Do You Think Growing Older is Harder For Gay Men ?

[belamy]

And whoever made the comment about men getting better looking as they get older and women looking worse is absolutely wrong.

I think what is actually meant is that men MAY win by getting older, while women INVARIABLY lose.
But I agree with those who find the idea that rotting (outside and inside) old farts like, say, Sean Connery, ARE somehow "objectively" attractive. I don't get how people can agree so easily that Roquefort is disgusting and not think the same about touching William Forrester without gloves.

 

[Crackberry]

I think what is actually meant is that men MAY win by getting older, while women INVARIABLY lose.
But I agree with those who find the idea that rotting (outside and inside) old farts like, say, Sean Connery, ARE somehow "objectively" attractive. I don't get how people can agree so easily that Roquefort is disgusting and not think the same about touching William Forrester without gloves.

I don't think that's what the person I was replying to meant (could be wrong if they would like to clarify) but I agree with your statement.

And I was in no way trying to say that there aren't a lot of older men who are attractive, merely that I don't think men age any better than women. I think we simply have higher standards of beauty for women.

 

[belamy]

I don't think that's what the person I was replying to meant (could be wrong if they would like to clarify) but I agree with your statement.

And I was in no way trying to say that there aren't a lot of older men who are attractive, merely that I don't think men age any better than women. I think we simply have higher standards of beauty for women.

I wasn't talking about "that person" but, as I said, what is usually, generally meant.
I wouldn't qualify those standards as "higher", they are simply far more restricted: a woman is supposed to [STRIKE]fade away[/STRIKE] die after her early twenties and become a worm who should hide inside a cocoon, while men only become so until after 30 and, rather, 40. And all that is something women are usually the first one to agree with...

 

[JasunStrikesBack]

Let's not forget that the older gay community is only now just recovering from HIV.

20 years ago, most of the older men died... it was awful.

We lost so many people.

All we saw were hot young things and thought that THAT was all gay people liked.

But like I said... I went to a pool party on Sunday with LOTS of hot men.. all older... The gay community appreciates older men better than the straight community does, I think. Yeah.. the men work out, stay in shape, stay healthy, stay well. What's wrong with that?

 

[belamy]

Let's not forget that the older gay community is only now just recovering from HIV.

20 years ago, most of the older men died... it was awful.

We lost so many people.

All we saw were hot young things and thought that THAT was all gay people liked.

.................

 

[youngnihilist]

How is it bad? Even if you're an older guy into young guys, TONS of young guys are into "older". And that includes old and out of shape.

 

[Jory]

30's were never an issue. It is when you hit 40 when things really change on how they look at you. It is the cut off date for most gay people.

Sounds like I should just go back into the closet

 

[Jory]

Let's not forget that the older gay community is only now just recovering from HIV.

20 years ago, most of the older men died... it was awful.

We lost so many people.

All we saw were hot young things and thought that THAT was all gay people liked.

But like I said... I went to a pool party on Sunday with LOTS of hot men.. all older... The gay community appreciates older men better than the straight community does, I think. Yeah.. the men work out, stay in shape, stay healthy, stay well. What's wrong with that?

There is nothing wrong with staying shap only when they have to brag how many days a week they workout

 

[PabloZed]

It is difficult to quantify "harder" but the simple fact that more gay men are single and/or without family as they grow older at least on the surface suggests its more difficult for gay than straight men. One of the things one notices as a gay man is that almost every straight guy you know has a girlfriend and as you grow older almost every straight man has a wife. Indeed, the telltale sign of a gay man has always been singledom because straightmen always have a girl, even if he is overweight, out of shape, or frankly not that attractive. Gay men who fall into those categories are more likely to be single simply because men are more superficial than women.

Thus, as gay men grow older many do not have a family and even many who have significant others don't have children around whom life revolves for older straights. Think about the last few weeks as kids were graduating (at least in America). So many proud parents and there were certainly some gay parents among them, but they were a small minority. It is one of the many rituals that gays miss out on as many tend to be childless.

So my conclusion is that growing older is more challenging for gay men because it seems to mean a lonelier existence.

 

[Joshua_me]

It is difficult to quantify "harder" but the simple fact that more gay men are single and/or without family as they grow older at least on the surface suggests its more difficult for gay than straight men. One of the things one notices as a gay man is that almost every straight guy you know has a girlfriend and as you grow older almost every straight man has a wife. Indeed, the telltale sign of a gay man has always been singledom because straightmen always have a girl, even if he is overweight, out of shape, or frankly not that attractive. Gay men who fall into those categories are more likely to be single simply because men are more superficial than women.

Thus, as gay men grow older many do not have a family and even many who have significant others don't have children around whom life revolves for older straights. Think about the last few weeks as kids were graduating (at least in America). So many proud parents and there were certainly some gay parents among them, but they were a small minority. It is one of the many rituals that gays miss out on as many tend to be childless.

So my conclusion is that growing older is more challenging for gay men because it seems to mean a lonelier existence.

Damn !

You sure write purty, Pablo.

What an intelligent reply.

I think you summed it up perfectly.

 

[Shepherd 2]

Metta, so forty is the cut off date. What and who is cutting? So I was to acknowledge that this happened for me thirty years ago. I do not think so.

I am a pastor of nearly fifty years, and my experience tells me that sexual orientation is not the important variable for men getting old or older. The concerns I am having are no different that the heterosexual men that I know.

Honestly, at sixty-nine I am beginning to have the mature senior health problems, and it has caused me to be less active here at JUB for the past month. In my bed with me partner, it is life as usual, and we are quite active, and it does not seem to be slowing down.

My personal observation is that it is when we give into worrying about the aging process and feeling sorry for ourselves that we hit the wall. I say, "Tear the damn wall down." Live the gay life.

Shep+

 

[Ontariobear]

Hubby and I were both over 40 when we met and we're far happier than most of our straight friends who are either in the middle of divorcing, a mid-life crisis, some combination of the two and the obligatory Corvette-type toys that they can't afford to prove to themselves that they've still got it.