Do You Believe In Smacking Children ?

[luckynumbah7]

And the majority of kids today don't know the meaning of no. My dogs/cats were better behaved than children today. A rolled up (rolled flat so it makes a pop sound) newspaper works good for the dog. A spray bottle of water works good for the cats.

Learning the meaning of no doesn't take a rolled up newspaper, as it were. For the most part my cat listens to 'No' because she's been raised properly and I don't demand she do stupid shit, like hold her when she doesn't want to be. When she was a kitten and getting in trouble, picking her up, turning her face to yours with 'No' and a removal from the area worked well. And rather quick, considering. I do have a spray bottle for those days she's being a dick, but half of those are my fault as well, need to pick up another scratching post. But clearing my throat generally does it. Regardless, adult cats are not children who have faulty reasoning processes due to lack of experience and an underdeveloped brain. Adult cats are adults and most of them know damn well what they're doing.

 

[NotHardUp1]

The irony of the situation is that in a home where corporal punishment was not used in an abusive nature, the parents would probably have skills in parenting that would make any physical contact unnecessary.

Except that, in my 55 years, I haven't seen that much. I've seen homes where corporal punishment is very sparingly applied, but few where it was never applied.

The good disciplinarians disliked physical punishment, but often sensed when it was needed and had the guts to do it. Too often today, the child is obviously the misbegotten product of parents either too weak or too afraid of being the grown-up in charge, whether spanking or not.

 

[eddielee]

I was raised up on the "spare the rod, spoil the child" era. I've got my hide tanned at home and at school. The teacher put a paddle to my behind because I didn't do my homework. Another teacher would walk around carrying a big ruler. If you were cutting up, she'd grab your hand and give it a few good smacks. Ma and Pa didn't spank me that much. If I disobeyed Ma, or got a sassy mouth around her, she'd break a thin branch off the spirea bush and switch my tail good! Things are very different today.

 

[peeonme]

Except that, in my 55 years, I haven't seen that much. I've seen homes where corporal punishment is very sparingly applied, but few where it was never applied.

The good disciplinarians disliked physical punishment, but often sensed when it was needed and had the guts to do it. Too often today, the child is obviously the misbegotten product of parents either too weak or too afraid of being the grown-up in charge, whether spanking or not.

I think it would be good to define exactly what corporal punishment is, is it a swat on the butt? a switch? a paddle or a belt?
Pants up or down?
What is the purpose of it? To punish? To teach fear? To show displeasure or anger?

As a boy I remember watching an old movie, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, filmed in 1939. One scene stuck in my young mind, the hunchback saves a young woman, takes her into the Cathedral and screams "sanctuary" at those chasing her, they turned back.

I always saw a home as being a sanctuary for the family, a safe place. A place where those who might chase us can not follow, a place without a need to fear those around us. My home was not that way as a boy, it was a place of fear, of abuse.

I did my best in raising my son to insure that his home was a sanctuary, a place where adversaries did not lurk. He was never afraid,
it was not perfect, but, he knew what peace and safety were.

Did I ever spank him? I tried it, but as soon as I did I knew that I was wrong, there had to be a better way.
I am sure that some fine and good parents use a minimum amount of inflicting pain on their children, it wasn't for me.

 

[Willie Boy]

Find another venue. I guess that you REALLY don't understand how they work. The only place to put on a show that size is the fairgrounds. The promoter is the one that secures the place for the show. The promoter is the one that pays for the cost upfront. Then the promoter charges those that wish to set up. And it was (and still is) the biggest craft show in this area. That show draws thousands. And it was a big part of our yearly income.

Then you're just S.O.L. If all you want to do is complain that somebody else isn't doing what you expect they should do. On the one hand I agree that the parents need to be controlling their kids if they're going to bring them...... But that isn't the way it is. So go ahead and complain and nothing changes. I offered the suggestion that you bring up the situation to those in charge with possible solutions that you could give, you refuse to do that because your complaining seems a better choice for you..... You chose that line of work because it kept the overhead lower, no need for a location of your own or advertising to bring in customers on your own. You have to deal with the rules of the venue/promoter. You are encountering problems and need to have them addressed, but if you don't voice them nothing will change. It is on you to let the promoter know what you need. If he/she refuses to do anything then you get everyone together who is affected and threaten to leave. The idea of lost revenue from individual crafters leaving will get his attention He pays for the use of the fairgrounds but no one pays him, he loses bigtime. Customers go away if there's nothing to see/buy, then even if he finds new vendors he's got nothing to keep them as the customers have left. Or, if he gets new vendors in time without making changes they will soon leave as they wont put up with the shit either..... Its like any other employee/independent contractor strike.... If you get enough people to stand up for change you grievance will be heard. If you'd rather just complain to those who have nothing to do with it, all you get is venting, but nothing changes. Personally I'd rather go through the struggle of making change for the better than just rolling over and accepting the status quo...

 

[Rickrock]

No, I don't believe in smacking a child, but it is hard to remember this in the moment. In any case a smack on the behind with a bare hand and not a sturdy stick might not be too bad if done rarely, but never a slap in the face or using anything that would cause damage like a belt or heavy stick.

I can't believe how many comments on this subject and the length of this thread.

 

[kev]

To "smack" means slapping in the face with the palmar surface of the hand...this is denigrating and humiliating...not something a parent should do.

Spanking on the bottom (with pants or a diaper on) is okay, as long it is under the age of 7-8, and no more than two or three open-handed swats...and this should only be done when the child is in direct defiance of the parent.

Children need, want, and crave discipline...and mostly the non-spanking kind.

 

[LeicsDom]

Ever been to the grocery store and watched kids running up/down the aisles? Watch them grabbing things off the shelves that they want and throwing a temper tantrum when they can't have it? Especially at the check out stand and they want candy. Guess what? All children are like that today.

That is down to bad parenting, not bad children
The parents deserve the slap!

 

[rareboy]

To "smack" means slapping in the face with the palmar surface of the hand...this is denigrating and humiliating...not something a parent should do.

Spanking on the bottom (with pants or a diaper on) is okay, as long it is under the age of 7-8, and no more than two or three open-handed swats...and this should only be done when the child is in direct defiance of the parent.

Children need, want, and crave discipline...and mostly the non-spanking kind.

Thanks for setting out the rules on how to do it right, there.

Yeah.

What kid doesn't crave spanking?

Right.

Too fucked up by half.

 

[Willie Boy]

What kid doesn't crave spanking?

Most kids don't desire punishment....... beyond those whose fetishes have piqued early......

But discipline as a whole is NOT punishment, punishment is but a small section of discipline, the often overused section. Kids do want discipline, they need consistency. They need to know their parents are there, and have "everything" under control, that they will protect them, even if it is just from getting out of hand. Kids need parents to draw the lines for them to "color" within. Even if, upon growing up, they do not agree with all of those lines..... They've at least learned how to live within the boundaries of society's rules, as well as properly challenge those rules they feel are incorrect.

 

[Keeland]

Children need, want, and crave discipline...

The doctor is in. 5¢.

 

[sixthson]

What kid doesn't crave spanking?

I can only assume you deliberately ignored the last part of that sentence "and mostly the non-spanking kind".

Discipline is about training a child. A child learns about obedience from discipline. If a child is disobedient at home,he will disobey at school, the work place and everywhere else. Discipline provides a child with boundaries about right and wrong and how to treat others, so yes, they do want to know how to behave.

Discipline is tailored to the child. What works for one, doesn't necessarily work for another. Some need spankings, others don't.
Good parents don't spank out of anger and they certainly don't enjoy doing it. Bad parents spank when they are angry or in a rage. It makes them feel better and does nothing for the child except maybe cause resentment. Unfortunately, it's usually the bad parent that gets all the attention.

 

[jbrown329]

Then you're just S.O.L. If all you want to do is complain that somebody else isn't doing what you expect they should do. On the one hand I agree that the parents need to be controlling their kids if they're going to bring them...... But that isn't the way it is. So go ahead and complain and nothing changes. I offered the suggestion that you bring up the situation to those in charge with possible solutions that you could give, you refuse to do that because your complaining seems a better choice for you..... You chose that line of work because it kept the overhead lower, no need for a location of your own or advertising to bring in customers on your own. You have to deal with the rules of the venue/promoter. You are encountering problems and need to have them addressed, but if you don't voice them nothing will change. It is on you to let the promoter know what you need. If he/she refuses to do anything then you get everyone together who is affected and threaten to leave. The idea of lost revenue from individual crafters leaving will get his attention He pays for the use of the fairgrounds but no one pays him, he loses bigtime. Customers go away if there's nothing to see/buy, then even if he finds new vendors he's got nothing to keep them as the customers have left. Or, if he gets new vendors in time without making changes they will soon leave as they wont put up with the shit either..... Its like any other employee/independent contractor strike.... If you get enough people to stand up for change you grievance will be heard. If you'd rather just complain to those who have nothing to do with it, all you get is venting, but nothing changes. Personally I'd rather go through the struggle of making change for the better than just rolling over and accepting the status quo...

Would you front me the thousands of dollars so I could open my own venue? Yeah, I didn't think that you would. Are you going to front the money needed for television and print ads? Yeah, I didn't think you would with that either.

Sure, complain to damn loud and the promoter tells you to take a hike. There were long waiting lists to get in those shows. When we quit doing shows, there was no problem getting someone else to take our place. Even if it was at the last minute. And this was all before the internet. You have no damn clue how hard it was to find shows.

And again, you have no clue.

I guess we should've just made stuff that wouldn't draw attention from children. We could've made bread boxes.

It wasn't my job making their spoiled brats mind. They weren't my children. I'm not talking about beating the crap out of them with a belt. I'm not talking about using a razor strap on them. I'm not talking about using a switch on them. I'm talking about an open handed swat (or two) on the ass.

I guess that you have no concept on the difference between a spanking and a beating.

 

[Willie Boy]

Would you front me the thousands of dollars so I could open my own venue? Yeah, I didn't think that you would. Are you going to front the money needed for television and print ads? Yeah, I didn't think you would with that either.

Sure, complain to damn loud and the promoter tells you to take a hike. There were long waiting lists to get in those shows. When we quit doing shows, there was no problem getting someone else to take our place. Even if it was at the last minute. And this was all before the internet. You have no damn clue how hard it was to find shows.

And again, you have no clue.

I guess we should've just made stuff that wouldn't draw attention from children. We could've made bread boxes.

It wasn't my job making their spoiled brats mind. They weren't my children. I'm not talking about beating the crap out of them with a belt. I'm not talking about using a razor strap on them. I'm not talking about using a switch on them. I'm talking about an open handed swat (or two) on the ass.

I guess that you have no concept on the difference between a spanking and a beating.

Why don't you just do what nearly everybody else has had to do since the beginning of the whole work thing and get a "normal" job to earn and save up money so you can open your own venue? Or do what the little kiddies do these days with the internet and all, start a gofundme or kickstarter page to get the money? Or do the old standby of getting a lone?

Why is every single one of your responses about expecting others to do for you what you refuse to do for yourself? It is your life, your future.... If you refuse to take action to make a difference don't expect others to jump in and do it for you.... we ain't your parents and you ain't a little baby...... Well, OK, I could be wrong about the last bit, Heaven knows you're whining like one.

 

[rareboy]

I can only assume you deliberately ignored the last part of that sentence "and mostly the non-spanking kind".

Discipline is about training a child. A child learns about obedience from discipline. If a child is disobedient at home,he will disobey at school, the work place and everywhere else. Discipline provides a child with boundaries about right and wrong and how to treat others, so yes, they do want to know how to behave.

Discipline is tailored to the child. What works for one, doesn't necessarily work for another. Some need spankings, others don't.
Good parents don't spank out of anger and they certainly don't enjoy doing it. Bad parents spank when they are angry or in a rage. It makes them feel better and does nothing for the child except maybe cause resentment. Unfortunately, it's usually the bad parent that gets all the attention.

I didn't miss the last part of the sentence.

But I doubt is any child even remotely 'craves' physical discipline.

If they do, then there is something else pretty fucked up going on.

 

[jbrown329]

Why don't you just do what nearly everybody else has had to do since the beginning of the whole work thing and get a "normal" job to earn and save up money so you can open your own venue? Or do what the little kiddies do these days with the internet and all, start a gofundme or kickstarter page to get the money? Or do the old standby of getting a lone?

Why is every single one of your responses about expecting others to do for you what you refuse to do for yourself? It is your life, your future.... If you refuse to take action to make a difference don't expect others to jump in and do it for you.... we ain't your parents and you ain't a little baby...... Well, OK, I could be wrong about the last bit, Heaven knows you're whining like one.

 

[peeonme]

To "smack" means slapping in the face with the palmar surface of the hand...this is denigrating and humiliating...not something a parent should do.

Spanking on the bottom (with pants or a diaper on) is okay, as long it is under the age of 7-8, and no more than two or three open-handed swats...and this should only be done when the child is in direct defiance of the parent.

Children need, want, and crave discipline...and mostly the non-spanking kind.

Children need, want, and crave attention, mostly the loving kind.
Ignore a child and they misbehave, go bowling, play golf, hit the bars and your child will do what they can to get your attention.
I remember working 10 hours on my feet, driving home and having my son meet me at the car with a ball and two baseball gloves, we played catch until dinner was ready.
Saturdays in the summer were spent at the lake in our little boat pretending that we were fisherman, Sundays were spent in the garage fixing the old clunker that pulled our boat to the lake.

My son drove the neighbors crazy because he played and made noise, built skate board ramps and even had a cap gun. He was not roaming the streets while I soaked in the suds.

He had a hard time getting away from me to find time to do something that would warrant him getting smacked.

 

[jbrown329]

When I was 10, my step dad and his dad were rebuilding the engine in the step dad's pickup. I was in the garage with them. The transmission of the truck was sitting on saw horses and I started playing with the shift rods. Step dad told me to quit. I didn't. He swatted me on the ass and and said "I told you to stop that". I stopped, left the garage and went to a friend's house to play.

He was really worried that I'd go to mom and tell her. Because mom told him when they got married that he was never to spank my brother or I. What she really meant was beat (that's what her boyfriend did to me years before). I didn't go to mom. I guess he felt guilty because he told mom what I did and what he did. She had no problem with what he did.

After that, when he said no, I listened. I was never afraid of him. And he was the only dad that I knew. I both respected him and loved him.

I speak from experience. I had both spankings and beatings. The spankings I deserved. I didn't deserve the beatings. So I damn well know the difference.

 

[Willie Boy]

And that is why your problems are never resolved. You whine and cry but don't listen. meh, its your life to enjoy (such as it is).

 

[peeonme]

When I was 10, my step dad and his dad were rebuilding the engine in the step dad's pickup. I was in the garage with them. The transmission of the truck was sitting on saw horses and I started playing with the shift rods. Step dad told me to quit. I didn't. He swatted me on the ass and and said "I told you to stop that". I stopped, left the garage and went to a friend's house to play.

He was really worried that I'd go to mom and tell her. Because mom told him when they got married that he was never to spank my brother or I. What she really meant was beat (that's what her boyfriend did to me years before). I didn't go to mom. I guess he felt guilty because he told mom what I did and what he did. She had no problem with what he did.

After that, when he said no, I listened. I was never afraid of him. And he was the only dad that I knew. I both respected him and loved him.

I speak from experience. I had both spankings and beatings. The spankings I deserved. I didn't deserve the beatings. So I damn well know the difference.

This is a great story, a swat such as that was meant to get you attention and reinforce the verbal. This is hardly even punishment, more
of a teaching incident.
What I have a problem with is someone repeating the swat on the butt until they see tears.