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Ever found someone you knew on a gay hookup site?

Now there's a real man. Congrats on having some balls and ethics. ..|

LOL, get the fuck out of here.

His situation is completely different. They talked for an entire month and got to know each others situation, and to be real everyone is different. I mean that's great for Jamie but coming out and that sort of thing is different for everyone so take your judgments and shove them up your ass. Your name is "lube" after all. ..|
 
The thing is though it doesn't hurt you moron.

I already KNEW that coming out to him and talking about it would be the best case scenario and most admirable thing to do but I'm in no position to be his role model or shoulder to lean on.

I think the reason why you are trying to throw this guilt trip on me is because you described yourself as the small little gay kid from a back alley farm town where you got picked on and treated badly by everyone so you're trying to relate your situation to the cousin in my story.

His situation isn't the same as yours so you can give it a rest.
 
You better hope not. Because if he turns out like me, he's gonna make your life HELL.(!)

That's implying that you make my life, or time here on JUB hell, which you don't. Don't give yourself that much credit vaJayJay. You can be fun to argue with, I'll give you that but you are still a complete jackass in my book. ..|
 
you know what i hate the most, seeing the same guy you once hooked up with on a hook up site and hes trying to hook up with you again except he doesn't know its you....bugs me when im trying to avoid them
 
No, but once when I was in a gay sauna I sucked a guy off who turned out to be a former student of mine. I hadn't realized who he was (it was pretty dark in there!) until we'd finished and he said: "Thanks, Mr ........, that was great! Do you remember me?" Turned out I'd taught him when he was 17 and in Year 12, about 6 years previously.

It was a memorable moment! ;)
 
How is the situation different?

One cousin chatting to another online who doesn't know who he is talking to "outs himself" when obviously he doesn't know he's done it to a family member who didn't know anything of his sexuality.

The only difference is Jamie took the initiative and had the balls to say "you know what cousin, you're not alone. it's me."

You just took the photo and went "whooo that was a close call. I nearly outted myself as a bisexual to a family member who's a closeted screaming queen. How would that have looked to the other macho men in my family"

Ultimately Sultan, you choose to leave your cousin in the dark that it was you he was talking to, not because you're "not ready to be a shoulder to lean on" but because the idea of being honest and out with anyone who counts leaves your terrified.

There's really no other justification for the choice you made.

Everyone come out differently depends on how he/she feels.
How old is Jamie and how old is Sultan. And Jamie lives alone (guessing) but Sultan is not (guessing).

Anyway when you are not ready, you are not ready.
 
Everyone come out differently depends on how he/she feels.
How old is Jamie and how old is Sultan. And Jamie lives alone (guessing) but Sultan is not (guessing).

Anyway when you are not ready, you are not ready.
Ravenstar nailed it.

You are inventing things ("guessing"?! Really?!).

Sultan is quick to disparage others ("biggest queen") when he should look in the mirror and see how his actions give him away as a queen.

The biggest thing that "straight acting" gays don't get is that the queeniest thing you can do is to shirk responsibility, point fingers at others, and make excuses for your immature behavior.

Sultan does that in spades.

Total flamer. (!)

And he thinks he's so macho. Not in any straight guy's book.
 
Ravenstar nailed it.

You are inventing things ("guessing"?! Really?!).

Sultan is quick to disparage others ("biggest queen") when he should look in the mirror and see how his actions give him away as a queen.

The biggest thing that "straight acting" gays don't get is that the queeniest thing you can do is to shirk responsibility, point fingers at others, and make excuses for your immature behavior.

Sultan does that in spades.

Total flamer. (!)

And he thinks he's so macho. Not in any straight guy's book.

not really. Jamie is much older than Sultan i think.
Again sultan live at home (guessing) so he is not ready to tell family members.
 
Ultimately Sultan, you choose to leave your cousin in the dark that it was you he was talking to, not because you're "not ready to be a shoulder to lean on" but because the idea of being honest and out with anyone who counts leaves your terrified.

VERY true.

And after reading enough of his threads about his "gay friends" that he compartmentalizes from his "friends" and all those "gay men are all effeminate" rants, I have a feeling that the cousin is probably better off without all that.
 
Craigslist success story:

I put up a brief ad on Craigslist today for a guy similar to my age going to my school, and after a few hours, I found a potential guy to meet up with.

We met up on-campus at Starbuck's, then proceeded to go to the movies (and watch Terminator ftw :]), then we went to get a bite to eat, then pretty much just walked around and talked.

It was so great to be able to be honest and relate to another guy, but I will admit that at first it was kinda weird :S. It got better as the night got darker though :].

Overall I think we spent like 6-7 hours hanging out (in public so I could see for myself he wasn't shady).

I think I hit the jackpot in craigslist lol. I'm sure he feels the same way,too. He told me he made an unsuccessful ad before..


I'm so happy I met him. If anything, he's at least going to be a good friend who I can talk to personally and deeply.

Plus, I might get to really get to know him soon..|.
 
not really. Jamie is much older than Sultan i think.
Again sultan live at home (guessing) so he is not ready to tell family members.
Judaism and Catholicism among other religions and cultures treat 13 year old boys as men when it comes to being morally responsible. 16 year olds can drive. 18 year olds are adults: hold jobs, have sex, fight in the military.

So in an age when the worst thing that generally happens to an out gay person is that they are verbally ostracized, why do we continue to coddle them as children and say "Wait to come out as long as you want."

I'm starting to think that's no longer a good idea.

Putting it off for years doesn't solve any problems.

You wanna wait 3 months, 6 months, even a year to come out publicly after admitting it to yourself? Fine. But 2, 5, 10 years does no one any good.
 
not really. Jamie is much older than Sultan i think.
Again sultan live at home (guessing) so he is not ready to tell family members.
Maybe it happened to Jamie 20 years ago.

You're just making shit up.

Sultan is a coward, pure and simple.

Straight-acting, my ass.
 
Judaism and Catholicism among other religions and cultures treat 13 year old boys as men when it comes to being morally responsible. 16 year olds can drive. 18 year olds are adults: hold jobs, have sex, fight in the military.

So in an age when the worst thing that generally happens to an out gay person is that they are verbally ostracized, why do we continue to coddle them as children and say "Wait to come out as long as you want."

I'm starting to think that's no longer a good idea.

Putting it off for years doesn't solve any problems.

You wanna wait 3 months, 6 months, even a year to come out publicly after admitting it to yourself? Fine. But 2, 5, 10 years does no one any good.

ok, agreed with you.
Jasun don't wheally wheally need to jump in for your defense.
 
Yes, I am.

Now imagine if I knew your mom. :wave:
.... and what exactly does that mean? You've made it clear that you have no interst in women and vaginas give you the creeps.... so humor me. What would happen if you knew my mom?

How is the situation different?

One cousin chatting to another online who doesn't know who he is talking to "outs himself" when obviously he doesn't know he's done it to a family member who didn't know anything of his sexuality.

The only difference is Jamie took the initiative and had the balls to say "you know what cousin, you're not alone. it's me."

You just took the photo and went "whooo that was a close call. I nearly outted myself as a bisexual to a family member who's a closeted screaming queen. How would that have looked to the other macho men in my family"
No... did you read dude?

His situation is different because they talked for an entire month, opened up to each other, got to know each other's situation, confided in each other to some extent even though they didn't discolse their identity, etc. That's a lot different than simply swapping pics.


Ultimately Sultan, you choose to leave your cousin in the dark that it was you he was talking to, not because you're "not ready to be a shoulder to lean on" but because the idea of being honest and out with anyone who counts leaves your terrified.

There's really no other justification for the choice you made.
I have came out to people before but yes, never to someone that close with me and yeah I do admit that I'm not ready for that yet.

Ravenstar nailed it.

You are inventing things ("guessing"?! Really?!).

Sultan is quick to disparage others ("biggest queen") when he should look in the mirror and see how his actions give him away as a queen.

The biggest thing that "straight acting" gays don't get is that the queeniest thing you can do is to shirk responsibility, point fingers at others, and make excuses for your immature behavior.

Sultan does that in spades.

Total flamer. (!)

And he thinks he's so macho. Not in any straight guy's book.
Yawn... this one here is not even worth an intelligent responce. Just too much bullshit and false claims to respond to.

Judaism and Catholicism among other religions and cultures treat 13 year old boys as men when it comes to being morally responsible. 16 year olds can drive. 18 year olds are adults: hold jobs, have sex, fight in the military.

So in an age when the worst thing that generally happens to an out gay person is that they are verbally ostracized, why do we continue to coddle them as children and say "Wait to come out as long as you want."

Woah, hold it right there jackass.

What world are you living in? Do you realize that your life, up bringing, coming out experience etc. is not the same for everyone else in this world? I don't know where your from but lots of people come from backgrounds where they would deal with much more than verbal insults if they came out, and I'm not talking about my situation in particular.


I'm starting to think that's no longer a good idea.

Putting it off for years doesn't solve any problems.

You wanna wait 3 months, 6 months, even a year to come out publicly after admitting it to yourself? Fine. But 2, 5, 10 years does no one any good.
Who are you to say what's right and what's wrong for an individual? Seriously... go stick a broom stick up your ass. I know this thread is about me being in the wrong but shame on you for even making such a ridiculous claim. You sound like that cunt Perez Hilton who wants to force people out the closet.
 
maybe this thread should be here:

Coming Out, Relationships & Bisex Talk Share your story. Get advice. No flame zone!
 
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