Ask the Undertaker!!

[bigblock]

Dexyboy86 or Great Big C

Have you ever had anyone to use their own hearse for the service? Provided mine is fully (or mostly) restored at the time I go, I wish mine to be used. Hopefully by then I'll have a matching Fleetwood 75 as the lead car. A boy can dream, can't he?

Also: I've noticed in several high-profile funerals (i.e. Rosa Parks) that there is more than one hearse in the procession. What's that all about?

 

[Great Big C]

Dexyboy86 or Great Big C

Have you ever had anyone to use their own hearse for the service? Provided mine is fully (or mostly) restored at the time I go, I wish mine to be used. Hopefully by then I'll have a matching Fleetwood 75 as the lead car. A boy can dream, can't he?

Also: I've noticed in several high-profile funerals (i.e. Rosa Parks) that there is more than one hearse in the procession. What's that all about?

This thread continues to rock - great job! I've been away at the National Funeral Directors Association convention.

Yep - your own hearse or funeral coach should not present a problem - I have worked services with horse-drawn casons and motorcycle hearses, too. We believe in doing everything possible to help your loved ones memorialize you in whatever tasteful way we can - your family providing a special car or two would be no problem.

In high profile funerals, like with a dignitary, there will often be a "back-up" coach in case of mechanical failure with the primary coach.

 

[dexyboi86]

After a short hiatus, I have returned. Much kudos to C for covering.

Now, resume questioning...No question too big or too small or too stupid.

 

[justjw]

Dexy: I just lóve your sig "I am gonna be the last person to let you down! "

Now about that "Funeral Directors convention":
With a "Heart Surgeons convention", or one for "Shell-geologists" e.g. , I can sort of reduce and deduce what thát's all about, but what dó you talk about, and have workshops about, on a "Funeral Directors convention" ?

To the untrained eye (in this case: mine) a funeral is a funeral. And my father's funeral 26 years ago did not look any different from my mother's 3 years ago (Gawd! Is it 3 years already? Time flies!)
So what do you discuss at a convention? (Sorry to be so ignorant! )

Oh, and coming back to "the bearers":
Dexy said "In the event there are no bearers ["supplied" by the family], we just recruit people...or do it ourselves." : whére and how do you recruit them?

 

[Jeimuzu]

Have you ever discovered someone to still be alive after being sent to you?

 

[dexyboi86]

...[W]hat dó you talk about, and have workshops about, on a "Funeral Directors convention" ?

We trade tricks and secrets. There is also continuing education seminars, as well as a lot of 'booths' where companies showcase products. We can see new hearses, impoved fluids, memorialization items, etc.
And lots of alcohol.

Oh, and coming back to "the bearers":
Dexy said "In the event there are no bearers ["supplied" by the family], we just recruit people...or do it ourselves." : whére and how do you recruit them?

Its not as crazy as it sounds. We just look for people (relatives, close froends) who can help us. When we use them, they are purely for 'strength'. Not so much for walking down the aisle type stuff.

Different facilities will have their own policy on this.

Have you ever discovered someone to still be alive after being sent to you?

Thank goodness, no. This is very rare, at least in modern society. The death is generally pronounced by a competent person.

If the person was in fact still alive, I would know VERY quickly, and would be able to stop and recussitate.

Whats the most expensive funeral you have seen/done or heard of?

We have one prearranged for something like $32,000. The reason for the expense is that the person selected a casket like James Brown was buried in. Gold plated.
Yeah.

Do you see a lot of people struggling, to give their deceased loved ones the best funeral money can buy?In terms of finances....

Most people realize that they can only afford so much. A compassionate funeral director (such as myself) will work their butt off to provide a dignified and memorable service at a low cost.

Shouldn't funeral homes and companies be pushing green funerals to help in protecting the environment?

We don't push anything. If you want traditional, we will do it. If you want green, we will do it too.

If all funerals went green........

no embalming/cardboard casket/no cremation/can funeral homes find other ways to make money?

I am not a salesman. However, I am a businessman. I will be able to make money no matter what. (And no, not by deceitful or unethical practices.)

 

[dexyboi86]

...1. You see men and women naked on a regular basis. Have you ever seen one with an abnormally large "member"?

I have seen them of all sizes. That is all I ethically feel comfortable saying.

2. Have you ever seen a corpse so mutilated that you couldn't look at it? What were the circumstances? (crime or suicide victim?)

Some have bothered me on first glance. (Mostly decomposing bodies.) But part of my professional training is that we must work even harder on such cases. I am in the business to deal with the situations noone else wants to deal with.

Still enjoying this, I am.

 

[Great Big C]

Now about that "Funeral Directors convention":
With a "Heart Surgeons convention", or one for "Shell-geologists" e.g. , I can sort of reduce and deduce what thát's all about, but what dó you talk about, and have workshops about, on a "Funeral Directors convention" ?

I can see why you would think that there's not much change from year to year, but, in fact, it's a very fast changing industry. Combine that with the fact that the law requires licensees to earn continuing education points each year - and the seminars are very interesting and very cutting edge. Things in this industry change quickly, and like dexyboi said, products are improved and new products are introduced frequently as the industry finds new and better ways to serve our families. New caskets, new chemicals, new cars, new memorialization techniques and products dominate the trade show floor and industry leaders and innovators make sure that, through the seminars, we are up to speed on our industry, and how to run a business in general, plus insurance issues, changes in the laws, new services for our industry, etc. Pretty much like any industry-specific convention. And funerians are overwhelmingly really fun, great people so it's always fun just to get together with people you only get to see once a year.

I've got two very disgusting questions no one else here has had the nerve to ask you.

Well, here goes:

1. You see men and women naked on a regular basis. Have you ever seen one with an abnormally large "member"? All right, JUBbers, remember, you damn well want to know!

2. Have you ever seen a corpse so mutilated that you couldn't look at it? What were the circumstances? (crime or suicide victim?)

I respectfully decline to answer these questions. I know why you're asking, and they're legitimate questions, but the person that is entrusted to me is first, a human being that deserves the utmost respect; and second someone's child, sibling, spouse, and friend. The person in my care, and the family that I am serving deserves nothing less than professionalism and privacy.

Suffice it to say I have served literally hundreds of families in the almost 20 years in the business. In that time, I've seen things that I never thought that I would ever see, and when I think I've seen it all, something new surprises me.

Sorry for the (bordering on) corny answer. I hope you understand.



(And for the record, I have never had a "corpse" in the preparation room...only people. And when I refer to the person that I am preparing, I always call them by name i.e.: Mr. Jones will be ready for his family to visit at 10 am, etc.)

 

[Great Big C]

3. Have you ever seen an altercation, or other event, during the funeral so severe that the cops had to be called?

That happens waaaaaaaay more than it should. I got cold cocked and knocked into a casket that was perched on the lowering device at the grave site once. Two brothers couldn't seem to put their differences aside and I tried to intervene, like an idiot. Lesson learned.

I have seen probably a dozen "real" fights that necessitated calling the police, and many more that resolve themselves pretty quickly - emotions run high at funerals.

 

[Great Big C]

Never mind.

I just realized that my questions really should have been forwarded to a forensic anthropologist, not a mortician.

I apologize.

Yeah, bear in mind though that Coroners are, more often than not, funeral directors or physicians.

But by the time that a body is released to the funeral home from the Coroner or Medical Examiner they have already fully inspected and any suspicious circumstances have been investigated. If there is anything that raises any suspicions, the body is not released to the funeral home until those suspicions are resolved.

As far as insect activity, that's pretty rare for a funeral home to receive a body that had insect activity because the state of decomposition that would permit that activity would pretty much guarantee a trip to the Coroner of MEs office for autopsy - they would then remove any viable insects. I have done removals of people with advanced decomposition with insect activity, and generally in the prep room or autopsy room that would be handled with a bath, and washing a body is a normal part of the embalming / preparation process anyway.

 

[dexyboi86]

...But by the time that a body is released to the funeral home from the Coroner or Medical Examiner they have already fully inspected and any suspicious circumstances have been investigated. If there is anything that raises any suspicions, the body is not released to the funeral home until those suspicions are resolved.

If it was a seemingly normal case that revealed something suspicious when we got them on the table, protocol is to immediately stop and call the coroner/ME.

...And for the record, I have never had a "corpse" in the preparation room...only people. And when I refer to the person that I am preparing, I always call them by name i.e.: Mr. Jones will be ready for his family to visit at 10 am, etc.

I also refer to the person by their name...corpse sounds so morbid...although I often just say "Put Jones over there so I can work on Smith."

C, I don't want to be the newbie who corrects the veteran, but "corpse" is the legally correct word for what we have on the tables. A corpse is defined as a human remains, devoid of all life functions, and not yet entirely disentigrated. Thank you Tom Stueve...

 

[justjw]

Okay, time to bring this old thread back to life (No pun intended )

What's your "relation" with undertakers in your vicinity?

I don't know how many people work at your respective funeral homes, but just for the sake of (this) argument say 5.

One is away on holidays/vacation, the second one's wife is having their first baby, the third one is down with the flu, so there's only 2 left out of a team of 5.

You're suddenly "swamped" with work (eeewww, thát sounds a little morbid, doesn't it?), can you then phone up other funeral homes near you, and say "Help! Please?", and they'll send someone over to help you out, and vice-versa?

 

[dexyboi86]

Okay, time to bring this old thread back to life (No pun intended )

What's your "relation" with undertakers in your vicinity?

I don't know how many people work at your respective funeral homes, but just for the sake of (this) argument say 5.

One is away on holidays/vacation, the second one's wife is having their first baby, the third one is down with the flu, so there's only 2 left out of a team of 5.

You're suddenly "swamped" with work (eeewww, thát sounds a little morbid, doesn't it?), can you then phone up other funeral homes near you, and say "Help! Please?", and they'll send someone over to help you out, and vice-versa?

Reputable FDs generally get along with each other. Of course, behind closed dooors, there is a bit of trash talking, lol.

We don't usually borrow people. Joe Blow Funeral Home down the street doesn't have people to spare...but they do have a nice white hearse that we sometimes borrow.

If we get busy, we call "the service" or a "trade guy". These are licensed FD/Es who are not attached to a funeral home. Kindof a float pool. They give you a resume' and a list of prices for their services. Say you need to embalm Mr. Jones but ou are in that busy situation you described, you could call Embalmer Fred to come in and do it for you. You pay him $200, and ta da, all is well.

Hope that makes sense. If not, ask for clarification.

 

[PASSAT]

Okay here are a few questions:

1) Can one be exhumed and cremated?

2) Has anyone ever used the Casket Warranty?

 

[dexyboi86]

Okay here are a few questions:

1) Can one be exhumed and cremated?

2) Has anyone ever used the Casket Warranty?

1) I guess it would be possible...but it would be a huge mess...no...undertaking...no...nightmare...errr...problem with all the paperwork and expense. ZBottom line, physically possible, legal & paperwork nightmare.

2) Not sure I understand. But any and all exprss or implied caket warranties are with the casket manufacturer, not us.

 

[dexyboi86]

What is your opinion on the portayal of mortuaries and 'former people' in such movies as Phantasm, Dawn of The Dead and Planet Terror?

I have never seen any of the above...

But I do know enough about them to tell you this...

People who do not understand the funeral business tend to be caught up in sensationalism of the 'creepy parts'.

My opinon? They portray us poorly, but if they showed us as we really are (or if they showed anyone in normal life) it would be rather boring.

 

[Great Big C]

Okay here are a few questions:

1) Can one be exhumed and cremated?

2) Has anyone ever used the Casket Warranty?

(1)Yep - I've done it. It was done for co-mingling of spouses when the wife, whose husband preceded her in death, decided that she preferred cremation and co-mingling of cremains. They were not cremated together though...that would have violated a whole slew of laws and cross ethical boundaries.

(2)Yes, I've had a couple of situations where we filed a warranty claim with the (same) casket company - both were honoured by the company and the casket was replaced without issue. Coincidentally, both involved disinterments - one from an in-ground and one from a mausoleum. In neither case were they really obligated to do it since the damage to the casket was "normal wear and tear" damage that really wasn't covered by the warranty anyway - but that company is like that.

 

[dexyboi86]

Here's Phantasm:
...
What do you think?

Wow.

Other than caskets on display, that is all theatrics.

I wanna see that movie though!

 

[Great Big C]

My opinon? They portray us poorly, but if they showed us as we really are (or if they showed anyone in normal life) it would be rather boring.

That is soooooo true!

Who wants to see one of us arguing with a newspaper about the length or cut-off time for an obituary, or trying to get death certificates or insurance sorted out?

 

[Shepherd 2]

Hve you ever done it with a corpse?
Shep+