Ask the Undertaker!!

[star-warrior]

Originally Posted by Shepherd 2
What is the strangest thing you have seen with a corpse?
Shep+

Two erections. And then he started peeing.

Yours and his?

Or did he have two penises?

 

[dexyboi86]

Since dexyboi so politely invited input from other funerians, I'll throw in my answers too...since my experience is different, my answers are a little different, but...
dexyboi and I are 10 hours apart and things are different between us. It's a fast changing business too...

I was going to point that out. Every embalmer is different. C said noting wrong, and I assume I said nothing wrong either. Location, time in the business, school attended,and a lot of other factors give subtle differences.

Alright - here's a quiz question: Anybody know the difference between a coffin and a casket?

I do! I do! But it wouldn't be right of me to answer.

 

[dexyboi86]

Yours and his?

Or did he have two penises?

He got one, it went down, then it popped back up.

 

[justjw]

You talk about “embalming”: is that the “embalming” like taking out the intestines, and replacing the blood with formaldehyde? Is that common practice in the US?
(Embalming as such is forbidden by law here in Holland, unless you’re (or “you wére”, rather…) a member of the Royal Family, or a high-ranking member of Church, and your body is not buried but “interred” (is that the right word?) in a vault)

Also: is there a “time-limit” between the time of death and when the burial hás to take place, in the US? Here it’s 5 calendar-days, and only in very special circumstances, like when my mother died and her granddaughter had an important school-exam on that 5th day, will an exemption to that rule be granted. (=The burial was on the sixth day)

Are there rules in the US on what to place on a grave, as in gravestones or memorials?
Here they’re not allowed above a certain height e.g., and also “banding” around the grave needs special permission.

Gosh, I have só much more to ask! You all have one heck of an interesting job, that’s for sure!

 

[star-warrior]

He got one, it went down, then it popped back up.

He must've liked the cotton packing you gave his butt

Did it surprise you, and did you check for a pulse? I heard there was a recent case of an accident victim who was accidentally sent to a morgue and was found to be still alive when the coroner began cutting and seeing it bleed. It was in south America I think...

 

[Shepherd 2]

What are the three most important questions for a family of a dead person to ask a funeral director?
Shep+

 

[dexyboi86]

You talk about “embalming”: is that the “embalming” like taking out the intestines, and replacing the blood with formaldehyde? Is that common practice in the US?...

...your body is not buried but “interred” (is that the right word?) in a vault)

...s there a “time-limit” between the time of death and when the burial hás to take place, in the US?

Are there rules in the US on what to place on a grave, as in gravestones or memorials?...

Embalming, common practice in the US when the body will be 'laid out' and viewed, is the disinfection, preservation, and restoration of a deceased human body.

Most of the blood is replaced with a solution containing formaldehyde. The intestines are not removed, although they are treated in a seperate, yet slightly 'gross' procedure that I will not post in public. PM me if you wana know.

"Interred", form the roots "In", meaning 'in', and "terra", meaning 'earth'. Interment = burial.

The burial should happen as soon as possible, but no legal dictums.

What you can or cannot place on graves? All dictated by the cemetery. Things such as "no flowers laying on the ground" are purely for upkeep (like mowing the grass).

Did it surprise you, and did you check for a pulse?...found to be still alive when the coroner began cutting and seeing it bleed.

I had already cut into him and was injecting fluid. He did not bleed when I made my incision, so he was in fact truly dead. I had my injection pressure set too high, thus the erections.

What are the three most important questions for a family of a dead person to ask a funeral director?
Shep+

Oh, wow. I am not sure how to answer this one.
C, or any other FD, I give this one to you.
Sorry Shep...good question, just too good for me.

 

[justsimon]

When I was a kid (11) my class took a field trip to the local funeral home (yes, I went to a weird school). If you were asked to host a field trip, would you agree to do it?

Also, the mortician we met used small rubber balls (pink) in place of the person's eyes, if they'd been donated. Do you do that?

 

[1gayguy]

How does one become a funeral director? Or director's assistant?

 

[dexyboi86]

If you were asked to host a field trip, would you agree to do it?...

...[T]he mortician we met used small rubber balls (pink) in place of the person's eyes, if they'd been donated. Do you do that?

I would agree to do a field trip. In fact, my funeral home has done them before.

We do not show/take them in the prep (embalming) room. Depnding on the age group, we change how we answer certain sensitive questions.

There are different things done to the eyes, and it does depend on if they have been donated or not. But basically, the espace that they eye occupied must be filled. One can use anything from cotton to something along the lines of those small balls you speak of.

Regular eyes are, at least everywhere I work, covered with an "eye cap". Imagine a big plastic contact lens with bumps on it. It maintains shape, andthe bumps keep the lid closed.

How does one become a funeral director? Or director's assistant?

A lot depends on the state. (I must assume you are in the USA, otherwise I do not know.)
To be a licensed Funeral Director:
You need to attend mortuary school. After graduation, take the National Boards. After that, you will most likely serve an apprenticeship of about 1 year, after which you take state boards.
To be a director's assistant:
Nothing needed. I did this before mortuary school, just as a 'part time summer job'. I was technically general labor, but I assited the directors in an unofficial capacity.

 

[seven_sins]

What fraction of your service is cremation? Are the number of cremations increasing? It seems to me to be the cleanest way to go.

How are the crematories certified? We had one in Georgia not long ago that was returning dirt for ashes. Many bodies were piled in a shed. I hope other states have better standards than the one I live in.

 

[dexyboi86]

What fraction of your service is cremation? Are the number of cremations increasing? It seems to me to be the cleanest way to go.

How are the crematories certified? We had one in Georgia not long ago that was returning dirt for ashes. Many bodies were piled in a shed. I hope other states have better standards than the one I live in.

CANA (Cremation Association of North America) just released new numbers...US cremation rate is 32 or 33%. Cleanest? Maybe...depends on your particular environmental niche.

Tri State Crematory...ugh. All states have strict rules about crematory operation, and the TSC fiasco tightened them. I need to tell you that the operator was not a Funeral Director, and had no proper training or authorization to be operating a crematory. He slipped under the radar, and we now make sure that does not happen.

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

ok

since you spent your days with dead people

Are you scarced to die?

 

[dexyboi86]

...Are you scarced to die?

Absolutely not.

At first, it made me a little depressed considering my own mortality.

But now, I have become used to death. We all die. It happens. Live so that your funeral is a time of celebration.

I see some services where the family and friends gather and just cry...then some they gather and tell all of the good times that they had. I want that.

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

why do the caskets cost so much?

i bought me mom a last supper one
the one she wanted

and it was almost 10 thousand dollars

are you guys taking advantage of our grief?

 

[dexyboi86]

why do the caskets cost so much?

i bought me mom a last supper one
the one she wanted

and it was almost 10 thousand dollars

are you guys taking advantage of our grief?

We (good) funeral directors do not take advantage of you. However, caskets are expensive, especially if you get special ones. "Last Supper" one sounds like a special order. Same principle of buying a custom tailored suit or an off the rack suit.

Yes, we mark them up. But we are a business. We have to make a profit, and to be honest, we actually lose money on some parts of funerals.

At the two firms I have worked for, the markup is on a sliding scale. I am not gonna tell you exactly what it is, but it is not unreasonable. And you just have to trust me. Why would I lie to you?

 

[Rule-Of-Thirds]

Hope you don't mind but I have several more questions for you, Dexyboi...

1. Is there a time frame when embalming is most effective? Is it more of a challenge for you when a body is shown for multiple days instead of one?

2. I'm assuming that there's some sort of contraption that helps you lift the bodies from your table into the casket. Is that the case?

3. What is the most challenging aspect of your job?

4. Do you have an ideal image (besides what you mentioned earlier about people celebrating your life) of how you would like your wake/ funeral to be?

5. Sometime last year there was a news story about how a company in Sweeden freeze dries bodies, dips them into nitrogen, slowly pulverizes them and puts the remains in a bio-degradable box. Do you know if a service like that is offered in the US? I have yet to find anything.

6. What would you recommend for anyone interested in being as "green" as possible with their body once deceased?

7. Is it common for a lot of people to pre-pay for their funeral arrangements?

 

[star-warrior]

When you use embalming fluid, do you bleed the corpse first? I recall seeing my dad afterwards in the coffin, and he looked kinda swollen.

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

You had to know it would come up eventually, dex.

But, then, I suppose, there’d be nothing for the next-o-kin to [strike]brag[/strike] complain about, would there?

.

i asked a question
and he answered it

what's it to you?

 

[PreTTy PeTe]

anyway

how do accommodate people who ask for green burials???