A Gay Teen kills himself after being outed on the internet!

[Críostóir]

On one hand I'm thrilled that this kid may be punished for his bullying actions that caused Clementi to take his own life. On the other I feel sorry for the kid who never intended for this to be more than a practical joke (albeit a malicious one) who managed to ruin several lives including his own.

That's why we don't do practical jokes. I hope it prevents a lot of other people from trying this kind of stupid shit.

 

[maxpowr9]

On one hand I'm thrilled that this kid may be punished for his bullying actions that caused Clementi to take his own life. On the other I feel sorry for the kid who never intended for this to be more than a practical joke (albeit a malicious one) who managed to ruin several lives including his own.

Stop referring to them as "kids". These are college students and for that fact adults, which is how they will be tried. They are well aware of what they were doing (I haven't heard any insanity or intoxication pleas yet). From what I have read so far, it seems Wei is taking a plea bargain (who may get little to no charges pressed against her) and is basically letting Ravi get roasted.

 

[Críostóir]

Stop referring to them as "kids". These are college students and for that fact adults, which is how they will be tried. They are well aware of what they were doing (I haven't heard any insanity or intoxication pleas yet). From what I have read so far, it seems Wei is taking a plea bargain (who may get little to no charges pressed against her) and is basically letting Ravi get roasted.

I wouldn't be surprised if the only reason she was charged was as leverage to get her to testify against Ravi.

 

[nondescript]

On one hand I'm thrilled that this kid may be punished for his bullying actions that caused Clementi to take his own life. On the other I feel sorry for the kid who never intended for this to be more than a practical joke (albeit a malicious one) who managed to ruin several lives including his own.

He should be tried (and hopefully found guilty), but as for the sentencing, I do hope the judge takes into account his age and lack of maturity... he does sound like an immature, callous asshole, but I doubt he had any idea his actions could result in Tyler's death.

 

[Críostóir]

He should be tried (and hopefully found guilty), but as for the sentencing, I do hope the judge takes into account his age and lack of maturity... he does sound like an immature, callous asshole, but I doubt he had any idea his actions could result in Tyler's death.

I'm definitely torn on this. I'd like to see justice, which requires taking these things into account, as you say; on the other hand, I'd like to see an example made, so that whoever thinks about doing anything like this again will be too scared to go ahead.

 

[Nomenclature]

I'd like to see an example made, so that whoever thinks about doing anything like this again will be too scared to go ahead.

Life doesn't work that way, though; people know what the legal punishments are for committing things like sex crimes, murder, corporate crimes, robbing banks, etc. . .and yet millions of people still do those things. If someone's the type to commit a crime like that, they will do it. The only thing you can do is punish them accordingly. . .you can't stop it from being done.

 

[Críostóir]

Life doesn't work that way, though; people know what the legal punishments are for committing things like sex crimes, murder, corporate crimes, robbing banks, etc. . .and yet millions of people still do those things. If someone's the type to commit a crime like that, they will do it. The only thing you can do is punish them accordingly. . .you can't stop it from being done.

Yeah, you're right. In fact many studies have shown that the severity of the punishment has little effect on crime, because criminals believe they won't get caught. Making sure they GET caught is the key.

 

[Nomenclature]

Yeah, you're right. In fact many studies have shown that the severity of the punishment has little effect on crime

America will never figure that out; we have the highest population in prison of any country in the world, and 25% of all the world's total prisoners.

 

[Ninja108]

Life doesn't work that way, though; people know what the legal punishments are for committing things like sex crimes, murder, corporate crimes, robbing banks, etc. . .and yet millions of people still do those things. If someone's the type to commit a crime like that, they will do it. The only thing you can do is punish them accordingly. . .you can't stop it from being done.

Indeed, while there should be strict punishments (especially for those who need to be locked up as long as possible),whenever you hear the sending a message speech, be assured that it's mostly BS.
Many crimes are committed by people who don't think they will get caught or in the heat of the moment. Crime drops in a lot of areas because some of the people committing them are locked up, not because of harsh laws.

 

[Críostóir]

I don't know, Nomenclature; many are convinced that our high rate of incarceration is one of the reasons our crime rate has dropped so dramatically since the 70s and 80s. It is hard for people your age to understand it, but the crime rates in those days were so bad, that living in a big city, such as NYC, was like being in a war zone.

Punishment for crime doesn't have to be a deterrent, necessarily, it can also be prophylactic; I am one of those who believes that it is.

I don't know what you mean by a prophylactic as opposed to a deterrent. Could you unpack that for me?

People who study such things say that the drop in the crime rate is mostly due to the Baby Boomers aging out of the crime-prone bracket.

 

[Críostóir]

I think Freakanomics is interesting, but some of their conclusions have been debunked. Honestly I can't remember whether this was one of them.

A deterrent is something that makes someone reluctant to do a particular thing. It deters them from doing it. So are you saying that, rather than making people less inclined to crime beforehand, locking them up just means they physically can't commit crimes?

There's a certain sense in that. The problem with it is that the only way to prevent ALL crime is by locking up literally everyone, as Barney Fife did. I think our incarceration rate is already too Fifeish. Other countries with much lower incarceration rates don't have much higher crime rates. We need to figure out what they're doing and emulate it.

 

[rearadmiral]

I never been bullied. Killing himself for the sake of bully is stupid yet I know it's humanly hard not to do that.

What I sense why Tyler so devastated about his reputation is because he's not having tough mentality to begin with. The bully victim usually has weak mental state of mind, easily swayed in a sense of normalcy like...everyone of us knows our sense of normalcy/stability right? Well, bully victims usually unsure for themselves, they're like a walking fragile thing that easily break with any kind of force. When someone hit their so many vulnerable spots, they will cracking and fall apart.

Bully victim usually has defiant sense of childhood vs. public personality. Their family might dysfunctional or not embracing society very well and make them feeling like fish out of water most of time.

The sense not belonging, not accepted, not knowing to present him/herself in outside world, those things make someone easily led to be a victim.

I though society is harsh, vulgar and aggresive. When you have/adopt a child, don't be like an old genre in 50's when you label all boys must be an atta boys. Notice your child development, don't alienate him/her from outside world whether you are overly protective/whatnot. If your child shows symptomps of bullying, don't just caressing but act! All bullies around preschool are the same and not too difficult to handle but when your child hit highschool/middle school, it start getting complicated because the new generation has their own system hierarchy. We didn't have online bullying as much as today, it must be pretty new stuff for today's parents!

But that doesn't stop you to handle bullying case. Don't be an outsider and use old tricks to save your child. Be alert and adept to new possibilities and style of bullying.

While it is true that some people unintentionally make themselves targets of bullying, I think you are overlooking a couple of points.

1. Victims of bullying need and deserve support against bullies, not being told -- implicitly or explicitly -- "You brought this on yourself", which just adds to their low self-esteem. Developing the self-knowledge not to unconsciously bring about what one consciously wishes to avoid is a lifelong journey for many people, not just victims of bullying.

2. All too many of us reading here will have experienced various degrees of unpleasantness because of being gay: coldness, rejection, offensive remarks, abuse, physical attacks, legal discrimination and persecution. Anyone growing up realising he is gay knows that this has happened, and still happens, to gay men and could sooner or later happen -- to whatever extent -- to him, and one inevitably prepares oneself mentally for the possibility of this.

However, what happened to Tyler was unforeseeable and unprecedented. There was no way in which he could have foreseen this and prepared himself for dealing with it. Suggestions that he was too weak to handle what happened are therefore -- even if unintentionally -- unfounded, inaccurate and, to put it at its mildest, grossly unfair to his memory, though I appreciate this wasn't your intention.

As far as I know, there is no previous case of someone being filmed without his knowledge on a webcam and finding his private sexual act broadcast on the internet, bad enough in any circumstances, but far worse for a sensitive young gay man trying to find love and pleasure and instead finding himself the object of ridicule in his dorm and outed to an extent and in a manner far beyond his worst fears. Let anyone else who has dealt more successfully with the same situation step forward and tell us how. But, of course, if I may mention a minor detail, there isn't anyone else.

I'm an agnostic, but if there's some existence after earthly death, I hope you found peace in it, Tyler. I wish I could have helped you.

 

[Críostóir]

I think maybe part of the answer is to get rid of the word 'bullying'. It tends to minimize what's going on. People behave just as if bullying and/or being bullied was "a normal part of growing up."

We should instead use terms like 'intimidation', 'harrassment', and 'assault'. These are crimes if adults do them to each other, and they're crimes if kids do them to each other. I'm all for different treatment of juvenile criminals, but let's acknowledge that that's what bullies are: criminals.

 

[JUB]

Please take some time to remember Tyler Clementi. It has been over a year since his death. RIP Tyler.

If you are following the case here is the latest...
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20517780,00.html

 

[StlKj]

Thank you, Mark. It's hard to believe it's been that long already.

 

[yeahright1991]

I think it is a good thing to remember him and his plight...I first heard about it in my first class of my Fall semester last year.

He jumped (that sounds so wrong)... on 22 September 2010. Is there anything JUB can organize for that day/ would anyone be interested?

 

[JUB]

I think it is a good thing to remember him and his plight...I first heard about it in my first class of my Fall semester last year.

He jumped (that sounds so wrong)... on 22 September 2010. Is there anything JUB can organize for that day/ would anyone be interested?

Sorry I have my months messed up. I was definitely wanting to do something for him and was upset because I thought I missed it. I would definitely like to do something on JUB to remember him.

 

[mbamike]

Oh, believe me! I have not forgotten about Tyler!

 

[star-warrior]

I doubt anyone here will likely forget, ever. Nor the other young people who died around that time and since. If anything, it raised a great awareness of the plight of youngsters in a bad situation, and for them to know that it gets better. Keeping the latter as a reminder to them and everyone is what we need to keep doing.

 

[Yaoilover921]

that is just awful! god bless that kid....