I didn't know that monogamy and faithfulness was a "heteronormative" thing that shouldn't be bothered with by gay men.
Need not, rather than
should not. It's your choice, what type of relationship you seek; but you do not
have to model your relationships after your parents', you have the liberty to find what works best for you.
I guess we are a different breed of humans. Damn, I need to pull out my "how to be gay" manual and retrain myself to dump these silly ideals and just start fucking a new guy every week because apparently 50% of straight people divorce so logic says that there is no point to be faithful.
You seem to believe that there is only one right way and many wrong ways, and put those words into my mouth; I counter that there is
no one right way that suits
everybody.
If the monogamous romantic relationship works for you, as it works for many others (as I have said on a number of occasions...didn't I start off saying that the majority of men I know are in such relationships? And in a 50% divorce rate, at least half the marriages are clearly successful), then go for it. Just don't lay down the law that all people must seek the same kind of relationship or else they're broken, lonely, and sick.
BTW, 50% divorce rates did not exist in the past and doesn't exist everywhere around the world. We have our society to blame for the rising divorce rates.
While we're on the topic, you're quite right... the 50% divorce rate only exists in societies where divorce is available, and where women have the right to divorce and are not shunned because of it. Where divorce is readily available, it becomes common.
When people have the right to choose, they often choose divorce. Not always, but often enough to suggest that perhaps marriage as we define it is not something that everyone can live up to.
That is all I'm saying when I mention the divorce rate.
You know, this whole thing of romantic and sexually monogamous marriage is a new invention. Two hundred years ago, it was a fantasy in a novel; it has gained in popularity since then until it is the common mode for western society. But we're talking about two hundred years of modern history in the face of five
thousand years of recorded history and fifty thousand years of human history.
You cannot put forth the western model of monogamous marriage as being "natural" nor "historical"... it's a modern invention. I'm all for modern inventions, I'm sitting here typing on one right this minute; but you cannot build your own life on a "tradition" that isn't even all that traditional... you have to build your life so that it suits
you: not me, not your parents, not society as portrayed on TV, not
anybody... just you.
I have built my life as it suits me. I invite you to do the same for yourself. If you can answer the questions I set for you in the last post, and come out of that voyage of self-discovery feeling that a romantic monogamous marriage-type relationship is what suits you, then devote yourself to that ideal...
and accept no substitutes.
