'Boy or girl?' Parents raising 'theybies' let kids decide

[mikey3000]

Wow. You really are afraid of either me or my messages. You try to discredit me at every turn, like my experiences don't count at all. Or are you just jealous that some people actually have true life experienc, rather than your text book examples? Yes my child rearing exoeriences do qualify me. You?

 

[Kahaih]

/\ How many 'qualified expert' children do you know?

What criteria will they be using, do you suppose?

 

[rareboy]

I know a lot of them. Behavioural experts. Child therapists and psychologists, and of course some very successful and creative parents.

In fact I spent Sunday afternoon with a couple of them.

Both of them are adamantly opposed to forced imprinting of gender identity by parents and schools.

Generally, you are going to see within a few years what interests a child. The key is to give them a full range of toys and activities to choose from.....without the influence or coercion by adults.

 

[Kahaih]

/\ Sounds like a 'grow the kid in a bubble' homeschool situation. Are they all in some sort of cult?

Anyway, as I'm sure you know, that's not what I asked.

 

[rareboy]

Wow. You really are afraid of either me or my messages. You try to discredit me at every turn, like my experiences don't count at all. Or are you just jealous that some people actually have true life experienc, rather than your text book examples? Yes my child rearing exoeriences do qualify me. You?

It speaks to your level of self awareness and desire to educate yourself that you continually use your individual experiences and biases to make sweeping generalizations about subjects like this. The implication is that your singular experience somehow invalidates everything else. Using terms like 'child abuse' on a topic like this one is a perfect example.

If your opinions tended toward openness to other ideas and approaches, or even indifference to what other people think or do, that would be one thing. But this thread is a perfect example of arrogant, closed, narrow minded thinking and a willingness to heap abuse on others for having a different approach than yours.

 

[Telstra]

The opposite of this is the hyper-overdrive gender reinforcement movement that starts at the moment of birth by trying to imprint babies with girly colours and girly toys for girls and manly men and guns and hockey sticks for boys. I just saw this with one of my own great-nephews.

There is no harm whatsoever in letting children choose their own preferences for activities and identification without pressure.

My own niece, who chose black and purple as her colours and soccer as her favourite game doesn't seem to be giving her son the same latitude...although almost from the outset you could tell that he was going to be a boys' boy.

There seems to be some idea among those who know little about human behaviour and identity that there are two sexes and two genders. Even though we literally know that biological science can prove this is not so.

I would recommend that people worry about their own identity and gender expression and stop trying to impose their own insecurities and mores on others.

There is NO "let the children choose"
Children choose lollies ALL the time and good parents do not let them "choose"

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Yes my child rearing exoeriences do qualify me. You?

Raising your child qualifies you for.... raising your child. It does not make you an expect on anything else except raising your child. You're not an expert on child-rearing which is why outside this forum your opinion on such weighs less than sunlight.

 

[Dominus]

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5873216/

 

[nycguydowntown]

Radical liberalism will be America's Waterloo.

Lol--there is no radical liberalism in America --maybe in Canada---the country is and ALWAYS has been right wing---if you think we are going to be having a socialist in the White House or universal health care any time soon here---you are buying into the right wing media who want ZERO socialism unless of course it benefits them and even then they won't admit Social security or Medicare is socialist.

 

[Dominus]

Radical liberalism will be America's Waterloo.

Give me a break, mikey. America is a huge ecosystem that has plenty of room to allow for many ideas, lifestyles, careers, ideologies, etc. This country has evolved to such diverse infrastructure that no one ideology can bring it down. So, spare us the baby mama drama.

 

[smokeshadow]

^^Besides, "radical liberalism" is what made the USA. . .from the 1776 Declaration of Independence and the Revolution, to Jefferson's Louisiana Purchase, to Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation, to Teddy Roosevelt's "Walk Softly, but carry a big stick" and his involvement with the National Parks movement, to Woodrow Wilson's League of Nations (although a failure due to isolationism and the "go it alone" ideas at the time), to FDR's New Deal which set up so many of today's safety net policies, to Eisenhower's Interstate Highway system, to Kennedy's space race and Obama's PPACA. . .all were very liberal policies at the time they were implemented and most have stood the judgement of time

 

[SeaCore]

Does anyone else think it's kind of strange how obsessed our culture is with biological sex?
This is something I've thought about for a long time. It's, honestly bizarre to me that we feel this compulsion to constantly acknowledge people's sex when it's simply not relevant.

Why do people so strongly want to know the sex of a baby that isn't theirs? When you ask if they're a boy or a girl you're effectively asking if they have a penis or a vagina.
Isn't that odd? Why are you so interested in that baby's penis or vagina?

The article points out how distressed some people get when they don't know which sex the baby is. It doesn't really have any bearing for people to get so bent out of shape over. The issue seems to be that they don't know how to act. But why would you change how you act based on someone's alleged genitals?

And pronouns! Why do we insert genitalia into conversation all the time?! Isn't it true that a valid definition of 'he' would be 'that assumed penis possessor' and 'she' would be 'that assumed vagina possessor'? Wouldn't that retain the same meaning? Bizarre! Especially with how averse we are to directly talking about and depicting genitalia in our culture.

This isn't to say it's strange that people can recognize a person's sex, approximately anyways as it's possible to interpret wrongly, but it's strange that we feel the need to tell people all the time that we think they're a male or a female. Why's that valuable?

I do want acknowledge that I recognize gender and sex aren't generally considered the same thing. But gender seems to me to be largely about how we apply social meaning to sex (What it 'means' to be a girl or a boy or a woman or a man) and that because parents are withholding the 'sex' people are left in a gender-framework limbo.

 

[mikey3000]

Everything you said above can also be said for sexuality. Flaunting one's gayness happens every day and is encouraged. Is that still ok?

 

[mikey3000]

Give me a break, mikey. America is a huge ecosystem that has plenty of room to allow for many ideas, lifestyles, careers, ideologies, etc. This country has evolved to such diverse infrastructure that no one ideology can bring it down. So, spare us the baby mama drama.

Even the great Roman Empire fell.

 

[peeonme]

Does anyone else think it's kind of strange how obsessed our culture is with biological sex?
This is something I've thought about for a long time. It's, honestly bizarre to me that we feel this compulsion to constantly acknowledge people's sex when it's simply not relevant.

Why do people so strongly want to know the sex of a baby that isn't theirs? When you ask if they're a boy or a girl you're effectively asking if they have a penis or a vagina.
Isn't that odd? Why are you so interested in that baby's penis or vagina?

The article points out how distressed some people get when they don't know which sex the baby is. It doesn't really have any bearing for people to get so bent out of shape over. The issue seems to be that they don't know how to act. But why would you change how you act based on someone's alleged genitals?

And pronouns! Why do we insert genitalia into conversation all the time?! Isn't it true that a valid definition of 'he' would be 'that assumed penis possessor' and 'she' would be 'that assumed vagina possessor'? Wouldn't that retain the same meaning? Bizarre! Especially with how averse we are to directly talking about and depicting genitalia in our culture.

This isn't to say it's strange that people can recognize a person's sex, approximately anyways as it's possible to interpret wrongly, but it's strange that we feel the need to tell people all the time that we think they're a male or a female. Why's that valuable?

I do want acknowledge that I recognize gender and sex aren't generally considered the same thing. But gender seems to me to be largely about how we apply social meaning to sex (What it 'means' to be a girl or a boy or a woman or a man) and that because parents are withholding the 'sex' people are left in a gender-framework limbo.

The other night I was walking my dog and said hi to the Hispanic family down the street, they just had a baby 2 moths ago. Most parents like to tell people about their children and like it when folks ask questions. They were proud to tell me about their son.
It was kind of fun as we communicated with my next to nothing understanding of Spanish and their limited English.

 

[SeaCore]

The other night I was walking my dog and said hi to the Hispanic family down the street, they just had a baby 2 moths ago. Most parents like to tell people about their children and like it when folks ask questions. They were proud to tell me about their son.
It was kind of fun as we communicated with my next to nothing understanding of Spanish and their limited English.

I'm not sure I understand the purpose of the anecdote? Would this conversation have not been possible if their kid's sex hadn't been addressed?

 

[peeonme]

I'm not sure I understand the purpose of the anecdote? Would this conversation have not been possible if their kid's sex hadn't been addressed?

To normal, well balanced parents, excluding the ultra far out whacked out lefties, the gender of their children is important. It's sort of a 'look what we did' moment.

 

[SeaCore]

To normal, well balanced parents, excluding the ultra far out whacked out lefties, the gender of their children is important. It's sort of a 'look what we did' moment.

But why is it important? Would the interaction have been different had it been a daughter? Should it be?

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

To normal, well balanced parents, excluding the ultra far out whacked out lefties, the gender of their children is important. It's sort of a 'look what we did' moment.

This is the most obnoxious, dishonest post I've read in a long time. If you ever float back down to earth holla at'cha girl let's do coffee. If I'm not mistaken you're like near retirement age, yes? If no, disregard. If yes.... that explains your fixation on gender. You grew up in a time where the entirety of a person's existence was mapped out by whether they had a penis or a vagina. there was no gay or straight or drag queens. boys worked and mowed the lawn, girls got pregnant. simple world, not much room for confusion or original thought [a concept more cringe-inducing than the prospect of nuclear war for your generation].

Sorry to inform you them days is gone, women are Ceos now, dads stay at home, girls wear pants and guys are wearing make-up. The world is changing whether you like it or not. Doesn't mean that the people who progress and open their minds to new ideas are bad people or are harming their kids. That's been a common fear tactic from traditionalists who neglect to acknowledge that "their way" isn't exactly a model for success itself. We had gender norms up until now and what were the benefits? we have subservient girls starving themselves to fit an idealistic beauty norm and our boys are so violent that you can arbitrarily poll any five women you see on the street and at least two have experienced rape or domestic abuse, and I'm rounding down.

I'm not even going to insult your intelligence by asking you to list the benefits of these rigid gender codes because I know that you know they aren't any, they're simply a security blanket, one of the few lasting remnants of the culture of yesteryear to save the older generation from being frightened to death of this new world. Let go of your death-like grip on yesterday. It's gone boo.

 

[peeonme]

But why is it important? Would the interaction have been different had it been a daughter? Should it be?

Do you have any children? The gender of a new born is big news. The whole thought of 'the baby has a penis or a vagina, but we will let the baby decide what gender the baby is' is nutty.