Could you be friends with someone who opposed gay marriage?

[ChickenGuy]

May I rephrase your question?

Re: Could you be friends with someone who opposed equal rights for gay partners?

Note the difference.

I am gay, and I am ambivalent / neutral / non-committal on gay marriage.

I would, however, take issue with anyone not supporting EQUIVALENT rights for gays under civil unions / partnerships.

I would probably still remain friends with such a person, though.

I WOULD USE MY FRIENDSHIP WITH SUCH A PERSON TO EXPLAIN TO THEM MY POSITION AND HOPEFULLY PERSUADE / CONVINCE THEM OF THE ERROR OF THEIR WAYS.

Or would you rather I shout and swear at them, break of all contact with them, and leave them even more alienated and hostile to the gay community than they were before?

 

[boxerdudeuk]

I WOULD USE MY FRIENDSHIP WITH SUCH A PERSON TO EXPLAIN TO THEM MY POSITION AND HOPEFULLY PERSUADE / CONVINCE THEM OF THE ERROR OF THEIR WAYS.

you sound like someone i recently broke off a friendship with because they were "born again" and spent 3 months trying to make me "see the error of my ways".

i made it quite clear that i respected their lifestyle and decision but didn't want to be "converted". if they respected my views, we wouldn't have had a problem.

they couldn't see it that way - so the friendship was over.

tolerance goes both ways.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

Yes but I would feel a bit put off by their stance. However, I don't approve of the combative mentality some gay people have with this subject either. After Prop 8 passed, I heard tales of some gays badgering their friends, family and co-workers demanding to know how they voted. That's obnoxious. You're not gonna change minds by browbeating or snidely shunning people who aren't 100% supportive of same sex marriage. The proactive thing is to do is to build bridges, not burn them.

e x a c t l y

 

[fetaby]

e x a c t l y

Exactly, I believe the reasoning behing the agressive nature of some poster's (myself inluded) stems from a feeling of betrayel.

How would you feel if an immediate family member was abusing you? Someone who came from the same stock as yourself, shared the same table? Would you be offended/hurt/victimized?

Once again, if a person who identifies as gay can't see that this is an issue on equality, then they don't want equality for themself. I refuse to help those who can't help themselves. And furthermore, I resent them for telling me my thoughts/feelings/beliefs are wrong, when we are paddling the same damn boat...

?

 

[fetaby]

This begins now. Marriage is a concept of positivity, joining, creation, love, and trust.

To not want these things? That is what I do not understand. Do you want meaningless baseless transactions...? Or do you feel a legitimate need to not be alone? Independance is a wonderfull thing, but to the point of isolation?

Human beings are social creatures, no? We crave the companioship of each other, no? For one human to tell another human they can not have this, is descrimination. And as a gay person, I can't fathom why another gay person allows themself to be descrimanated against?

Do you enjoy pain? Yes or no? It's that simple.

It's what doesn't kill us makes us stronger vs. what isn't helping is hurting.

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

No, and none of my friends are against it. If they were, then I wouldn't be able to call them 'best' or even 'good' friends. It is a huge slap in the face to me. It isn't like 'Would you be friends with someone who doesn't like the color green?' This is 'Would you be friends with someone who wants to deny equal rights to homosexuals?' What does that say about me? I wouldn't be cold hearted, but view about them would change. They wouldn't be a true friend to me.

 

[terry751]

Yes but I would feel a bit put off by their stance. However, I don't approve of the combative mentality some gay people have with this subject either. After Prop 8 passed, I heard tales of some gays badgering their friends, family and co-workers demanding to know how they voted. That's obnoxious. You're not gonna change minds by browbeating or snidely shunning people who aren't 100% supportive of same sex marriage. The proactive thing is to do is to build bridges, not burn them.

I agree somewhat. As long as they're not trying to burn the bridges we're trying to build then I'll go along with that. By the way, if that's your picture for the avatar, that REALLY is a good picture! Okay, back to the subject! [grin]

 

[boxerdudeuk]

No, and none of my friends are against it. If they were, then I wouldn't be able to call them 'best' or even 'good' friends. It is a huge slap in the face to me. It isn't like 'Would you be friends with someone who doesn't like the color green?' This is 'Would you be friends with someone who wants to deny equal rights to homosexuals?' What does that say about me? I wouldn't be cold hearted, but view about them would change. They wouldn't be a true friend to me.

would you be offended if one of your friends who was catholic said they couldn't be friends with you if you weren't catholic as well?

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

would you be offended if one of your friends who was catholic said they couldn't be friends with you if you weren't catholic as well?

Religion intolerance is unfortunate, and that is another story. Not wanting to be friends with someone who doesn't support the equality amongst homosexuals is not the same as not wanting to be friends with someone who doesn't support the same religious ideals. I guess you figure in this example, they [catholics/homosexuals] have their own beliefs against [non-catholics/equal marriage], but I think the deeper context is different. That is like asking, 'would you be offended if one of your friends who was black said they couldn't be friends with you if you weren't black as well.' Ignorance is ignorance, and there is no sugarcoating it. I am not going to be buddy buddy with someone who doesn't think I deserve to be treated with the same equal rights heterosexuals possess.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

Religion intolerance is unfortunate

so is intolerance towards gay marriage.

 

[bankside]

I choose my friends for the quality of their character. I have few, very good, very decent friends. I value quality over quantity. They are free to challenge me on my thinking on any subject. There is give & take, back & forth over a couple of decades now with many of my friends of longstanding on any number of issues.

And there is no way in hell I would be friends with any one of them if they professed a greater entitlement to the institution of marriage than I have. They know that, and they would not want it any other way. It is a basic issue of recognizing equality and dignity.

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

so is intolerance towards gay marriage.

I concur, which is why I really wouldn't want to be best friends forever with someone telling me I don't deserve to marry the hypothetical man I love. I don't want a union. I don't want the meaning of marriage to change. I want to viewed as an equal to my heterosexual counterpart. Someone who does not understand that, does not see me as an equal. That is disrespectful to me and everything I believe in.

 

[boxerdudeuk]

Yes, I already am. One of my best friends is a Bible thumpin' Southern Baptist. He opposes gay marriage and I oppose a lot of his beliefs. It doesn't stop us from enjoying each other's company on a wide spectrum of other activities.

live and let live. it's a great philosophy to have.

 

[fetaby]

Let the revolution begin...

Tolerance first.. Acceptance will follow..

One of us? No, then quit looking at that porn,and go figure your mess out..

You really want to just masturbate your entire life?

 

[sabot3ur]

tolerance doesn't really go both ways in this situation. not everyone's views deserve tolerance or respect, I don't see what the big deal is.

if you have a friend who opposes gay marriage, tell them straight up that you think they're being a discriminatory moron. if they can deal with that and laugh about it like a certain aquaintence of mine, then I see no problem with chilling, however I wouldn't call that a great friendship.

 

[mydrew1]

Yes. If there's respect, you'll get on fine together.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

I think we have to be mindful that this particular social, religious, and legal institution has been (for all practical purposes) universally understood as a union of male and female throughout all of recorded human history. Whether the relationships have been one to one, one to many, many to one, sincere, or opportunistic, they have been one gender to the other gender.

And here we come from "outer space," on the day day before yesterday, to insist that marriage is not what they have always known it to be. Of course their heads are spinning.

I want our side to win because, as I have often said, where you stand depends upon where you sit. Marriage will give us leverage to achieve other aims. And that's worthwhile.

But, children, let's be honest. We are in the process of overturning a 150,000 year old empire of thought with a radical concept that we dreamed and schemed up five minutes ago.

There is no constitutional right to gay marriage, or historical foundation to support the concept. But I would certainly like to see it, nonetheless, because it's good for us and the society.

 

[wastingmymind]

But, children, let's be honest. We are in the process of overturning a 150,000 year old empire of thought with a radical concept that we dreamed and schemed up five minutes ago.

150,000 years ago, marriage consisted of one man and his many wives. The Conservatives can STFU.

To the original question, no. We don't run in the same circles, I don't live in their suburbs. Some in my city are my mom's Catholic friends, and they're a generation apart. I have yet to meet an anti-gay marriage person within friends of my friends, or those who share my interests. So no.

If they don't respect gay marriage, they don't respect you. That's like someone who likes Lebron James but wouldn't want him to marry his sister.

 

[DiamondSkin]

bullshit. it's their belief. their beliefs lead them to not support gay marriage.

You're equating prejudice and discrimination with 'belief'.

If I believe that blacks shouldn't be allowed to marry whites, it's a-okay as long as I claim it's a belief?

And I suppose all those people whose 'belief' says that gays are going to hell or they shouldn't be allowed to teach is just a differing opinion to be respect.

Bullshit.

respect of one's beliefs is a two way street. don't expect anyone to support yours if you're not willing to recognize and respect anyone else's but your own.

I'll respect a belief. I will not respect intolerance, prejudice or discrimination.

That's the difference between you in me.

When you get gay-bashed on the side of the street, please don't press charges.

After all, they were just practicing their beliefs.

 

[DiamondSkin]

you sound like someone i recently broke off a friendship with because they were "born again" and spent 3 months trying to make me "see the error of my ways".

i made it quite clear that i respected their lifestyle and decision but didn't want to be "converted". if they respected my views, we wouldn't have had a problem.

they couldn't see it that way - so the friendship was over.

tolerance goes both ways.

Again, you're equating belief, or religion with marriage equality.

This is fucking stupid.

So if my religious belief says that Jews shouldn't be allowed to marry and it should be illegal, it should be respected?

It's not merely a belief. It's a prejudice. It's discrimination.

Equating belief or religious tolerance to homophobia is fucking stupid.

I can just easily equate it racism.