The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • Hi Guest - Did you know?
    Hot Topics is a Safe for Work (SFW) forum.

Do you think it's weird for a 22 year old man to date a 53 year old man?

M

matty20

Slut
Banned
Joined
May 8, 2011
Posts
212
Reaction score
0
Points
0
I am 22. I've been going out with a 53 year old for about three weeks now. I AM interested in him, and have no hesitations or reservations about having sex with him (we haven't done so yet), but my friends and family don't like the idea of me dating him long term. My father is only just coming around to me being gay after about 3 years, and is threatening to completely cut me off if I do, and he thinks that I would be setting even more of a bad example (already bad because I date men) to my 3 year old son, who I had before I "discovered" I was gay.

Long and confusing story, I know, but just wondering if anyone could offer (possibly from personal experience) some useful adivce? Thanks.
 
I guess make sure you play safe, have a clear understanding of what each person wants from a potential relationship and clear boundaries so neither of you feel unfairly beholden to the other.
 
I think it takes people time to get used to someone dating an older man, but ultimately either they accept you, or you figure out a way to reduce their influence in your life.

I am dating and have dated older men. Generally the biggest issue is where he is at in his life versus where you are at in your life. There's also the pop cultural gap that may need to be bridged. It helps if you are both open-minded and willing to try new things.
 
Weird in my opinion yes. But it's your life and your choice. I want to date someone my own age plus or minus a few years, If I meet someone 10 years either way and we click that is fine, but it's not what I'm looking for.
 
It's only weird if you make it weird. 31 years is quite a difference but love is blind.

I had a 20 year relationship with a man old enough to be my father (19 year difference, I was the younger). It ended with his death of cancer. I miss him terribly and it was the best time of my life. We would still be together if he hadn't died.
 
matty20 said:
I am 22. I've been going out with a 53 year old for about three weeks now. I AM interested in him, and have no hesitations or reservations about having sex with him (we haven't done so yet), but my friends and family don't like the idea of me dating him long term. My father is only just coming around to me being gay after about 3 years, and is threatening to completely cut me off if I do, and he thinks that I would be setting even more of a bad example (already bad because I date men) to my 3 year old son, who I had before I "discovered" I was gay.

Long and confusing story, I know, but just wondering if anyone could offer (possibly from personal experience) some useful adivce? Thanks.
Click to expand...

What is it about him that interests you? You don't tell us what it is about him that you like.

You do, though, mention that you're attracted and willing to have sex with him. And apparently he's around your dad's age.

You then mention that you have a son. Which seems a bit inconsequential to the story really.

Yet you mention that your dad, while maybe coming round to your homosexuality, hates the fact you want to date or have sex with a man roughly his same age.

Do you see where I'm going with any of this...?

I really think that if you want real advice and feedback, you have be honest about and more specific about what it is about this particular man that you find to be so attractive or of any interest to you.

Thus far, all that I hear in your post are several stratified layers of daddy-son attractions, fantasies, issues and problems.
 
You know there are enough unhappy and pissed off people in the world. If it makes you happy, and is not hurting anyone else, go for it. If the r-ship fails in 2 months, fine but at least you tried. Maybe it will be the road to happiness, who knows.
 
It is rather strange, quite a big age difference tbh. But if you guys genuinely like each other then don't bother about what people think.
 
there ia thang wot go
yoou take this Dildo be ya woteva ans blabla?
% yea %
same ta you bblabla
@ yea @
done now piss off

ans da lot folk throw ther shoes ans play end a star wars of da teddy bears every a happy and alll go bye bye now

there go

thankyou
 
I'd say you're doing it right. Too many people look at age-differing relationships two ways: "bad idea" and "age ain't nothing but a number". And I think they're both wrong. These relationships can work, but you can't ignore the age differences or pretend they're not important. You have to deal with the issues that arise, remember you're in different parts of your lives, and accept that people may loook aaskance at it. So long as you can do that, I don't see the issue.

Lex
 
If you are happy with the relationship I think it is ok, but the weirdness has more to do with your family's acceptance of it. I guess your father is about the same age as this man. So I'm sure your father will feel weird with you being with someone his age. And your father probably will have trouble thinking that this man has true feelings for you , thus he worries about your well being. Not that you couldnt be hurt by someone your own age, it would be like your father getting remarried to a 22 year old. I'm not sure why you dating an older man is a bad example for your son, but again your father is just concerned with the well being of his grandson.
 
Personally I find it weird; creepy, even, from the older guy's perspective. But I'll accept that that might be just me.

-d-
 
Sorry to be cynical, but are you sure he won't throw you over for someone younger when you turn 23?
 
CupidBoy said:
I think what sloppy is saying is that love is blind and you have to follow your heart, also something about a dildo and a teddy bear. There you go.


thank you
Click to expand...

:lol:

Have your father and this gentleman met? It may give you an idea if this is going to turn into a train wreck with your family. If you like this guy, go for it.
 
Oddly enough, I can understand the attraction of the younger for the older, but when a guy in his 40s, 50s or older is primarily attracted to guy 25 and 30 years younger, it feels creepy to me. I can't explain why I feel that way.

In the OP's case, his friends and family are dealing with a double whammy: him being gay and his attraction to older guys. Although, I suspect if he were straight and brought home a 50 something gf, they would be concerned about that, too.

To the OP, since you are inexperienced at relationships, just get to know the guy, perhaps you will feel differenly about him in time or maybe time will confirm your attractions. Either way, you can only live today.
 
It's great you are happy right now in this relationship and age does not matter. If you plan on making this a long-term thing, I just hope that when he is 70 and you are 40 you don't break his heart when he will need your companionship the most.
 
I don't find anything odd about it. The heart wants what the heart wants. If you truly want to keep it up with him then thats between you and him. Your father will come around eventually, especially if he wants to see his grandson.
 
If you guys can spend time together and the conversation and interest are there age isn't a real problem in the short term.
I have a friend who I hike with and we hang out drinking sometimes. He is a peer in all aspects and a avid hiker interested in extremely hard core hikes of back wood swamps loaded with nasty crap like bugs and snakes that most can't do with me or don't want to.
He isn't a love interest or even gay. One day I realized when he brought his age up that he is nearly 25 yrs older then I. But I've considered him a peer and never looked at age until that day he casually brought up.
On the other hand I hang out with lots of people younger because of playing heavy metal. The friendships work well because the interest is there.
A long term relationship with a guy 23 and 54 would be problematic because of different physical aspects of life, but not because 2 couldn't have a great deal in common.
I'm not talking about the Daddy & Son thing that's different.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top