Why is it a red flag? Because it doesn't meet your expectations for what each age group should be thinking or doing? It seems you've attached preconceptions. If you met a guy you really like, would you suddenly turn him down if you realize you had a huge brain fart and he's actually 22? IMO, that would not be dating a guy, but rather dating an age.
No, I wouldn't turn a guy down solely based on his age. However, it just always seems to work out that way based on a combination of what I want. Again, these are just my personal preferences and it's based on my experiences, my friend's experiences, and what I've observed. I've met about 6-8 guys in the past 6 months all in this 19-22 age range that are interested in dating me and none are even close to what I'm looking for despite all being nice, attractive men. None of them are settled, none of them have reached a point of emotional maturity and experience I look for, none of them are ready to give up their priority of enjoying themselves, partying etc. Now they're all "mature for my age" and nice guys, but they aren't for me and it would have never worked out. It's not all because of their age obviously but it has a lot to do with it and i"m sure they would have been much more attractive options to me several years down the road.
To avoid going in circles I'll just respond to this part.
Don't you think that, regardless of their age, it's a little unfair to hold a person's inexperience against them? Why are we to assume that because a person doesn't have much experience when it comes to relationships that they're going to be too much of a hassle to get involved with? What kinds of things do you imagine an inexperienced person doing in a relationship that somebody with more experience wouldn't (or vice versa)? Why do you seem to think you'd have to train somebody on how to love if they'd never been in a serious relationship before?
It honestly feels more like you're hiring a new employee, not searching for somebody to share your life with.
People don't need 5 years of experience to be worthy of your love.
Because no one jumps into dating knowing all the ins and outs of a relationship. There's a reason the first one rarely works. There are very basic things we learn about being with another person. There is also the fact that we still have yet to learn what we really want out of one because we have yet to experience it. Some people can hit a home run the first time they get a pitch but it's very rare for a reason.
I'd prefer someone who has browsed around, had his share of successes and mistakes, joys and pains and is ready for something serious but seamless. Would you entrust your car to a mechanic who has never worked on one? Would you get heart surgery by a doctor who has studied it but has never worked in an operating room?
I have a friend who is madly in love with someone he has been together with for 2 years. However, the things he has put up with as his bf learns how to live with someone else, how to always consider someone else, how to communicate feelings, emotions, etc. is something I would have avoided altogether. Emphasis on "I" because this is a personal preference.
Just to clarify, I don't immediately run for the hills as soon as I hear someone's age or their lack of experience. I ask questions, I poke around until my suspicions are confirmed or debunked and so far, I've always been right on the money. I wouldn't mind being proved wrong though.
