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Does a guy's sexual history matter when dating? Should it?

LuckysRevenge

LuckysRevenge

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What are your thoughts?
When you're dating a guy, do you care how many men he's been with?

If you like a guy but you find out he's been banged by every guy in town, would that stop you from dating him?
If someone has a promiscuous past, does that give you pause?

What are your experiences with this? Have you been on the other side? (someone who gets around and liked someone who wasn't okay with it)
 
In my youth when I was insecure, jealous and Puritan, it would have bothered me... but now days I realize people got baggage, history, slightly different morals/values than I do, that really don't matter in the big picture. Do you trust him? Is he honest? That's all that really matters.

If he's been with 500 people, and he picks YOU - then he's played the field and knows what he wants. Isn't that better than being with a near virgin with little experience whom might want to play the field someday?
 
borg69unimatrix said:
In my youth when I was insecure, jealous and Puritan, it would have bothered me... but now days I realize people got baggage, history, slightly different morals/values than I do, that really don't matter in the big picture. Do you trust him? Is he honest? That's all that really matters.

If he's been with 500 people, and he picks YOU - then he's played the field and knows what he wants. Isn't that better than being with a near virgin with little experience whom might want to play the field someday?
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I agree although the flip side is the worry that if he's been with all these guys, should I be wary of the fact that he might be able to settle with one guy?

I could see both sides. I sort of dated a guy who had done a lot more kinkier stuff than I but after getting to know him, it didn't matter as much (it helped that I was the best sex he had). But I wonder if that was because I didn't see him as having any long-term potential.
Then there's a different guy who was interested in me but I had suspicions about because he was horny all the time. Two years later, he's dating someone but has a 3some, bf not included. So it's tough and it's something I do think about from time to time even though I'm not looking to date.
 
But will you be the last and only? And how will you make it so? ;p

kathy-bates-misery.jpg
 
I easily had sex with maybe 750 men...but under 1000...and I refuse to pretend I didn't...

I also refuse to do the usual drama crap about how none of it "mattered" or "it didn't mean anything"...it meant alot of great sex and great conversation and companionship.....

I actually love it when men are turned off due to my sexual past because it weeds out the control freaks and prudes....neither of who I am compatible with. I had too many stalker men in my teens and early 20s bother me and they ...along with this one guy I had a relationship with...taught me to avoid any man who is jealous or possessive or a prude or gawd forbid the men who want to "make love" BARF. I know a lot of guys value the guys I dislike so it's a win-win for everyone.....

For me on the other end interested in a guy...I am glad that a guy has experience. I am not into virgins at all. It is an instant dealbreaker for me.
 
eastofeden said:
I easily had sex with maybe 750 men...but under 1000...and I refuse to pretend I didn't...

I also refuse to do the usual drama crap about how none of it "mattered" or "it didn't mean anything"...it meant alot of great sex and great conversation and companionship.....

I actually love it when men are turned off due to my sexual past because it weeds out the control freaks and prudes....neither of who I am compatible with. I had too many stalker men in my teens and early 20s bother me and they ...along with this one guy I had a relationship with...taught me to avoid any man who is jealous or possessive or a prude or gawd forbid the men who want to "make love" BARF. I know a lot of guys value the guys I dislike so it's a win-win for everyone.....

For me on the other end interested in a guy...I am glad that a guy has experience. I am not into virgins at all. It is an instant dealbreaker for me.
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I'm with that guy and it's good for both of us. :)

We would do a great thing by sending each other our rejects, because I have exactly the opposite point of view on every single point you've made.
 
Absolutely. I don't go all the way with guys I don't know.

If you are with someone who sleeps around, he has genital herpes I can almost guarantee you, and possibly HPV.
 
Alnitak said:
Absolutely. I don't go all the way with guys I don't know.

If you are with someone who sleeps around, he has genital herpes I can almost guarantee you, and possibly HPV.
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At least you said "almost".....I don't have any of the above....
 
There's a difference between a guy with a past and a guy that hasn't moved on from his past.

Some things will give me pause - like, say, you dating 3 of my friends and they'll able to accurately detail the beginning, middle and end of the relationship, and here I am seeing the same exact things - but others, if you prove you're passed them, won't matter.
 
eastofeden said:
At least you said "almost".....I don't have any of the above....
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That is one of the biggest misconceptions about infectious disease. You can and probably do have either virus or both even if you have never have seen lesions or warts. In fact, most people never get them despite repeated exposure.
 
^So you don't believe he, I don't know, got tested to be sure?
 
Depends. Would I be his only one or would he still continue the promiscuity? I could date someone who has been around the block, but if he has an STD, then a sexual/romantic connection might be out of the picture. I'm more of an emotional bonder than anything really. If he continued to sleep around, I couldn't handle it.
 
It will only matter if you let it be. There is no right or wrong answer here as people will see things differently and have their own preferences. A prude to someone will be a slut to someone else. As for me, I don't mind their sexual history or even if they're sleeping with other people on the side, as long as they're not doing it if we're supposed to have a committed relationship. No lying, period, and no cheating if we had agreed on monogamy.
 
dereperez said:
It will only matter if you let it be. There is no right or wrong answer here as people will see things differently and have their own preferences. A prude to someone will be a slut to someone else. As for me, I don't mind their sexual history or even if they're sleeping with other people on the side, as long as they're not doing it if we're supposed to have a committed relationship. No lying, period, and no cheating if we had agreed on monogamy.
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I couldn't have said it better than my friend, Derek did! :D
 
LuckysRevenge said:
What are your thoughts?
When you're dating a guy, do you care how many men he's been with?

If you like a guy but you find out he's been banged by every guy in town, would that stop you from dating him?
If someone has a promiscuous past, does that give you pause?

What are your experiences with this? Have you been on the other side? (someone who gets around and liked someone who wasn't okay with it)
Click to expand...

Oh dear gods!

You've excluded bisexuals. You are in so much . . . you better run.
 
Alnitak said:
That is one of the biggest misconceptions about infectious disease. You can and probably do have either virus or both even if you have never have seen lesions or warts. In fact, most people never get them despite repeated exposure.
Click to expand...

Yes...it is possible...just like it is possible if you eat processed foods and have an acid based diet you will promote cancer in your body.

...and we can go on and on about all of the behaviors that can and do result in disease for SOME of the people who engage in those activities.

For some reason...sexual diseases often come with shame and judgement.... and the people who do it are the usual suspects.
 
To be honest, for me it really depends on the individual. Like what some of the members here have mentioned, if he used to be a super player and he settled with you, and only you I guess you are doing something right :)


Besides, a lot of people have different definitions of "dating". Some people only considered serious long term boyfriends/girlfriends or serious monogamous relationships as "dating". If it's just a one time only short date, blind date or some silly 2 week crush, I would just consider them "flings" and do not mind them at all. I think everyone will experience infatuation from time to time.


Also, I really don't get the whole virgin bashing and shaming going on here. Not everyone enjoys getting frisky and just because you do doesn't mean that everyone have to be like you. Also, considering all the health threats that comes with it; not to mention all the deception, schemes or whatever weird creepy tactic that psychopathic people nowadays do just to get laid.


I probably will never understand how shoving 200 penises up your loose butt somehow makes you "superior" than those who don't since I am a such a "prude" after all :roll:
 
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