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Would you have sex with Jesus?

Would you do Jesus?

  • Total voters
    22
Lukeee

Lukeee

*high five*
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Well, would you?

If Jesus came back to life or if you could travel to the past and Jesus offered to have sex with you, would you?

And would you top or bottom?
 
I wouldn't have sex with Jesus. He's a total bottom. I'm more of a bottom...I could top but not with Jesus. He's not hot enough.

I also happen to think he's bisexual. I heard he had an incestuous relationship with Mary.
 
hoodedrat said:
How can anyone really answer that question? We know nothing about him.

The only info that that we have regarding the guy is a few writings claiming to report a few of his actions and words; second hand, hear say evidence that would be tossed out in a court of law.

However, going on the stuff written in the NT, he doesn't sound like much of a fun guy; there is a reference to him crying (Jesus wept) but nothing that indicates that he laughed or had a sense of humour. I like guys who can make me laugh.

Additionally, in order to be backwards compatible with some supposed 'prophecies' in the OT (eg. Isaiah) many Christians believe that he must've been physically unattractive. I like guys who are at least half decent, looks wise.
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Indeed. Sounds like he was a borefest. *yawn*

Besides, I think he had bit of mental retardation. At least it sounds as if he had.
 
Based on the most common depictions I've seen of Jesus I wouldn't sleep with him because I have a cousin who can pull off a pretty convincing Jesus and it would just be creepy.
 
Ha! You know I was joking about this just last night with my boyfriend. If Jesus looks anything like the hot blonde guy with the long hair in the paintings then YES!!! I'm sure it would be heavenly!
 
Palindromos said:
Not that it matters, but the better question is "Would he want to have sex with any of us?" Based on what I understand about him, the answer is probably no.

He probably didn't even have sex with himself.
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Please...the so-called "stigmata" was nothing but a sign of his addiction to masturbation.
 
HAL9000 said:
Do you have to be so bloody offensive?
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I agree. Even though you may not give any importance to Christianity, you do not have to be vile with insulting vulgarities. This is a figure who inspires faith in millions of people, and is held to be holy and sacred. The least you can do is show respect. And don't give me that bullshit, "welcome to JUB, this is what we do, yeah, because we are atheist queers and funny, so we're cool - huh-huh." Don't use you're shallowness as an excuse to be crass. There are plenty of faithful JUBers here, if not religious, and don't appreciate this kind of mocking behavior.
 
crzyrazn said:
I agree. Even though you may not give any importance to Christianity, you do not have to be vile with insulting vulgarities. This is a figure who inspires faith in millions of people, and is held to be holy and sacred. The least you can do is show respect. And don't give me that bullshit, "welcome to JUB, this is what we do, yeah, because we are atheist queers and funny, so we're cool - huh-huh." Don't use you're shallowness as an excuse to be crass. There are plenty of faithful JUBers here, if not religious, and don't appreciate this kind of mocking behavior.
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LOL! Like I give a shit.

It's quite simple...don't like it, don't come into the thread.
 
Well, freedom of speech means that people can start this sort of thread...



and that those people that hold Jesus sacred can spend millions of dollars trying to limit the rights of gay people in this country


funny how those things seem to be unrelated...
 
chatolandia said:
Well, freedom of speech means that people can start this sort of thread...



and that those people that hold Jesus sacred can spend millions of dollars trying to limit the rights of gay people in this country


funny how those things seem to be unrelated...
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Right...because gay people are the only ones who make fun of Jebbus and his posse.
 
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