Does is bother when some gay men says it's a "choice?"

[Yves]

Sexual orientation refers to a person's sense of identity. That goes much deeper than (observable) choices or behaviors. Our identity is not a choice. Sharing your identity with others (coming out) or acting upon your desires might be a choice depending on the context.

Going back to the OP. The "choice" discourse bothers me when is used by a spokesperson or representative of a gay group or straight allied. I've seen a few on TV or news articles and is frustrating. It is irresponsible to perpetuate messages with no scientific evidence that can be used against us (you don't deserve equal rights because your "condition" is a "choice")

The "choice" discourse is far from neutral. The choice or "gay sex is just an option" mentality is one of the basic principles of "conversion therapy" a fraud that still gets attention on the media. Many teenagers have a very difficult adolescence because they try to deny the non-heterosexual identity based on the choice argument (i'm not gay this is just a phase) We know what happens to those who keep denying who they are.

 

[bluedragon4]

I didn't read everything above cause I bet it was a lot of fighting but I have never ever not once met a gay man who said he picked this. I have met so many gays and lesbians in the last 21 years of being out and not one that I talked to ever said it was a conscious choice. I did read above someone said he had female and male fantasies and went to the male fantasies like it was his choice to do that. You have to understand that heterosexuality is crammed down our throats everyday. You are brainwashed into thinking you should fantasize about woman as a kid. But you quickly figured out your fantasies that turned you on were about men. You didn't pick one over the other.

I have known my whole life and came out at 15. But as a child I had girlfriends and would kiss them innocently. But the day my boy cousin pulled out his dick in front of me and asked if I wanted to jerk off.....well, lol, that's all she wrote. I had never felt that desire for girls. That burning hot feeling in my stomach. And I also had a girl cousin who wanted to play doctor at the same age. That just felt so very wrong to me. I was presented with two choices at the same time and everything about my boy cousin felt right. I can say without one single doubt that we are born this way.

 

[bearbacked]

I would never choose to be straight if I could.

I'm nobody's victim. I'm very happy to have the life I do and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Now THIS is what I call gay pride!

 

[cronkie]

You don't "choose" to be gay.

You can, however, choose to accept yourself for how you are, or not choose to accept yourself.

Well said.

Simple as that.

 

[NVRMOR]

I don't understand how that would be looked at as a 'disability'. I'm not going to lead people on when they said it's a choice, I've had people do it before and I corrected them. The whole notion that it's wrong is because many people do believe you choose or it's a 'preference'.

I doubt all the people who are gay would choose to be so with how homosexuality is generally treated. But yes, even if it was it doesn't matter it should still be accepted, but it isn't and people need to know.

Sexuality is as much of a choice as gender is a choice.

Thank you!

 

[bulge]

I've never met any gay man who said he chose to be gay.

Same here. I have never met a gay guy saying something as stupid as this. This is a joke. It is simply impossible.