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Curious... Is my friend too? - Discussion

Oh your observations are certainly understandable... however... you miss the things that he actually does himself. He did in fact initiate the cuddling. The first time we stayed in the same bed we would merge towards the middle then corrected ourselves... the second time... he actually was the one that got close to me. And not to mention when I would move over to my side he would actually come over and get close over there too.

Sure last night he didn't really initiate much or reciprocate in the cuddling but he has in the past... which makes his behavior more inconsistent. So you can't really say "Oh he doesn't like what you're doing" and it's just the same for thinking he does like it.

As far as not wanting to talk about it... he doesn't like talking about many things. He is awkward and gets uncomfortable very fast regardless of the topic. So again... inconsistencies show you can't label it as "he is straight and has no interest and you're only pissing him off" or "he is unsure of his sexuality therefore you need to be careful what you bring up, seeing how those types are more do-ers and not talkers".
 
The way he has acted today he doesn't seem to care much. If he does he definitely isn't showing it.
 
i do see something in him thats afraid but really wants to do something, but he's not even at the point yet where he's let himself accept the fact that he might want to do things. So its gonna take him a little while to come to terms that this stuff is okay, and that he does want it more than "kinda sorta might want but nevermind." I'm sure if you keep at it, you'll get something more! Its just exhausting. And you have a bromance? Thats hot! Hold onto that dude. Are you guys touchy or affectionate with eachother when you're hanging out?
 
We aren't touchy really... but it's clear we have a bond different from others we're around. He isn't afraid to come over and sit right next to me... in my space. And it's clear with all of my friends that I don't let anyone in my personal space... except Frank. And say I'm showing him something he will come over near me and be a few inches away from my face. I don't notice this with other people. Sure it's not touchy but it's in my personal space.

By the way... it's not a faux relationship...

But on to a new topic I've discussed with someone over messenger and with John. I've been picking up that Trent has been checking me out. I asked John just to see if I'm making it up but he agrees. When I am around Trent he will very noticeably look me up and down like he is checking me out. And I have attempted to get closer (more intimate I mean) with him, but he is hot and cold with this. Sometimes he wants to hang out and other times he makes up stupid excuses like "I'm not allowed to do anything"... right... or he will spent hours not replying (avoiding?) to text messages before telling me "it's too late to do anything".
 
Ya I know what you mean. Honestly with Trent I'm just wondering the truth behind him. If one thing led to another and all that stuff... then sure... I'd probably try something.

And ya... you're right. I'm not really looking to hook up specifically. He's a friend before someone I would have sex with. But still... if it's going to happen I'd rather it happen sooner rather then later. However Frank is likely torn over it all so I'm understanding of that fact.

And I've realized I left out a detail from the other night. Before I rubbed my lips on his cheek, I traced my nose along the upper part of his ear. He didn't seem to mind that. He only moved when I touched his cheeks.
 
So... how are things going?
You haven't update for a while...
 
Well there hasn't been much to update you guys on. He hasn't been over since that last time. He's either been busy or we did other things at other friend's houses.

However he may be coming over to my house this weekend... we're not sure about it yet.

He did break up with his girlfriend though...
 
Ok so I'm beginning to think he doesn't want to stay over. We went to another friends house to play halo instead. Which is fine but he was wanting me to stay at his house if we ended up hanging out. But there was a reason behind that so I don't know. But we will see about next weekend.
 
next weekend is quite long, but people'll wait to se what's next :D
have a nice day
 
So nothing really happened. But he hasn't hung out with me much. He is too busy with his other group of friends... I'm slightly pissed about it because I've asked him to hang out the last two weeks and he has blown me off to hang out with other people.

But last night I did hang out with that group of friends. They are freaking hilarious though. I don't mind hanging out with them but I'm not going to follow them around... I feel rude, like a creeper, and extremely awkward since they aren't my friends really. But anyway we all slept in Trent's basement. I got the shaft and had a thin blanket sleeping bag thing and an extremely uncomfortable bean bag chair as a pillow to sleep on. And it was freezing down there might I add.

Anyway... so I was kinda off to the side next to the wall but still just a foot or two away from Frank (he picked to lay by me btw). My waist was at about his shoulders and we were laying parallel to each other (to help build a mental picture). I ended up close kind of to him... not intentionally. I woke up once and he had his leg over my foot and his arm resting on my leg. Then later I woke up and my shin was up against his back.

It's entirely possible these were by accident. So I'm not going to say he moved this way intentionally. But he did stop breathing the way he does when he is definitely asleep. I'm not sure he would do these things with a room full of other friends, but it was when our other friend (who was also present last night) stayed at my house with Frank when I noticed him playing along with the night cuddling for the first time. So I don't know... I'm not deciding anything on this one.

I'm considering the next time he comes over for us to sleep in my room. Just to show him I don't want him over just to cuddle. Ha. Or perhaps I'd let him decide- my room or the basement room. Say I don't mind either way. So he would know fully well what was to happen and he was deciding it. That would tell me a lot...

Over thinking... again. Oh well.
 
year you're over thinking :lol:
I guess you may have a crush on him
 
No... because that's not what I want.

Crush... yes that's possible. But I don't know... it really is similar to a bromance type of thing. I don't know what to call it. I love him as a friend and as a brother. I am physically attracted to him... but I find a lot of people attractive.
 
^^^ I think xtc is just have some feeling, he doesn't push Frank anywhere
 
Ya like Coffee said... I don't push him. Or force him to do anything. ANY sexual subject I'm sure to make sure he is ok with it. When he watches porn at me house, he asks me to make a dvd of it, or uses my fleshlight I ask if he wants to. I'm not pressuring him into it in ANY way.

And if you're linking me being hurt by him hanging out with other friends to a crush... that's not it at all. It's simply that he is my friend and he isn't balancing his time with everyone like a good friend would.
 
OK so... I had been thinking (of course). And I wondered if last time he came over was too much for him and that's why he hasn't been wanting to hang out. So I somewhat have twisted the truth to explain.

So... truthfully... I do odd things in my sleep. For instance, I act out the dream (sometimes they are scandalous... ie thrusting and sometimes its as simple as thinking I'm taking a picture with a camera). Or I sometimes it's the whole head movement going back and forth between areas. Usually when there is a gap between pillows. I'm sure there are many more things I just haven't woken up to doing.

The way I explained things to him... in the truth twisted way. After I had a dream the other night (were I woke up to me thrusting into the air and a pillow) and it made me think. I know I sometimes do odd things in my sleep and with you seemingly avoiding hanging out with me I had been thinking about it. I said I somewhat remember fighting his arm for room for my head. And I was afraid if something else had possibly happened. He said ya he thinks (thinks? Like he doesn't know for sure?) so and it kinda freaked him out. I was like sorry and explained that the stuff does happen and then the fact I like to snuggle and apparently like to rub my face on pillows (something else I've found I do) doesn't help. So if it happened again and he wasn't comfortable he needed to either wake me up and make me move or he needed to move away if possible. He said ok. And I added on that if he wasn't even comfortable sleeping in the same bed anymore we could find other arrangements. He seemed ok by this... but it's texting so I'm not sure.

So my conclusion... I pushed it a little too far. BUT... I KNOW he has played back before. So maybe it was too big of a jump for him. But I blamed it on my crazy sleep behavior so he might be ok with it.

And I realize that I did pressure him in this situation... but I figured he would play back like he had in the past. It's all very interesting.
 
the other poster is right, it is exhausting to hear the story and how it's played out and how long it's been.

what's even more tiring is you grasping for straws at every little thing he does. I know straight men that are very affectionate, even more affectonate that he has been. So yes, I won't deny any of what he has been doing to you. BUT, you have to realize that unless he turns it up (which he hasn't) that they are plainly NOT advances from his mind's eye. Why not? because he would actually advance with the opportunity you clearly give him to.

One thing you're doing is really being that guy who pressures someone to hang out (alone) and when you're with friends you don't try to make friends because you're just thinking about him. Then you hang on his plans asking over and over till he give in. Then you wait and wait patiently only to have the endless situation yet continue again.

So then you think if I can just backtrack on my advances and explain it out, it will then be back in my favor.

It doesn't work that way because every time he doesn't text or call then you start to want to have a talk or make a sly text trying to feel how you guys are, if you're cool etc and guys hate that. Especially if you basically say, we need to talk, you're not doing this or being this way, blah blah, conversations like that are terrible.

It's not that you pushed him to far, it's that right now as it stands for whatever what reasons, for whatever he was once willing to do with you, he's not having it and you have to re-rationalize all you can to get your brain to realize this.

Realize that I'm not ripping on you, i'm just trying to help you see. heck, it's so easy to want to do this to every guy. The fact that a straight guy is willing to spend nights at your house is the best.

Just hope he doesn't stop wanting to do that.
 
I'm just going with the flow I guess. Now that he knows my lie... which I will admit... it is a lie but with some truth. Doesn't make it ok. But I think I'm going to relax on having him hang out. Let him hang out with his friends and attempt to get over my issues with it. I haven't talked about that stuff because I feel stupid for it. Basically I'm insecure when it comes to friends not hanging out with me. When I was younger the neighborhood kids, including my brother, always left me out intentionally. In my teen years I've only been invited to hang out with certain people at certain times... if I asked to go they made it incredibly awkward for me. So now I'm afraid to ask if I could go along because I'm afraid of it being awkward (I'm inviting myself and I feel it's flat out rude). And then on top of that when I want to hang out with someone and they screw me out of a situation and do other things... it hurts really bad. I went into a mini depression last weekend nearly.

And no... it's not that I'm unfriendly with these guys... they just aren't my friends. I communicate with them and everything. It's just I don't know them well enough to be like hey let's go hangout this weekend with all of the guys. I only know two of them well enough to do that outside Frank. And I don't mind becoming friends with them.
 
I won't act any differently... The interesting thing about it... the ONE thing he has done differently is his avoidance to stay over. That's it. He has acted completely normal around me the rest of the time. He has done his usual getting really close to me when I'm explaining/showing something and all that.

This weekend I'm hoping to hang out with him and maybe a few other friends. It's my birthday Monday... I'll no longer be a teenager.
 
unfortunately, you've lost your edge with him staying over. guess it was fun while it lasted, maybe he'll miss it and come back. I do think it's the right thing for you to give him his space. About hanging with his friends you said, you can be friends with 2 of them and that's a good start.

What you really need however is friends of your own. My brother told me once to not hang around with people that treat you poorly. Find people that don't hurt you like you've been hurt in the past.

Good luck and happy birthday.
 
Ha thanks... It's not until Monday actually. But thanks anyway.

And you're right about not hanging out with people that treat me poorly. But the thing is... I'm pretty much a part of his family at this point. It would hurt worse not being around.

I actually invited two of his friends to go see Friday the 13th with me Saturday. Haven't found out if it's going work out though. But I decided since Frank doesn't like "scary" movies and he has been treating me shitty I'm not inviting him myself. I told one of the guys if he wanted to ask Frank he could but I wasn't because of the reasons I said before.
 
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