Ask the Undertaker!!

[dynk]

When my mom died, an autopsy was performed. When I saw her in the Casket, I noticed her breasts were half the size. They had even stuffed her to look what they thought would be normal. Was that because of the autopsy?

 

[justjw]

Alright - here's a quiz question: Anybody know the difference between a coffin and a casket?

I seem to notice this question has not been answered yet?!

My guess would be a "coffin" is the tapered one, and a "casket" is straightsided ? (If that makes any sense at all, I'm not só fluent in "funerary English", só sorry.... )

What's the "timeline" of a burial in the US? As in "what happens when"?
Here in Holland burials, at least the ones I've been to, sort of follow these lines:
-Assemble in church, or funeral home
-Have church-service, or speeches etc
-Go to cemetary, in procession. If it's walkable everyone walks behind the hearse, except the direct relatives who'll be in cars. Otherwise in a procession of cars.
-Have ceremony/speeches at the grave
-Lower the coffin into the grave (followed sometimes by throwing a handfull of earth onto the coffin by everyone attending)
-Go back to funeral home/community centre for coffee and cake, or sometimes a whole brunch, and meet up with relatives you haven't seen for ages, renew old friendships, talk and chat, and generally be merry (Our way of saying "Life goes on")

 

[dexyboi86]

Just quoting three at a time. Forgive me, I might get lazy and do a bit of color typing in the quote boxes.

1. Is there a time frame when embalming is most effective? Is it more of a challenge for you when a body is shown for multiple days instead of one?

Embalming is best done ASAP. Refigeration helps and hurts. 1-24 hours gets a bit scary for me at least.
Embalming is (textbook) supposed to be good for 3-5 days. Longer time frames than that? We just have to use stronger fluids and such.

2. I'm assuming that there's some sort of contraption that helps you lift the bodies from your table into the casket. Is that the case?

Sometimes we just lift the bodies by hand. But there are two main types of devices. One is ceiling mounted, and the other looks like an engine jack, for you car officianados. Google "mortuary lift".

3. What is the most challenging aspect of your job?

People younger than me, and tragic deaths. And telling families that the body is too decomposed to view. There is a point of no return.

4. Do you have an ideal image (besides what you mentioned earlier about people celebrating your life) of how you would like your wake/ funeral to be?

Full traditional viewing and funeral, in a white full couch casket with white lining. And I want to be in a black suit with a white shirt and sliver tie. Indigo blue floral spray, mounted above the casket.
I am not gonna say 'don't cry for me'. Cry that you have lost me, then gather and tell about all of the good times we had.

5. Sometime last year there was a news story about how a company in Sweeden freeze dries bodies, dips them into nitrogen, slowly pulverizes them and puts the remains in a bio-degradable box. Do you know if a service like that is offered in the US? I have yet to find anything.

Never heard of this...I will check into it.

6. What would you recommend for anyone interested in being as "green" as possible with their body once deceased?

Donation or a Green Funeral.
Green funeral...they vary, but the ultimate would be shrouded in a natural fiber cloth and buried. Only certain places allow this. I could elaborate more, but I could go on and on.

7. Is it common for a lot of people to pre-pay for their funeral arrangements?

Common? Not totally. But recommended? Yes. At least have a trust ro insurance ready for your final expenses. Pre-arranged and pre-funded is the way to go. Seriously.

When you use embalming fluid, do you bleed the corpse first? I recall seeing my dad afterwards in the coffin, and he looked kinda swollen.

As the embalming fluid goes in, the blood is pushed out. Embalming can cause swelling due to blockages, embalmer mistakes, or simple human error. May I ask the cause of death and his general health before death?

What's the weirdest request that someone has asked you to do on a body? Did you do it?

He came into the world naked, he wanted to go out naked. So we stripped him naked after the family was out and before we went to the cemetery.

Do people ever ask you to embalm/cremate their pets?

Cremate, yes. This is a quickly growing branch of our business. Let's face it...some pets are just as close as family!

 

[dexyboi86]

how do accommodate people who ask for green burials???

See above!

When my mom died, an autopsy was performed. When I saw her in the Casket, I noticed her breasts were half the size. They had even stuffed her to look what they thought would be normal. Was that because of the autopsy?

I don't think they would have removed any breast tissue. Jut guessing, but they may have...overstuffed or poorly formed the abdomen, making the breasts look smaller. It could also be a classic case of 'smaller boobs when laying down'.

My guess would be a "coffin" is the tapered one, and a "casket" is straight sided ? (If that makes any sense at all, I'm not só fluent in "funerary English", só sorry.... )

Bingo. A coffin is 'anthropoidal' in shape...diamond-like. A casket is rectangular.

What's the "timeline" of a burial in the US? As in "what happens when"?
Here in Holland burials, at least the ones I've been to, sort of follow these lines:
-Assemble in church, or funeral home
-Have church-service, or speeches etc
-Go to cemetary, in procession. If it's walkable everyone walks behind the hearse, except the direct relatives who'll be in cars. Otherwise in a procession of cars.
-Have ceremony/speeches at the grave
-Lower the coffin into the grave (followed sometimes by throwing a handfull of earth onto the coffin by everyone attending)
-Go back to funeral home/community centre for coffee and cake, or sometimes a whole brunch, and meet up with relatives you haven't seen for ages, renew old friendships, talk and chat, and generally be merry (Our way of saying "Life goes on")

Not too different here. Let me give you a 'cookie cutter funeral'.
-Family and friends gather at the FH or church and socialize and view the body.
-Churchy-type service, sometimes with family and friends eulogizing.
-Procession to the cemetery, same as you.
-Graveside...final words of comfort, family and friends leave, often going to a reception of sorts. Then we/ the cemeterians lower the casket and fill the grave.

 

[dexyboi86]

What? No more questions?

 

[star-warrior]

As the embalming fluid goes in, the blood is pushed out. Embalming can cause swelling due to blockages, embalmer mistakes, or simple human error. May I ask the cause of death and his general health before death?

My dad died of kidney failure. I was there with my brother at his bed side, shortly after he was given morphine to ease his pain. He looked fine when he died, after the nurses had removed the tubes and canulas, he as still, but wasn't swollen.

My dad had an artificial leg and dentures. Do you have problems with riga mortis when placing false teeth back in, and, redressing an heavy stiff inanimate body?

 

[cocktales]

Say, DB, this is a very, very interesting thread you have going here...

You asked if we knew the difference between the casket and the vault?

Well, I believe the casket is the pretty box you put the body in for the public to view/on display in the funeral home/church.......

.......and, the vault is the concret (usually) container the casket is lowered into and then the top of the vault is "sealed" to prevent any water from penetrating into the casket area.

Is my definition correct or do I need some more Funeral Director 101 training? lol

Thanks for allowing us to enter the scary/shadowy world of the Funeral Director!

 

[dexyboi86]

Do you ever play checkers with the trocar buttons?

Not yet...
*makes note on 'things-to-do' list*

My dad died of kidney failure...but wasn't swollen.

My dad had an artificial leg and dentures. Do you have problems with riga mortis when placing false teeth back in, and, redressing an heavy stiff inanimate body?

Kidney failure...I woudl say that probably did it. Kidney failure means lots of nitrogenous waste in the body...stuff like ammonia-like compounds. Nitrogenous compunds 'deactivate' formaldehyde, so the preservative demand would have been increased. They probably used a LOT of fluid, and either put in a tad too much or it didn't drain out like it should.

Rigor mortis...we 'break' it before we embalm...basically bend the arms and legs and such to loosen the stiff muscles. So it is not a problem.

Dressing? Not hard at all. We have our methods and tricks, the most common of which is cutting the clothes.

You asked if we knew the difference between the casket and the vault?

Well, I believe the casket is the pretty box you put the body in for the public to view/on display in the funeral home/church.......

.......and, the vault is the concret (usually) container the casket is lowered into and then the top of the vault is "sealed" to prevent any water from penetrating into the casket area.

I asked the difference between a casket and a coffin.

But you are correct on the casket vs. vault (better referred to as an 'outer burial container').

Outer burial containers are made of any material strong enough to support the weight of the soil and any cemetery equipment (backhoes and lawnmowers) above it and offer some protection to the casket. Concrete, plastic, and metal are the most common.

There are a number of sealing types on a vault, if it seals at all. They can be a box with a lid placed on it, or it can be a base with a box placed on top of it. I will entertain more specific questions if you have them.

Keep 'em coming, boys!!!!

 

[star-warrior]

Kidney failure...I woudl say that probably did it. Kidney failure means lots of nitrogenous waste in the body...stuff like ammonia-like compounds. Nitrogenous compunds 'deactivate' formaldehyde, so the preservative demand would have been increased. They probably used a LOT of fluid, and either put in a tad too much or it didn't drain out like it should.

Thank you, your answer to this is very much appreciated. I've been wondering for the last eight years, now I know. A little piece of wondrin has finally been put to rest.

A great thread.

 

[herenthere]

On the average...How long does it take to embalm and prepare a body for viewing?
Do you do the hair and make-up? or does a cosmotoligist?

 

[dexyboi86]

...A little piece of wondrin has finally been put to rest.

I just honsetly had a little tear come to my eye. This type of thing makes me proud to do what I do. If I can help just one person, it has been worth it all.

On the average...How long does it take to embalm and prepare a body for viewing?
Do you do the hair and make-up? or does a cosmotoligist?

For me:
Embalming...2 hours
Hair...20 minutes
Make-up...15-30 minutes, depending on the extent of it

I can do the hair and makeup. If the family wants the deceased's hairdresser to do it, we let them. Same for the makeup, though I have to do facial restoration (if necessary) before the makeup.

 

[Great Big C]

Do you ever play checkers with the trocar buttons?

hmmm...methinks that you may have prep room experience. Not many people outside of embalmers know what a trocar is, much less a trocar button.



justjw - you are correct. A coffin has 6 sides (think Dracula). They are sometimes referred to as "toe-pinchers" because of their shape. A casket is 4 sided.

 

[Great Big C]

Are you well paid?

This is dexyboi's thread, so I'll leave it to him, but I just had to answer this one.

Not nearly well enough! It's a misperception that Funeral Directors make loads of money...not really true. Most make a reasonable professional salary, but given the hours (remember, we get called out of bed regularly to make removals, we work holidays, we work weekends....) and some of the hazards and issues we face, it's not a lot. For most of us, it's a calling, or like me, a family business. The rewards are many, in spite of not being the best paying job in the world.

I've been in the business for going on 20 years, starting out as a funeral attendant and flower-runner / car washer in my family's funeral homes. The pay has increased over the last few years, and despite how much some people hate corporately owned funeral homes, they were a big part of why. But nobody's in this business to get rich, and if they are, they'll fail. It's all about taking care of people.

And yes, I have embalmed one famous person, and served that family as their funeral director as well.

If anybody's around Vegas, you'll be inundated with funeral directors next week. The National Funeral Director's Association convention will be out there next week. Maybe I'll see you there.

 

[dexyboi86]

Any precautions when handling someone with Aids or other diseases?

Nothing special, because I treat every case as if they have somethingthat could kill me.

Are the chemicals you use very toxic?

Definately irritating. Legally, we must say that the stuff I work with is a 'possible carcinogen'.

We take great precautions to protect ourselves, and the exposure (if any) that you would get viewing or touching a body is not enough that anyone (including OSHA) worries.

And are there any precautions you take to protect yourself from these chemicals?

I don't always wear full gear (shame on me). But standard 'full PPE" is the following:

Hair Cover
Goggles
Mask
Heavy gloves
Fluid-impervious body covering
Shoe covers

Have you embalmed anyone famous or well known?

I cannot and will not answer that question. Professionalism issues.

Are you well paid?

C said it best. Read his post.
Nooe gets into this business for the salary. We make a reasonable salary. But what I do makes it worth it to me.

More, more, more! I am loving this!

 

[dexyboi86]

...If anybody's around Vegas, you'll be inundated with funeral directors next week. The National Funeral Director's Association convention will be out there next week. Maybe I'll see you there.

Oh, how I wish I could go!!!!!!

C, you will understand this...I got MetaSyn Regular in my eye the other day. Fun times!

 

[justjw]

Flicked through the thread, and I don't think this has been asked before (If it has : my bad, sorry!)

Has the series "Six feet under" changed in any significant way how people regard you?
Where you were the "Black crow" before, are you're now the coolest kid in town (and every guy wants to date you)?
Okay, I'm pulling it into extremes here, but I'm sure you get the gist.

Series like "Forensic Detective" lead to an upsurge in students in Forensics, has a similar thing happened because of the series "Six Foot Under"? (I'm not in the US, so have no way of knowing)

 

[dexyboi86]

...Has the series "Six feet under" changed in any significant way how people regard you?
Where you were the "Black crow" before, are you're now the coolest kid in town (and every guy wants to date you)?

Six Feet Under and Family Plots has opened up the dialogue between the public and members of my profession. People were curious,but they didn't know where to start/what to ask.

Just like this thread. We started slow, and then the domino effect. The answer to one questioned opened up a new area to be discovered.

I was never the black crow. In fact, people said "that's gross...but very cool" and then the questions started.

Every guy does not want to date me. Every girl does not want to date me. Gah, I can't even get random play. I am not your typical "handsome guy". Kinda like a 21 year old chubby bear.
*looks around to see if that gave anyone a boner*
"Hey, you over there...the guy with the boner...PM me!"

 

[herenthere]

I'm just curious...

Do you find that families that have a strong "religious" or "faith" base...
deal with death easier than the non-believers?

 

[dexyboi86]

I'm just curious...

Do you find that families that have a strong "religious" or "faith" base...
deal with death easier than the non-believers?

This one is totally from my own experience. C, I would love to get your observaions too.

Absolutely, but not for the reason you think.

Some people do say *begins southern accent* Oh, Momma is with Jeezus, hal-ay-loo-ya! *end southern accent* But not too many.

People who have some sort of religious or faith base tend to see death as something that is going to happen, and it is just a stepping stone. There is something more, and it is part of a 'plan'. Me for example, I believe in the traditional Judeo-Christian idea of Heaven. I feel in my heart that I will get to see my great-grandmother again. Thus I had a little comfort during her funeral.

The non-religious people, or maybe more accurately people who believe that death is THE end tend to have a little more trouble dealing. When the casket closes, that's it. They are just gone.

I remind you that we will not argue or discuss 'afterlife' beliefs here. Not the purpose. I just stated mine for clarification.

 

[Great Big C]

Oh, how I wish I could go!!!!!!

C, you will understand this...I got MetaSyn Regular in my eye the other day. Fun times!

C'mon with us - we'll have a big time!

Ooh! Sorry about the MetaSyn 35 in the eye. I bet that took the fun out of the day...but now you know first hand why a face shield is universal precaution (and why there's an eye wash station in your prep room). Tell your Dodge rep, and threaten to sue.

(Remind me to tell you one day about my apprentice spraying me with fluid right after aspirating...he knows all about switch positions now! In fact, I'd say he's an expert on switch positions!)