The optimist in me believes people shouldn't be judged for past actions. And if they got aids through birth then they shouldn't be judged at all! But the end result is that I would worry, but at the same time you worry even if he doesn't have HIV.
Pretty fucked up, while you try to come off self righteous about not judging as you open your very next sentence reveals how you truly feel with the little baby remark.
Of the guys I know with HIV, and there are plenty I can honestly say that judging someone based on getting a disease never would cross my mind. I can also say that they are good, cool, productive, prosperous, loving & giving people of themselves and resources, these are attributes that I can judge on not over a disease.
This bug catcher lore is always in doubt and at best the minority. If someones character in your mind is that they are a slut and that is the actions you are judging on then you certainly don't have to have HIV to be a slut. I could be wrong but this is what you seem to be saying in your post, at least as I read it.
Who you date or don't date of course I can respect we have choices. Can't blame anyone who wants more disciplined and caring people in their lives over a sleaze life style. A disease isn't a life style though. Even a person who could be a bit wild certainly would never choose to get any form of std and may be careful to prevent it.
Who in the hell chooses to get any disease? How do you judge a person who has laid out in the sun for many years because they liked a tan then gets skin cancer? Are they of a weaker moral fiber then you because of their actions and not worthy?
..But then again a little baby who has skin cancer should never be judged based on this as well.
People, young or even older never think anything bad will happen to them and then guess what. They are riding their bike and hit a rock and fall off and break their back at 32 confined to a wheel chair or they get lung cancer but never smoked a cigarette in their life, or they have a stroke and their face is fucked up and they can't talk but they are only 43. Disease and trauma will effect every human at some point either directly or indirectly through their actions
You will watch your family, friends, and acquaintances get sick and die through time but even then you will never focus a lot of the fact that the same thing can happen and will happen to yourself. Everyone wants to die in their sleep, no one thinks that they likely will have a extended time of illness before they die and it could happen tomorrow when you are 25 or at 61. If you try and base a relationship purely on the fact of not wanting to be in a relationship where your partner is ill and is a burdon to your style then , in my judgment not worthy of being considered morally intact for any relationship.
My Father loves dogs. But he will never have another as he can't bear to have to deal with the heartache when the animal gets old or hurt and must be put down. It is gut wrenching. I understand this and its so true but he denies something that he misses and I can see it in his eyes because his basis for choosing for a bonding with a animal is fucked up and selfish, but it his reasoning.
My own partner died of Liver cancer, not HIV he was a tad older than me. Wow, one day in July he had a back ache, it didn't go away. After returning from vacation he had a biopsy on his liver that he didn't tell me was on his liver. Now its Oct. In Dec he was told he had liver cancer. It went downhill quickly and was fucking awful. He died in early March less than a year later at only 42. I would have cared for him and done anything needed for the rest of his life had that been 10 or 20 ys. Because I loved him and I never judged that all that drinking could be the reason for this.
I think I would do it again if the right guy came along and he told me upfront that he has liver problems.
Your wording just shows the intense conditioned stigma internal bigotry directed towards people who more times then not are guilty of nothing more then doing what humans have always done and that is having intimacy. Usually not the result of a lifestyle of gang-bangs and non-stop cum slurping of putting their cock in every glory hole on I-95 between Miami and Boston.