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Curious... Is my friend too? - Discussion

Ya I'm not bringing it up anymore. Just thought I would comment on it. And he shouldn't think much of it. I comment on just about everything I can with him. So ya. You think I should step it up (ie kiss, grope, lick, rub, all that good stuff) next time he is over?
 
I think you should start with touching him more. And when you are lying next to eachother, accidentally touch him.
If I were you I would start teasing him with one finger. And if he gets angry or something you can always say that you are bored or whatever and that you always play around with objects that are near you :)
I really really don't understand where you get the patience from. Such a long time and still the tension is building up and nothing has occured! :P

I totally agree with the others: don't talk about it, just start doing it!
 
well x, i think your friend frank would go along with action rather than verbalization. everything you have related thus far shows he has 'acted' in the past but can't talk about that kind of stuff,

i'm no shrink but sounds to me like he has a mental block as in "oops", shit happens, no big deal. BUT talking about stuff makes it pre-meditated and implies gay tendencies not just a momentary impulse that can be overlooked or not overdwelled on so to speak.

ok, dr lefty sitting back down in his chair with pipe and scotch in hand(*8*)
 
bw92116 said:
All this time you have spent on him... you could have been with some other smokin' hot guy who wants you, and you could have had some real fun and lovemaking.
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But that's not what I want. I only trust him to try stuff with. I have trust issues so it's not easy for me to just go out and have sex or whatever with anyone. And I don't want a "boyfriend". So that adds to it.

But ya... I agree with what everyone is saying about him just wanting to block it. That is just reinforced with him not wanting to talk about his experiences with Trent. And I'm sure thinking about it makes him feel guilty because of our religion. I just don't want him feeling guilty and other general bad feelings if something happens. That's why I would rather talk to him about it to make sure.

Oh and about patience. It goes along with my compulsive analyzing. To analyze you have to be patient until you decide what you want out of the topic. I've learned how to be extremely patient. Ha.
 
xtc99992003 said:
But that's not what I want. I only trust him to try stuff with. I have trust issues so it's not easy for me to just go out and have sex or whatever with anyone. And I don't want a "boyfriend". So that adds to it.

But ya... I agree with what everyone is saying about him just wanting to block it. That is just reinforced with him not wanting to talk about his experiences with Trent. And I'm sure thinking about it makes him feel guilty because of our religion. I just don't want him feeling guilty and other general bad feelings if something happens. That's why I would rather talk to him about it to make sure.
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If you don't want a relationship, don't go farther. He's been in an awkward situation between friendship and curious (or lust). I think he's kinda shy about it. If you go far and then tell him that they're all not about a relationship, just trying stuff, then you become another "Trent" or worse... He'll be more and more awkward everytime talking to you.
 
Coffee said:
If you don't want a relationship, don't go farther. He's been in an awkward situation between friendship and curious (or lust). I think he's kinda shy about it. If you go far and then tell him that they're all not about a relationship, just trying stuff, then you become another "Trent" or worse... He'll be more and more awkward everytime talking to you.
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Nah... Frank and Trent are still friends. He thinks kinda less of him since he kinda persuaded him in a not so great way (took his clothes and hid them so he would stay naked)... at least I think so. Which I would not want to do that to him. I don't want to trick him into doing anything or force him into it. And he knows I wouldn't be looking for a real relationship with him outside of friendship and messing around.

And ya he is definitely shy about it. Claiming to be asleep when we get close, not wanting to talk about his experiences, etc. More like shy and afraid in my opinion.
 
So he was over again last night. He definitely has no problem snuggling... when "asleep". Its a good thing though... I'm a naturally cold person, he is warm... so I use his warmth to keep me toasty. Ha. Basically started off normal then I kinda tried playing with his feet with mine... he had his socks on though. So I just laid next to him so we were touching. Later though I continued with trying to play with his feet with mine and I noticed the socks were gone. And he started playing back some. I would sometimes just rub my feet up against his or along his legs... it was hot. But other notable things worth saying was he would maneuver himself so that his arm would be right in front of my face... so I rubbed my lips across it. He would move his arm a little when I hadn't done it for a while... so he liked it. Then about and hour or two before we finally woke up this morning he put his face literally a hair width away from mine. We were so close to kissing... But I decided not to try that.

Also he put his butt right in my crotch a lot more this time. So I just cuddled right up and spooned with him and intertwined our legs. Fairly often my upper leg was either right on his crack or between his legs (together, laying on his side). But I think he laid with his butt towards me so much because he was trying to keep his boner from rubbing on me. I got kinda tired of being the big spoon so I at one point switched the other way... he wouldn't be the big spoon... But he made sure to pay attention to me by playing with my feet or coming over to my half of the bed and making sure he was cuddling.
 
Hahaha. Well glad it's now hot.

I thought about just letting my hard on go where ever... and I did some but I made sure it was in the waistband and not sticking out.
 
I'm beginning to think our relationship could be called a bromance. Except with the possiblity of being sexually involved if it were to happen.
 
So... I know you guys have said not to say anything to frank about out cuddling but I want to tell him I'm glad he is there to keep my warm. And I miss it when he isn't here.

What do you guys think?
 
Ya you're right. I just want to hint that I like sleeping with him but not making it sound too weird or anything.
 
I think that's a romantic way saying about it. But make sure he'll know it, not only us, lol.
 
Well I said something. He didn't find it odd or anything. At least I don't think so... Not from what we talked about.
 
do what did you said? do you think he like it or not?
:lol:
 
Well he never said he liked it. He just kind of shrugged it off. But I told him I liked it.
 
So interesting thing has happened. Not really with me though. Franks little brother (he is like 13) uses my computer on occasion when he comes over with frank. I was told by john there were some interesting searches on the guest account. So I looked at them. Turns out he was trying to look at porn. At that trying to find miley Cyrus nude pictures and zac efron nude pictures. So I said something to frank. I guess frank found other searches on their computer with naked guys being the topic. So I've decided to talk to him about what I've found and not say anything about what frank found. And I don't think I'll point out specifically what I found but just say I know what he was looking at and he should stop if he can't cover it up... That would be terrible for him if that was found by his parents.

But I have a theory. I guess it was found out franks brother and cousin(a guy) had sex in the past. Franks cousin is maybe a year older than his brother. And I know it had to be over two years ago. Supposedly they actually got penetration. Which is confusing me a lot. Franks brother couldn't have gotten hard at that age... I know because I've had to explain it to him because frank won't. And I told him about masturbation... If he didn't know about jacking off how could he know anal sex? But my theory is he is curious about it all. I know because of my sexual experiences from when I was younger made (and continues to make) me curious.

But... I'm looking for what I should say to him. I think I'll just leave it at don't look at any porn on my computer or any other computer if you can't cover it up. It will only cause problems. I will tell him I'll keep it to myself. I really just feel like sharing my feelings about sexuality but I can't. It will be misinterpreted by him since he is so young.

Frank just kept saying that all this just makes him wonder. Which it does me too. But I explained why I thought he was probably just curious and that I went through it when I started thinking about the things I went through.
 
xtc99992003 said:
So interesting thing has happened. Not really with me though. Franks little brother (he is like 13) uses my computer on occasion when he comes over with frank. I was told by john there were some interesting searches on the guest account. So I looked at them. Turns out he was trying to look at porn. At that trying to find miley Cyrus nude pictures and zac efron nude pictures. So I said something to frank. I guess frank found other searches on their computer with naked guys being the topic. So I've decided to talk to him about what I've found and not say anything about what frank found. And I don't think I'll point out specifically what I found but just say I know what he was looking at and he should stop if he can't cover it up... That would be terrible for him if that was found by his parents.

But I have a theory. I guess it was found out franks brother and cousin(a guy) had sex in the past. Franks cousin is maybe a year older than his brother. And I know it had to be over two years ago. Supposedly they actually got penetration. Which is confusing me a lot. Franks brother couldn't have gotten hard at that age... I know because I've had to explain it to him because frank won't. And I told him about masturbation... If he didn't know about jacking off how could he know anal sex? But my theory is he is curious about it all. I know because of my sexual experiences from when I was younger made (and continues to make) me curious.

But... I'm looking for what I should say to him. I think I'll just leave it at don't look at any porn on my computer or any other computer if you can't cover it up. It will only cause problems. I will tell him I'll keep it to myself. I really just feel like sharing my feelings about sexuality but I can't. It will be misinterpreted by him since he is so young.

Frank just kept saying that all this just makes him wonder. Which it does me too. But I explained why I thought he was probably just curious and that I went through it when I started thinking about the things I went through.
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Dude, I'm gonna say this because I see a lot of myself in you, and I say it with the utmost respect and love two dudes who have never met can muster: you are too freaking chatty with your guy.

Nevermind the mental exhaustion I know you must be going through(it's showing in your posts) - that's your cross to bear, but if you're not careful, you could push your friend away. Others have the nail on the head when they said that your friend does not like talking about this stuff particularly his personal experiences. If he spoons you at night when you guys share a bed, don't bring it up and break it down with him the next day. Cause if you don't, pretty soon he's gonna stop shrugging it off and giving you noncomittal answers about how he may feel or think about it, and he's gonna suddenly want to sleep on the floor cause "it's better for his back" or he'll want to sleep on the sofa because the air is better or something, and then he's gonna start giving you reasons why he can't sleep over. Don't even bring it up as a joke or reference. Don't.

Here's another bit of experience from my personal life: you are not as cleverly hidden as you think you are. Your friend is not as oblivious as you think he is. He knows exactly what you're up to. Not because you got this big honking sign saying your intentions, but because he is your best friend/brother. Who better to know than him? And honestly dude, your hints aren't exactly hidden or veiled. He knows. And he's choosing to overlook it. He's focusing on the friendship you guys have.

I mean, he does show comfort levels with you, but the stuff he is uncomfortable with is probably the stuff that you pushed too hard on. At the end of the day man, he probably genuinely loves you, and he does NOT want to treat you like some sex whatever. What you guys have is so much deeper and important than fooling around.

And on the subject of your "feelings" for him. It sounds like you are falling for or have fallen for him. It can slip up on ya.

Oh, also, don't talk to his brother about the internet searches. The best thing is to say nothing, or if something just has to be said, then it should be left to his brother to say it. I mean everyone was 13 at one time and I personally would have been mortified if one of my brother's friends tried to have a conversation about that stuff - even in the pretense of giving advice. Wouldn't you? So, please for the love of God, stop talking! And I mean that nicely :)

Dial it back. Let your friend do the talking/acting. You just react.

And try to focus on your friendship please!


However, after all my negative-ness, his discomfort might come from him not being able to "control" himself around you ;)

I hope you're doing well dude :)
 
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