Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Men?

[sunoftheskye]

I've noticed that a lot of straight guys will treat me differently because I'm gay. Sometimes they're just awkward, like they don't know how to communicate with me, others will treat me like I'm a woman. At work they'll let me off the elevator first, hold open the door for me, etc., and they don't do the same for the other straight guys that work there. Also I had a roommate last year who was straight, and he definitely didn't treat me like his other straight guy friends. I don't know how exactly to describe it but...he just treated me a lot more...delicate. He was very overly protective and defensive of me--sweet--but I'm like twice his height and weight, lol. It's not necessarily a problem per se. Just an observation.

 

[2243]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Yes, I know what you're talking about. Not a-lot of people know about me, but the very few straight guys who do know change their attitudes and behavior around me. I have also noticed that at times they will treat me like anyone else if we are in a crowd or with anyone else who knows about me, but if we are alone they change again. I can't be sure that it's all just because I'm gay though. There is also the possibility that they just act different with everyone.

 

[swerve]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

I DO THINK that is SO SWEET!!!

I've NEVER been treated differently...

according to MY perception anyways...

I LOVE the holding the elevator door open thing...

that kind of made my HEART melt a little bit...

I'm glad you have such GREAT STRAIGHT friends!!!

 

[2243]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

I DO THINK that is SO SWEET!!!

I've NEVER been treated differently...

according to MY perception anyways...

I LOVE the holding the elevator door open thing...

that kind of made my HEART melt a little bit...

I'm glad you have such GREAT STRAIGHT friends!!!

It is kind of cute or sweet, but it's more humorous to me. Especially when at times you are physically overbearing in comparison. Like sonoftheskye said, it's not a problem per se, but it can lead to feelings of isolation, at least in my experience.

 

[Sunshine]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Straight men are non existent in my world. Women and Homo's.

It's like...wherever I am....they're not. I love it.

 

[LatinoSTAR]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

hehe. wow. i never had a str8 guy treat me like that!

 

[-Lance-]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Gay guys treat straight guys differently too.

I open the door for anyone who is behind me, man or woman. That's how i was raised.

 

[sunoftheskye]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Gay guys treat straight guys differently too.

I open the door for anyone who is behind me, man or woman. That's how i was raised.

I do the same, but I've noticed they don't.

 

[gazzax2]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

do you treat straight guys differently coz they r straight and not gay?

 

[sunoftheskye]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

do you treat straight guys differently coz they r straight and not gay?

Differently from what?

 

[CGHJ]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

I think its nice we've progressed to the point where the issue is that straight guys hold the door open for gay guys. Instead of say pushing them down stairs like they used to do.

I've noticed that straight guys act differently around me...they try to pick me up

 

[Telstra]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

I've noticed that a lot of straight guys will treat me differently because I'm gay. Sometimes they're just awkward, like they don't know how to communicate with me, others will treat me like I'm a woman. At work they'll let me off the elevator first, hold open the door for me, etc., and they don't do the same for the other straight guys that work there. Also I had a roommate last year who was straight, and he definitely didn't treat me like his other straight guy friends. I don't know how exactly to describe it but...he just treated me a lot more...delicate. He was very overly protective and defensive of me--sweet--but I'm like twice his height and weight, lol. It's not necessarily a problem per se. Just an observation.

perhaps they thought that you are really a woman and thats a bonus.

 

[versatastic]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Like others who have posted, my straight friends who are real friends don't treat me differently than they do other straight guys. However, some straight guys do treat me differently when they find out I'm gay. You can see it in their eyes first. It's subtle but noticible. It's sad when they can't get past the fact that I'm gay and we can't be good friends. I'm lucky that that's the worst I've experienced in my life. I'm sure I would have gotten far worse if I was out in high school or in the dorms as an undergrad.

 

[Wookie]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

The only experience I've had with straight guys acting differently is they seem to fall all over themselves to make it seem like they don't have a problem with it. When I told this 50ish, conservative guy I talk to at the park all the time, he started shaking my hand when he hadn't before, throwing toys for my dog and always telling me that he isn't a caveman.

My best friend is a straight fireman, and he is cool with me being gay, but I notice that I never get invited to nights out with the guys from the firehouse. I know the atmosphere at places like that, and I am somewhat ok not receiving invitations to poker night. It's the fact that I know it stays in the front of his mind that I am gay, and not that I love playing poker and knocking back some beers with the guys.

 

[wanky_window]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

I fixed a fridge with my brother-in-law, i told him i'm gay and he locked me in it and threw it off a cliff! How do i counter this homophobia?

I found my way home because a farmer (who happened to be gay) drove me home on his tractor

Then my brother-in-law threw the tractor off a cliff!

It just fucks me off.

 

[hermanding]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

i agree this happens and i think it is involved many times with an insecurity within the straights that do this. they are not sure what to expect - possibly even from themselves
ding

 

[BlueLantern]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

I actually jealous that you can say nice stuff like that.

It may be something to do with trying not looking homophobic. You know how sometimes people try not to look racist around another races and stuff? Same thing.

I fixed a fridge with my brother-in-law, i told him i'm gay and he locked me in it and threw it off a cliff! How do i counter this homophobia?

I found my way home because a farmer (who happened to be gay) drove me home on his tractor

Then my brother-in-law threw the tractor off a cliff!

It just fucks me off.

What "Threw off a cliff" means?

 

[davy]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

they're not treating you differently because you're gay, they're treating you differently because that's how you've consciously/unconsciously taught them to treat you.

 

[sunoftheskye]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

they're not treating you differently because you're gay, they're treating you differently because that's how you've consciously/unconsciously taught them to treat you.

How do you figure?

Especially when this is including people who I barely speak to.

 

[Soopafly]

Re: Anyone Else Have This Problem With Straight Me

Yeah.

I do notice the difference, but unlike some who are bothered by it, I don't mind. As long as they treat me with respect then we're cool. It could be worse.