Embarrassed about looks and body-need help!

[GamerBear]

When I look at the number of views on my pics, as compared to those of someone who is young, and truly good looking, that's what tells the story. I really don't see that gay men are much different that straight men, or women, in that respect. Most all people are drawn to youth and beauty.

Post your picture in the daddies section and I am sure you'll get people and more views than your other thread. Younger guys aren't really appreciated there as much as older men in that section.

 

[CowboyBob]

?
You don't really believe this, do you?

Yes I do. I've seen nice looking men when they were young and when they were older their looks faded.

Apparently outward physical appearance is paramount to you. Isn't that the definition of shallowness? Looks are superficial.

 

[GamerBear]

That's fine if the world consisted of bears but it doesnt. All that will do is give him a biased view from a group of men who like a particular type of guy.

So you're reinforcing that people ARE drawn to youth and beauty.

 

[CowboyBob]

So you're reinforcing that people ARE drawn to youth and beauty.

Some people are. For some people that's all that matters.

I have a friend who's my age and similar in appearance, but when we go out he will only look for a 22 year old, blonde, handsome, masculine muscleboy and won't take anything else. I look for guys my own age and appearance. He's miserable because he's alone and no one wants to be with him (these muscle twinks aren't interested in him) and I'm having a blast because I've met several guys.

Confidence is very attractive. So is compassion, maturity and stability. I despise shallowness. Embrace who you are.

 

[GamerBear]

Where did you get that from?

If he was a twink and went to a twink message board, its obvious what they will say.

If you take a look at the Show Yourself section you'll see why it feels a little intimidating to an older gentleman like birddog. Almost all the threads on there are 18 to people in their 20s. Very few people posting in their 40s and 50s.

Coming from a young guy I understand exactly what he feels when he sees that kind of thing outside of the gay message boards and in real life.

 

[GamerBear]

Some people are. For some people that's all that matters.

I have a friend who's my age and similar in appearance, but when we go out he will only look for a 22 year old, blonde, handsome, masculine muscleboy and won't take anything else. I look for guys my own age and appearance. He's miserable because he's alone and no one wants to be with him (these muscle twinks aren't interested in him) and I'm having a blast because I've met several guys.

Confidence is very attractive. So is compassion, maturity and stability. I despise shallowness. Embrace who you are.

That can't be healthy, I know of someone who devoted everything to trying to find a younger boyfriend even trying to change his appearance.

 

[GamerBear]

No one has a gun to anyone's head when they post photos in amateur showcase. I posted a photo when I first came here and I thought "its not for me" and I removed the photo.



I was looking at Body dysmorphia on Youtube and there is some interesting videos there. And yes, there are girls who look great but think they are hideous. I have times when I feel hideous.


I give you props for posting your photo because I would not. Ill post my photo when I was younger but not now.

No, nobody has a gun to anyone's head. When someone has issues about the way they look they try to go and post pictures of themselves either for acceptance or to see if someone out there considers them attractive. I've gone through that very same issue when I first started posting on JUB 6 years ago.

But I had seen that younger thin attractive guys were the majority here on the boards so I posted a picture of myself and didn't get as much posts on my thread as compared to the average thin twink.

People have huge guts to posting their pictures let alone nude pictures of themselves.

But when birddog posted this

When I look at the number of views on my pics, as compared to those of someone who is young, and truly good looking, that's what tells the story.

It made me think to when I first started posting pictures of myself. How I felt out of place here.

 

[metta]

Loving The Man In The Mirror

http://daily.gay.com/lifestyle/2010/09/loving-the-man-in-the-mirror.html

BODY IMAGE DISTORTION
While not a classified diagnosis, this is probably the most common issue rational gay men face because, in such a sexualized culture, they compare themselves to the images they see in porn, magazines—or even on sites like Gay.com.

For both Muscle Dysmorphia and Body Image Distortion, Ng offers these tips to his patients for changing their perspective on how they see themselves.

•Create a list of your positive values.
Focus on whatever your strengths are, whether it’s physical qualities, a belief system, or anything you know as being a positive attribute. Those core values will keep you grounded.

•Redefine you notion of healthy weight and healthy body composition.
Ng often sees young men, say with 7% body fat, who consider themselves overweight when in reality the norm for their age is anywhere from 8-20%. See if your doctor or gym can suggest a nutritionist to give you a body composition test. You may be just fine, or get healthy direction on how to improve.

•Recognize that models are a fantasy.
“That person on the cover of a magazine is not the average person,” Ng says. “When you look at the demographics of all gay men, most don’t look like that. So you really have to start redefining yourself as part of the norm.”

Having a perfect body won't do you any good if you don't accept yourself for who you really are—both inside and out. Once you establish a realistic perception and stop defining yourself by how porn stars and models look, then you can start living a healthy life that extends beyond hitting the gym seven days a week.

 

[birddog7]

I'd just like to thank everyone who responded to this thread for their advice, caring, and kindness.

Thanks!