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Embarrassed about looks and body-need help!

I think you've got some very good advice in this thread. I don't really have anything to add except maybe hit the gym and when you start seeing results you might like your body more.
 
I don't tell people but i go through this. I was always hard on myself. I still am. I could never look good enough. I just do not find myself attractive. Doesn't matter how many men hit on me or tell me I am hot. I just don't see it. I use to kill myself working out. I had a great body but I was so crabby from eating so little. I would love to get back to that weight but the thought of all the work outs and calorie cutting just turns me off. I would love to accept who I am as I am. Maybe that's just life. we all see the flaws. It's easier to believe the bad then the good. It has held me back. And the older I get the worse it gets. I don't think a DR can fix how you feel. You just can't dwell on it 24/7. I still date and go out with friends. Just keep active. Cause once you sit and shut yourself off then that's when it's really a huge problem.
 
I would ask you out on a date if you were in my town. You're cute.

You have a definite charm to you.

I agree with Boxerdudes first answer. Spend some time with yourself and get accustomed to living in and liking your skin.
 
Sultan said:
I think you've got some very good advice in this thread. I don't really have anything to add except maybe hit the gym and when you start seeing results you might like your body more.
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I already do workout. Yes, that has helped me feel a bit better about myself.
 
bluedragon4 said:
I don't tell people but i go through this. I was always hard on myself. I still am. I could never look good enough. I just do not find myself attractive. Doesn't matter how many men hit on me or tell me I am hot. I just don't see it. I use to kill myself working out. I had a great body but I was so crabby from eating so little. I would love to get back to that weight but the thought of all the work outs and calorie cutting just turns me off. I would love to accept who I am as I am. Maybe that's just life. we all see the flaws. It's easier to believe the bad then the good. It has held me back. And the older I get the worse it gets. I don't think a DR can fix how you feel. You just can't dwell on it 24/7. I still date and go out with friends. Just keep active. Cause once you sit and shut yourself off then that's when it's really a huge problem.
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I understand that all too well. I've always been very hard on myself. Nothing is ever good enough, there's always the need for better.

Yep, sitting around thinking about it makes it much worse.

I have come to the conclusion that Psychiatrists, therapists, counselors, etc., can't really help, and I'll probably not see any in the future. I don't know of any I have seen doing me any real good.
 
m1thousand said:
I saw this photo today. He has a small penis. http://www.luriddigs.com/page/3/

Maybe you will feel a bit better because there are guys like you, or if you are bigger than him, that will make you not feel so bad.

Unfortunately, gay culture is penis obsessed. You just have to remember that guys with average or small penises are not going to have their photo taken (with the exception of this guy) because of the culture we live in.


I think you have a look of a character actor and you should try getting work as an extra or possibly more.
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That guy looks more average than small to me. Everybody has a different opinion, and perception of what's small, average, above average, or large.

Unfortunately, it's not just gay culture that's obsessed with size. Straight culture is also caught up in this, if perhaps, in a slightly different way.
 
Thanks to everyone for the good advice, and kind, encouraging words.

I do hope I can learn to at least accept, and hopefully love, myself as I am. Most of what I dislike cannot be changed, and what can, will be very difficult to do. I'm going to try to be accepting, and enjoy the rest of my life. Even that won't be an easy to come by change. I've been this way for a long time.
 
If you don't think counselors would be helpful (have you tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?) how about medications?
 
altlover85 said:
If you don't think counselors would be helpful (have you tried Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?) how about medications?
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I suppose that most of the counseling I've had would come under the broad general term of CBT. Medications didn't help in the past, and knowing what I do now, I'm fearful of medications that are psyche altering.
 
you don't need medications, you have to just stop giving a shit that you're not perfect and get out and enjoy life on your own terms. It won't take long to be surrounded by people who also won't care that you didn't make the A-list.
 
JasunStrikesBack said:
you don't need medications, you have to just stop giving a shit that you're not perfect and get out and enjoy life on your own terms. It won't take long to be surrounded by people who also won't care that you didn't make the A-list.
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I agree. Now, if I can just do that...
 
I'm getting the feeling you're bluffing. You're looking for compliments and really don't want advice.

Here's my advice to you: stop whining and accept yourself for who and what you are. Thank God you have your arms legs, eyes, jaw....

There are people who are blind, legless, missing an arm or two, There are people with cancer scars on their faces. People who have been burned and scarred for life.

I've seen kids laying in the hospital near death. I've seen injured young men thanking God they're still alive. And you're whining you have a "small penis". Your tummy is too large.

Right now in the town you live in there are people dying in the hospital. There are soldiers being killed and maimed in wars. Kids starving.

For fuck sake, stop whining and be happy with who you are.

There's my advice.
 
I looked at your previous posts and saw you posted about the size of your penis. Psh that size is not at all small, it might be small to a bunch of size queens but that is almost average size.

Could be worse, could be 3 inches, then you might have something to complain about.
 
m1thousand said:
Body dysmorphia is a recognised, psychiatric disorder.

To tell someone to stop whining just shows ignorance.
Would you tell a insulin dependent diabetic to get on with life and just go eat sugar.
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Well... yes and no.

If a diabetic does without insulin, he'll die. If a body dysmorphic person just walks out in public, they won't. Unless they walk into a car or something... I guess.

Anyway.

I don't know if he has actual body dysmorphia or if he just has the same feelings of inadequacy and most of us have in some form or another, especially when we hit our mid 30s.
 
I'm 295 lbs with a smaller-than-average penis, and the first thing that comes out of my mouth if people don't like me is "Kiss my fat ass," because I love myself, and nobody can ever take that away from me. Flesh is flesh, it comes in all shapes, colors, and sizes; the only true measure of a person is purely mental.

Fuck everybody else; if you don't love yourself, how can you expect anybody else to?
 
Travisevian said:
Those great misfortunes don't make his feelings and his situation insignificant. He has poor self-esteem which has caused him to be socially isolated for many years and I think you're being very insensitive.
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Go ahead and call me insensitive, maybe I am, but I have very little time for people like this. Sometimes I want to pick them up and shake them and tell them no matter how bad you think you have it, there's hundreds of thousands much worse off than you. I don't enable people and refuse to throw a pity party.

I've taken care of people in hospitals, taken care of people recuperating in nursing homes after having major disfiguring accidents. My Godson was born without a hand and never once did I hear him wallow in self pity about it. He's now 26 and a steady young man.

I've had a kidney transplant and some major medical issues, but never once complained or whined "why me?". If the OP needs some self-esteem lessons, go volunteer at a Vet's hospital. The reality of life will come down hard on you.

The OP's problem is NOT his appearance.... it's his mind. He needs a sharp dose of reality then he will discover he doesn't have it so bad. He needs to appreciate what he has and not lament over what he doesn't have. Chrissakes, I want a Bentley, I'll never have one, but I don't suffer over not having it.

Tough love. How does he expect things to change if he doesn't change?
 
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