Do you think it's weird for a 22 year old man to date a 53 year old man?

[Native Son]

It's weird. Get over it. 'Cause your peers won't.

 

[Native Son]

It is weird. Make no bones.

But let me amend my statement. It's weird for ME.

Not like I give a damn what anyone else does. Knock yourselves out, May-December.

 

[Native Son]

Having acquired 47 summer solstices and since joining Prime Timers, I am now much more social and friendly with guys who have at least a couple of decades on me and made me incredibly uncomfortable with lascivious proposals when I was a twentysomething. I know a few couples with age differences into the decades - doesn't seem odd enough to rant about. Having dated some pretty immature jackasses nearly 8 years my senior, I've decided I'm ready for someone younger and hotter, so long as they've got their head screwed on reasonably well. Immaturity comes in all age groups.

As far as Daddy goes, I was in love with a guy with a young son, and the son knew I loved his father and wanted us to date. It wasn't the son's decision; it was his father's.

Now you're much more more social? What changed, if I may ask?

 

[BillyT]

I am older than your friend and never dated anyone more than 7 years younger than me, but I know death can come at anytime. What would it do to as he gets older and has more age related problems and you didn't have as much time togeather. Do you think you can handle the loss.

 

[mattheus]

I am 31 years old and I'd let Billy Idol pound it, same thing with the old commander dude on Stargate SG-1 and they are in shape, have six packs etc. they are older than my dad too... when I was 14, I was gladly getting pounded out by a 28 year old, he was hot, I didn't care... I would never do that though, 21 is my limit.

Sadly, I look like I am in my early 20's so I get creeper 15 year old emo kids that dig my sleeve tattoos and will bug me and even when they know I am 31, I still get hit on and because I am masculine, I have to avoid them. I told them I would tutor them or mentor them a little bit but as far as sex talk or them asking me out or saying they want me to have sex with them and shit, I said no way... I told them it was child abuse and they are too immature to understand what I mean by that...

 

[medic1]

You may be right , have read my post a few times and it does appear that i have misread the intention of the
original post , please accept my sincere apologies , there is not much worse than calling yourself a prick on an open forum
but yep i think that you are correct .

To the other guy,s i am truly sorry for such a stupid offence , i would be very happy if you would accept this dickhead,s
apology .

 

[G-Lexington]

This isn't directed at you specifically loki, but when ever this subject comes up, so too does the ambiguous phrase 'different stages of life'. Can somebody please explain to me what this is referring to specifically, and also how it supposedly creates an insurmountable dissimilarity between two people?.

it's a phrase *I* use often when discussing this topic, but I think you're aware that I don't feel the differences are insurmountable. My issue is that many people get into these relationships thinking that there aren't any issues at all ("age ain't nothing but a number")...and THAT's when the friction is at its worst. Because these differences aren't addressed. Both parties need to know and be aware that "my partner probably has a different mindset and list of priorities than I do". The older guy, for instance, might have to remember that staying up until dawn isn't so difficult in your 20s, and is in fact considered a bit of a challenge. (You "beat the night", as it were.) And the younger one may have to accept that the older guy can't just "call in sick" and spend the day crashing in bed. Of course, I'm using stereotypical examples here - the older guy as the well-paid fuddy-duddy, for instance. But in general, chances are greater for ths sort of disparity when couples are at diffeent ages. And the smart play isn't to say they don't exist, OR to say they can't be overcome. It's to actively work on overcoming them.

Lex

 

[Anders123]

See I still think that's more an issue of personal characteristics and incompatibility than it is inter-generational differences. For instance, whereas I have the capability to stay up all night, I'm disinclined to do so unless it involves studying, writing, or lots and lots of sex. A friend my age, however, might make a habit out of doing it most weekends. He might also occasionally blow off his work or university responsibilities to sleep in and play xbox, espouse different values to me, and place importance on things I feel to be insignificant whilst ignoring a lot of what I feel to be important. Without this thread and my personality as context, would your first thought be that he and I are at different stages of life? Or would you just say that our personalities are simply incompatible for a relationship?

Conversely, say there was a man in his late thirties with whom I shared a lot of common ground; we shared similar hobbies and interests, we valued the same things in life, and got along really well in general. Would it then be said that he and I were at the 'same stage of life'? Of course not, because the phrase itself makes absolutely no sense. Everybody matures and develops differently, and there is no reason to assume that one's priorities will equal x because they are x years old.

Either way, I would expect that every mature relationship involves both people sitting down together to discuss pragmatic ways they can overcome any issues that may arise; regardless of their individual circumstances. And I would expect that sacrifice or compromise is inevitable when sharing your life with someone; not just someone significantly older or younger than yourself. It just seems nonsensical to me that people bother applying generalities and stating that one type of relationship is inherently more difficult than another, when every single relationship is different and sweeping statements simply cannot apply.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

so da 2 dudes wot topic is about gettin it onnnnnn?

wanna ears da love machine of luveeeeee is workins

ha

 

[Ryuukie]

It's great you are happy right now in this relationship and age does not matter. If you plan on making this a long-term thing, I just hope that when he is 70 and you are 40 you don't break his heart when he will need your companionship the most.

Pretty poignant.

 

[Kulindahr]

Anders has a point. I think the generational aspect has a big weight, though. People in their fifties and up hardly know what an xBox is, have never figured out Pokemon, and don't get the slang of those under twenty-five. Those really no common culture, like there was back in WW II for example, so communication is difficult.

But for those who can leap the gap -- great.

 

[jmadaf]

No, I am an older man and I always think it's hot when young guys flirt, with me, I love being their bottom.

 

[MissAnne]

Definately not for me. I would probably have a problem with my kid dating someone that age as well. It does have a creepy aspect to it. However, what can you do ? If the young person is 18, there isnt much that you can say. I know a lesbian couple like that. The girl is my age, 23 and she is dating a 40 something year old woman. Her family doesnt like it and of course she moved in with the woman because the older lady has a home and money to spare.

I know that a lot of people are weirded out by an older person touching all over a young, tight body. But I also find it strange that some young people like to offer up their bodies just so they can bleed an older person dry and then leave them for someone young once they are finished with them.

 

[jmadaf]

We know what xbox is and such, we just like alot of one on one, all that technology is so impersonal to some of us.

 

[G-Lexington]

Either way, I would expect that every mature relationship involves both people sitting down together to discuss pragmatic ways they can overcome any issues that may arise; regardless of their individual circumstances. And I would expect that sacrifice or compromise is inevitable when sharing your life with someone; not just someone significantly older or younger than yourself. It just seems nonsensical to me that people bother applying generalities and stating that one type of relationship is inherently more difficult than another, when every single relationship is different and sweeping statements simply cannot apply.

I'm playing a numbers game, that's all. I DO think that age-disparate relationships have more hazards than same-age ones. That doesn't mean that all age-disparate relationships are doomed to fail, any more than it means same-age ones always work. And yes, mature relationships involve sitting down and discussing problem areas, and working through compromise and sacrifice. But you know that many relationships aren't that mature. And that's why I suggest looking at the problem areas. In an effort to get would-be participants in such a relationship to try to deal with it in a mature way.

Lex

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

Anders has a point. I think the generational aspect has a big weight, though. People in their fifties and up hardly know what an xBox is, have never figured out Pokemon, and don't get the slang of those under twenty-five. Those really no common culture, like there was back in WW II for example, so communication is difficult.

But for those who can leap the gap -- great.

wot everyone live bottom a draw 23 maple avenue

ans fa folk 200 or 0-200 da planet is global yeah maybe one day all lands takes a downs a washin ans stick one up with tong pokin out

thankyou

 

[altlover85]

See I still think that's more an issue of personal characteristics and incompatibility than it is inter-generational differences. For instance, whereas I have the capability to stay up all night, I'm disinclined to do so unless it involves studying, writing, or lots and lots of sex. A friend my age, however, might make a habit out of doing it most weekends. He might also occasionally blow off his work or university responsibilities to sleep in and play xbox, espouse different values to me, and place importance on things I feel to be insignificant whilst ignoring a lot of what I feel to be important. Without this thread and my personality as context, would your first thought be that he and I are at different stages of life? Or would you just say that our personalities are simply incompatible for a relationship?

Conversely, say there was a man in his late thirties with whom I shared a lot of common ground; we shared similar hobbies and interests, we valued the same things in life, and got along really well in general. Would it then be said that he and I were at the 'same stage of life'? Of course not, because the phrase itself makes absolutely no sense. Everybody matures and develops differently, and there is no reason to assume that one's priorities will equal x because they are x years old.

Either way, I would expect that every mature relationship involves both people sitting down together to discuss pragmatic ways they can overcome any issues that may arise; regardless of their individual circumstances. And I would expect that sacrifice or compromise is inevitable when sharing your life with someone; not just someone significantly older or younger than yourself. It just seems nonsensical to me that people bother applying generalities and stating that one type of relationship is inherently more difficult than another, when every single relationship is different and sweeping statements simply cannot apply.

Whenever I hear at different stages of life, I tend to think of things like where you are in your career and what assets you have. It's unlikely that an 18 year old will have a house, while a 48 year old would be much more likely to have one. The 48 year old is probably more established in their career and may be in the midst of planning their retirement (I'm not saying that he is going to retire, but hopefully he is saving money), whereas an 18 year old is probably not saving for retirement.

Of course all of these things I mention are generalizations, but I think most age gap couples are going to have differences in the areas I mentioned and I think they should take those into account when navigating the relationship.

 

[fontana]

Date: NO
Have Sex with: MAYBE

I lost my cherry to a guy 30 years older than me, he was very experienced and it took his persistence, and to some degree, his forcefulness to complete the task at hand. After a brief (2 or 3 months) period of getting trained by him, I split. I'd rather stick to my approximate age, but, if an older guy in good shape and things clicked I'd have sex with him, but still wouldn't date him. This would only happen if I was not committed.

 

[gamestarp]

I only started having sex with men about two years ago, and only for the sex. I enjoy dominating and humiliating men, who seem to enjoy it as well. But I never even thought of having a relationship with someone I considered and treated like an inferior. Then, just two weeks ago now, this 21 yr old boy called, wanted to be used, mostly regular kink, little pain, orders, abuse...No problem, and he was hot in his pics. Fuck, though, when I met him first to make sure he knew he was doing, I don't know, something happened with the cute green eyes, he's smart, witty, nice....So I fell in love with a boy for the first time. I'm forty fucking seven. Grown kids two years younger than him. I was a wreck for two days after, texting him every twenty minutes,buying him stuff...When he said he liked me too, I actually blushed like a girl. wrecked. I thought about using the belt on him like he asked and it actually brought tears to my eyes to think of causing him pain. No good. Some neat things have come out of it so far...I held his hand in the car, talking. That was a first for me, all tender and nice.I had kissed men before, but to show them they were mine, hard and sexy. When I kissed this boy, I actually thrilled on his lips moving on mine. Hard as a fucking rock I was. So that's the main problem with boys much younger for me. they are just too adorable. I swear I never have wanted to fuck anybody as much as him, and he wanted it hard and dom. I just couldn't do it. I have jacked off onto crying men, smiled at their screams, arranged and carried out brutal fake rapes. The kid turned me into a softie. I am not ging to date him, cause he doesn't want to date an old man of course. I can't have nice sex with him, cause I'll end up jumping off a bridge when he leaves for someone his own age. And I can't stop thinking how nice it was to hold his hand, even as I order fags on video to strip and do their stupid fetish things.

That's why I joined the forum tonight, really. I'm searching for a way to regain the dominant edge, the mean streak that made it fun for me too. It's a fuckload of work, you know, with the ropes and toys, negotiations and meetngs, wierd requests. Boys suck.

 

[asu1117]

Weird? I don't know, kind of I guess. But everyone should do what makes them happy. It's not something I would do, my boyfriend is my age.