to make known;
the wicked oppressing now cease from
distressing
sing praises to his name--he forgets not his own!
Thom Lewis was surprised that he was still at the head of the table. Patti was at the other end. Sara had suggested that she sit next to Thom, but her daughter had thrown her such a look that Sara only smiled and said, “Nevermind.”
Thom cleared his throat, folded his hands and said, “I think we should all say something we’re grateful for. You know, go around the table and each say a blessing.”
“Like on Oprah?” Meg said joyously.
Thom frowned at her.
“I think they were talking about that on Oprah,” Meg went on. “Or maybe it was “Little House on the Prairie. Or something like that.”
“Or something like that,” Kristin repeated.
“Well, I guess I’ll start,” Thom said, putting on a happy face. “I’m grateful to have my whole family around me on this day.”
“Are you really?” Russell whispered.
“Yes, I am,” Thom said to his son with a little irritation. “And now why don’t you tell us what you’re grateful for?”
“I can’t,” said Russell, who was in the middle of the table. “It would mess up the rotation.”
“Well, then I guess it’s my turn,” said Kathleen. She said more or less the same thing as Thom. Among the most memorable Thanksgivings were Meg’s:
“I’m thankful for such a big strong man with such a big strong—ouch, who did that?”
Jackie’s: “I’m grateful that I’m not a bitter, controlling pre-menopausal bitch who has her husband tied to a string.”
And Denise’s: “As soon as God gives me something to be thankful for. I’ll thank him.”
After which Thom could only raise eyebrows, smile, blow out his cheeks and say, delightedly, “Amen,” then cross himself.
Watching his father, Russell had a sort of admiration for the man who tried so hard, clinging to—despite all contrary evidence—the belief that a smile which ignored all indiscretion could save the day.
“Oh, Reese, you don’t need that,” Kristen told her husband as he reached for the mashed potatoes. “Have the broccoli instead. Less starches for you.”
“Jackie, you know you don’t need that broccoli,” Chip told her as she reached for it. She gave him a sharp look, and Chip confided in Finn. “It makes her gassy.”
Jackie turned immediately red and exchanged a glance with John as Finn nodded and said, “Yeah, I remember when we were kids, and you’d get a little bit of roughage into her. You know what else makes her gassy?”
“Finn,” Kristin’s voice was sharp.
“Yeah, Sis.”
“Firstly, never call me that. Secondly, shut up and pass the turkey.”
“Next year,” Kathleen was saying,. “We will deep fry the turkey.”
Kathleen and Sara had been having a debate about baking or deep frying the turkey that had lasted a long time, Sara’s chief argument being that it sounded greasy and disgusting, until Patti had finally pointed out that they didn’t have a deep fryer or the forty gallons of vegetable oil it took to undergo such an enterprise, and finally Thom had stepped in and decided to barbecue the turkey for a bit of change.
“Reese, don’t eat so fast.” said Krisitn. “Man,” Finn said, which actually sounded like. “Meeeeeeeeennn, why you let her boss your around like that? Don’t you know a lady needs to be kept in line?”
“Really?” Jackie set the full force of her gaze on her brother, who gulped, and then at the encouraging chuckle of his much too old girlfriend said, “Really. Man, you need to stand up,” to the small blond man with the patient face and the military haircut. “You can’t be letting her tell you everything, running your life namby pamby.”
At this Reese stood up, and for a moment Thom thought he would clock his brother, and in that moment, he wished he would. But he only folded his napkin, pushed in his chair and marched upstairs.
Kristin looked after him and then turned savagely on her younger brother.
“Fenian, I blew your nose, bathed you, wiped your ass, fed you and left home when you were four. I didn’t like you then, and I don’t like you now.”
“Ooooh, you think you’re so big!” Finn stuck his tongue out at her. Chip let out a laugh, which made Jackie grab him by the arm and drag him into the kitchen.
“Whaddid I do?” Chip whined as Kathleen said, “Finn, that’s enough. Lay off the drugs.”
“You’re so old is what you are,” Finn went on.
“Patricia,” Denise’s voice rang out from where she sat beside her sister, though once she’d caught everyone’s attention she seemed, in fact, to be very quiet. “Could I make an observation?”
“Go right on ahead.”
“I know what I said about her,” Denise pointed to Kristin as she was turning to go upstairs after her husband, “but,” pointing to Finn and then Meg, “He’s a brain dead smoked out moron with the IQ of a cup of instant coffee, and she’s an old slut with a makeup kit I haven’t seen sense Grease.”
Denise sat back down.
“That’s all,” she said. “If I have anything else to say, I’ll let you know.”
“We’ll be waiting,” Thom said, shaking his head.
TOMORROW, THE CONCLUSION OF THE CHAPTER, AND MORE BOOK OF THE BURKING