Do You Ever Feel Ugly?

[Swellegant]

I've frequently felt ugly. Especially from the neck down... I've always disliked my body and how it looked. My face, not so much anymore, though in my youth I worried about it a great deal: the high hairline, the thin mouth, the iffy skintone, the neither-here-nor-there eye color. I did a lot to try and counteract the imagined shortcomings of my face. It's one of the reasons I got into drag: I made a gorgeous woman, while being not so hot as a boy.

Of course, now I look at pictures of myself from back then and am impressed by how cute I was. But I think I am more attractive now that I'm older. Not pretty, but more distinguished and approachable, more comfortable in my own skin which makes a person more attractive. Except of course from the neck down, I dislike my body even more since it's started to sag and carry fat.

But since it occurred to me that I'm not interested in attracting a mate, it stopped mattering. I like looking my best, grooming and dressing myself as well as I can, just because it gives me something to do and makes looking in a mirror less painful; but I just don't really care anymore if I'm handsome or ugly. It's so beyond one's control, while being well-dressed and well-groomed is within the realm of choice.

 

[chance1]

someone dropped this on my facebook page - pretty funny - 1/2 funny 1/2 true

WHY GAY MEN HATE THEIR BODIES

Hommemaker | Hommemaking with Orlando Soria!

for me, it's all about confidence - most of the time I have it and I'm playing to win - feeling confident about me, my looks, etc.

When it's not there - when I'm not feeling it - I feel ugly, not so interesting, etc.

the key is to stay on even keel

I was on vacation this week in Provincetown - for a couple of days - in a place/culture where beauty is revered - an interesting combination of young party animals and older guys - bears plus - some with the youth complex, others more chill

it was interesting to watch

I'm not a photogenic person - my eyes seem to squint, my smile line tends to turn up - it is what it is

i don't let that bother me - it's more about connecting with people - that's what's key - do they like u - do u like yourself - are you "in the game"

everyone has good qualities - some have more than others - physically

accentuate the good - accept the not so good

me? I have great guns - so I showcase them

i'm not as tall as i'd like - 5'8 - 5'9 - boo - used to bother me - not so much anymore

i'm rambling

i totally get where people are coming from - but thinking negative thoughts about your body/looks is bad news - and it drags the whole thing down

 

[HunterM]

Pfft...this is the 21st century. Anything is possible! If you don't like your face, you can change it...like these people.

 

[refujiunderground]

You feel so "ugly" that you've used your own face as your avatar and profile photo here for years and no one has ever once commented on your birthmark? Uh-huh, okay. I'm calling bullshit on your entire post. You actually show up every time I'm on Grindr (roughly 700+ feet away) and I never noticed a birthmark.

For the record. I have a small birthmark under my nose that got me teased for having a "boogie" all throughout grade school. People don't notice it now, because I have just enough facial hair to hide it. Of course, not enough to grow a decent mustache.

seriously speaking, i'm saying this as someone who cares. you really need to kill that pity party shit and start working on loving yourself. you most definitely aren't going to find somebody that wants to be with you if you keep acting like that towards yourself.

 

[Audio Tech]

I just realized that maybe I'm not quite as handsome as I thought.....

 

[yeahright1991]

Bullshit on my entire post?

I'm actually offended.. probably b/c I've had a rough week, but I'm still pissed off.

Here's a tres gay picture from 4-5 years ago. I was actually pissed enough to go searching for a pic on my old myspace profile. Just because it doesnt show up in some pictures doesn't mean it's not there and TRUST ME, it's obvious in person. It covers pretty much my entire right cheek up to and including part of my eyelid.
It's hard to feel bad for you when you're coming off like a dick. Other people deal with shit too.

Receipt noted - sorry people doubted you especially on something that can cause you to empathise with the topic. -hugs-

 

[Kabluey]

Enough hotties in this thread, but kind of reassuring to see that not everyone realises they're as attractive as they are.
And to see that even really attractive people can focus on their own flaws, no matter what the big picture looks like.

 

[Kabluey]

^ Likewise, buster.

 

[refujiunderground]

Since when am I looking for someone to be with me?

as if your threads don't say it. you try way too hard to letting the whole world know that you're happy being single. i don't think that's really the case though, breh.

 

[refujiunderground]

Every problem I bitch about on here has to do with things other than my single status. If I'm open about the fact I often find myself hideous, hate my career, or even the fact that I hate the size of my dick, what the fuck would be the purpose of lying about needing to be coupled? That makes no sense.

Why is it that when people go on and on and on about how happy they are in their relationships without ever being accused of "trying too har," why is it oh so awful for me to say that I don't need one to be happy?

Oh, right. Because it goes against your closed-minded views. *yawn*

i didn't say anything else about you besides you having to reiterate that you're proud of your single status for someone who's content with being single. let's focus on that.

 

[yeahright1991]

as if your threads don't say it. you try way too hard to letting the whole world know that you're happy being single. i don't think that's really the case though, breh.

Let me hop on in here. In a conventional sense....I would agree with you. BUT because op is always talking about who and how he's fucking someone off grinder and other websites.....I don't think it's that he's trying to act like that. He's let it be known that he's loose. Which for me says....that this thread is disproven because he's always ho-ing and most people cant be whores and ugly OR his drive to continue (reckless - i believe he mentioned fucking a meth addict) behaviour is to counter self-esteem issues by proving to himself that he can get laid.....

In any other case though - I would agree that your right on the "trying too hard comment"

 

[refujiunderground]

Let me hop on in here. In a conventional sense....I would agree with you. BUT because op is always talking about who and how he's fucking someone off grinder and other websites.....I don't think it's that he's trying to act like that. He's let it be known that he's loose. Which for me says....that this thread is disproven because he's always ho-ing and most people cant be whores and ugly OR his drive to continue (reckless - i believe he mentioned fucking a meth addict) behaviour is to counter self-esteem issues by proving to himself that he can get laid.....

In any other case though - I would agree that your right on the "trying too hard comment"

well, he did say in some other thread that in most of the cases where he's fucked somebody, it was that somebody that approached him since he doesn't do much approaching himself. but then again, this thread is basically him saying he has a self esteem problem and the only person that can fix them is himself because nobody else isn't going to get that through to him.

 

[windsors]

Pfft...this is the 21st century. Anything is possible! If you don't like your face, you can change it...like these people.

No thanks, I'll keep what I have.

 

[refujiunderground]

Pfft...this is the 21st century. Anything is possible! If you don't like your face, you can change it...like these people.

this is why i plan on dying with my face being the way it is than changing it. they might make me look uglier than i already am. all of those dudes don't even look bad at all. they look handsome and they look ugly as fuck with the comestic surgery. who the hell is their advisors? especially mickey rouke and michael jackson? wtf?

 

[yeahright1991]

I'm on the Joan Rivers plan for success - for the record.

 

[yeahright1991]

^

You guys are Fucking hilarious!

I see no counter points, no refutation and no contrary thought.
Therefore, I think I / we are on to something.

 

[refujiunderground]

I think it's silly to suggest that I have sex with men to prove I can do it when I don't even see those acts as accomplishments. There is no thrill of the conquest here. I go to apps or clubs where I hook up with promiscuous men easily and without much effort.

I actually openly discussed considering paying for sex right on these boards. At that point, what would I be "proving"? That I can strum up $200+ dollars at a given moment?

Don't make me bump the old "Why Are You So Promiscuous?" Thread. I gave a list of amazing reasons while I hook up with many guys. Never imagined that simply being horny would do the trick?

Refu's other argument was ridiculous. It was basically "I see the world this way, so if you see it another way, you must be lying to yourself."

but it all boils down to you being not completely confident with being single. we all know by now that you're not so stop fronting like you are.

 

[yeahright1991]

I think it's silly to suggest that I have sex with men to prove I can do it when I don't even see those acts as accomplishments. There is no thrill of the conquest here. I go to apps or clubs where I hook up with promiscuous men easily and without much effort.

I actually openly discussed considering paying for sex right on these boards. At that point, what would I be "proving"? That I can strum up $200+ dollars at a given moment?

Don't make me bump the old "Why Are You So Promiscuous?" Thread. I gave a list of amazing reasons while I hook up with many guys. Never imagined that simply being horny would do the trick?

Refu's other argument was ridiculous. It was basically "I see the world this way, so if you see it another way, you must be lying to yourself."

"where I hookup with promiscuous men" - and are you claiming that they are the bad people? Because I think you fall in the category of promiscuous as well. I mean if you are shading them for being loose and easy - that's the pot calling the kettle black.

 

[yeahright1991]

And just to stay on topic -. If it is the case that you hookup with people so easy, why would you feel ugly?. I could make the assumption that the people aren't fulfilling (easy/ugly) and thus aren't doing anything for your self esteem. As for payment - if the thought has to cross your mind , it backs up that something about the easy sex is not fulfilling. I don't know what and I am not going to speculate but something isn't being met in your mind if the thought of having to pay for it has come up.

And ugh...the thought of payment to get in someone's pants who wouldn't let you have it otherwise - I couldn't stand it. I have been on the other side of that (for well more than a piddly 200 dollars) and felt disgusting and declined the offers. A). The men . B). The sex would feel more like a transaction than fun. C). The men. That is an aside/tangent however, I am more concerned about the response to the first paragraph.

 

[menRsexii]

i feel ugly or freakish quite a lot. i have lots and lots of "beauty marks" all over my body and face. honestly, its even developed into a disorder that im trying to combat currently with my therapist. i feel im getting better but i take it one step at a time.