Fear Of Being Alone?

[yhtang]

This may change a few years down the line, but right now, I am alone but I am not lonely.

If it helps bring things into context, I am on the wrong side of 50. I led a rather gregarious life in my 20's and 30's but I mellowed down in my 40's.

Being alone, would I feel lonely in my 60's and 70's? I don't know, but I hope I will not.

 

[PalacePaul]

Stop playing your xbox and get out there. Look, I'm an ugly 30 year old bastard and I can find a new boyfriend as fast as a week. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get your ass out there.

What?? Tell me your tricks, I wanna learn from you.

 

[ravenstar]

Do you suffer from fear of being alone or do you know someone who does? Someone who will always be in a relationship no matter what?

My question comes because there's one particular guy who's been chatting me up lately and I'm starting to wonder based on his mannerisms... Does he want me or merely a just a guy?

There was a member here who recently said "I can't go two weeks without a boyfriend." Those of you who fit this mold, I'd love to chat with you and get a good understanding of how that works.

Anyone?

I can't say I'm afraid of being alone. I've been alone most of my life. My only fear is dying alone. Well to clarify not the actual dying part but say, dying in my chair at home and not being found for years until the electricity company comes around to turn off my power. That is a fear of mine, although why it is is beyond me given I'll be dead.

 

[zombiekiller]

What?? Tell me your tricks, I wanna learn from you.

No secrets. I don't fear asking. I don't fear getting rejected. I'm kind of a jerk in real life. I'm always the first to make a move. Etc.

 

[tarallucci]

I can't say I'm afraid of being alone. I've been alone most of my life. My only fear is dying alone. Well to clarify not the actual dying part but say, dying in my chair at home and not being found for years until the electricity company comes around to turn off my power. That is a fear of mine, although why it is is beyond me given I'll be dead.

Maybe because you wouldn't die right away, you wouldn't be able to move from the chair and be stuck suffering starvation and other pains. Falling on the ground and not being able to get up to call for help. I think we all fear that a bit.

 

[Joshua_me]

I can't say I'm afraid of being alone. I've been alone most of my life. My only fear is dying alone. Well to clarify not the actual dying part but say, dying in my chair at home and not being found for years until the electricity company comes around to turn off my power. That is a fear of mine, although why it is is beyond me given I'll be dead.

*sigh*

I dunno...

I suppose one could argue the point that we ALL die alone, no matter how many friends are around us.

But, maybe things aren't all that dark.

Are they ?

 

[gaysian85]

I am so lonely that I tend to fill the void by buying stuff on eBay. It has gotten way out of hand before and I can't keep doing this. But I suppose it's better than filling the void of loneliness with booze or drugs or even over eating. I don't know why most of the guys I talk to abandon me within two weeks. I am pretty loyal to those I like and I am willing to help them in anyway I can and will always do my best to keep promises I made to them but yet they still abandon me.

 

[TheLoveableLoner]

*sigh*

I dunno...

I suppose one could argue the point that we ALL die alone, no matter how many friends are around us.

Nope.

What he's talking about is entirely different. Dying alone and being found because you have no loved ones or connections around. The New York Times actually just wrote an exact article on this topic:

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/16/i...hat-happens-to-people-who-die-alone.html?_r=0

I've always had plenty of friends, but as we grow older and apart, I'm fairly confident this is exactly how I'll go. One day, I'll just be found dead in my apartment/house. I'll be an afterthought.

 

[Kyanimal]

A few friends of mine visited St. Petersburg, FL, and toured the ancient Spanish fort there. Part of the tour was the opportunity to be locked in the dungeon, alone, for 3 minutes. None of them were willing to try that.

However, they did say that of everyone they could think of, I would be the one that they thought could best endure solitary confinement.

That said ...

My partner of 33yr. recently made some bad choices, concerning possession of non prescribed substances, and is currently a Guest of the State. Since there hasn't yet been a sentence handed down, we don't know how long his reservation will be in effect.

Suddenly, I've found myself living alone. Not something I've done before.

Though I've always lived with someone else around, I've also tended to keep to my own space(s) and value my "me time".

This is entirely different in that it's enforced. No choices.

To be honest, I'm not coping as well as I should be. I'm (surprisingly) not depressed, and I'm familiar with what that means, but I am experiencing a total lack of motivation. I find I'm not taking care of things that I should be because, since it's now just me, what's the point? I guess it could be said that I've shifted into Neutral.

My "inner guy" is constantly on my case to get my pudgy old ass moving, be "productive", handle the everyday stuff, butt now it's even easier to procrastinate because there's no one around that will be affected by my own inaction. It's just me, now, for who knows however long.

Yes, I'm feeling guilty that I'm not doing more. However, I also don't really give a damn!

This is all new to me, and I'm not pleased with how I'm (not) handling it.

So far, it's only been several months. Perhaps, maybe, I'll eventually adapt in more positive ways, pull myself up by my own boot straps, and resume living Life, rather than sleeping most of the time to escape Reality. This is still a transformative experience in the making.

I suppose ... No Matter What ...

Keep Smilin'!!
Chaz

 

[dpnice]

........................... I am experiencing a total lack of motivation. I find I'm not taking care of things that I should be because, since it's now just me, what's the point? I guess it could be said that I've shifted into Neutral.

My "inner guy" is constantly on my case to get my pudgy old ass moving, be "productive", handle the everyday stuff, butt now it's even easier to procrastinate because there's no one around that will be affected by my own inaction. It's just me, now, for who knows however long.

Yes, I'm feeling guilty that I'm not doing more. However, I also don't really give a damn!.......................

Having lived on my own for over 20 years I can tell you that is exactly the daily battle I have fought. That is the major problem of living alone; no one to motivate you so that even the little things can be left undone as why not do them tomorrow.

Every time I decide to pull my finger out there is always that feeling of "I don't give a damn" why bother.

It is a battle everyday; but there is no alternative but to make the effort or drift into lethargy and depression

 

[jdcnow]

Having lived on my own for over 20 years I can tell you that is exactly the daily battle I have fought. That is the major problem of living alone; no one to motivate you so that even the little things can be left undone as why not do them tomorrow.

Every time I decide to pull my finger out there is always that feeling of "I don't give a damn" why bother.

It is a battle everyday; but there is no alternative but to make the effort or drift into lethargy and depression

This is exactly where I've found myself lately. And I turn 33 next month.

 

[gaysian85]

Having lived on my own for over 20 years I can tell you that is exactly the daily battle I have fought. That is the major problem of living alone; no one to motivate you so that even the little things can be left undone as why not do them tomorrow.

Every time I decide to pull my finger out there is always that feeling of "I don't give a damn" why bother.

It is a battle everyday; but there is no alternative but to make the effort or drift into lethargy and depression

This is pretty much my entire life except for the 20 years part and it is even sadder that I'm 30 and I've only been on four dates in my entire life. I keep getting abandoned and now I am paranoid to let people get to know me. Sometimes I won't clean my apartment because there just is no point since no one ever visits me or even wants me. I can't keep living like this any longer. I haven't even had any sexual contact in about two years.

 

[tarallucci]

I know it's difficult, but we need to do it for ourselves.

 

[kallipolis]

I enjoy my moments of solitude away from the madding crowds, in an atmosphere enabling me to unwind, into a state of relaxing joy.

Rather like day, and night I also need those moments with friends, and acquaintances to appreciate my absolute need to enjoy the company of my fellow human being without whom I could never become the man I am at peace with, best known to me, as myself.

My first meeting with my partner was never the result of a knock at my door...and he arriving on a silver platter, but of my determination to go out, and find love in those places where love is waiting...to be collected, and appreciated.