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From walked all over to well respected and feared. [merged]

Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

I've still been pretty down... today something devastating happened to me that broke me down into tears until i passed out in my bed from exhaustion. I've been getting bullied and harrassed by staff at a certain establishment for some time now...(about a year)...

and after numerous attempts to file complaints to higher up administrative staff they've only done blank investigations and have basically made it apparrant that they have no interest in terminating the worker and creating a sense of justice willingly. They appartently are the types of people that would have to be forced into doing it...through legal or law enforcement etc...

I ended up writing her (the main purportrator) a letter to let her know formally of my disdain for her and her behavior and let her know that i am not the type of person who thinks anything commical of her persona.

In the letter i ended up stating that she's acting like a woman who is unkempt, uncunth and can definately be identified to some as an "ignorant b-i-t-c-h".

Her higher up then e-mailed me stating that my e-mail was seen as offensive and he probably will send any other e-mails to the NYPD with claims of "Stalking and harrassment" when this woman has been the one who has been initiating intense and aggressive verbal conflist for the past year!!!!!!!!!!!!

It IMMEDIATELY threw me into tears as it again made me feel helpless and as if the world WANTS to attack me and attempt to underservice and fight me. It upset me greatly.

They clearly are trying to use gorilla tactics to try and make a situation go away without really doing anything which is why i was considering contacting an attorney...to sue them for some type of emotional distress or etc...however some of the attorneys i've contacted have stated that emotional distress would have to come from a much more innappropriate and dismal case.

When there is a situation where an emplyee is acting BEYOND disobediant and BEYOND innapropriate...the staff member must be exiled NOT the customer. What else do you guys suggest i do about the situation?
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

"I've been getting bullied and harrassed by staff at a certain establishment for some time now... "

what sort of establishment?
A restaurant ? Casino? Bar? Library? ... etc ?
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

NeedingHelpASAP:

I am sorry to hear you are still going through this. Can I be frank with you? Forgive me if I say something wrong... as I mean no malice to you.

Firstly.. sending that email may have been a bad move. I know you're angry, and wanted to tell the person that you don't like being treated like that, but more careful wording would have been better.

Saying that, I am on your side here.. ok? You don't have to take this bullying! I would suggest getting out of there ASAP, but I know that these days walking out of one job into another is practically impossible. This is a 'catch 22' situation. I really feel for you.

Maybe if you were to email your feelings to someone higher up... keep a record of anything said to you. If anyone sends you a nasty email, keep a print of it as proof, and use it as evidence to charge the offender.

Good luck, my friend... and remember: you don't have to suffer in silence ;)
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

It is never a good idea to escalate a conflict with someone by communicating with them directly. Concerns about the employee of any establishment should be presented as objectively as possible to a manager, going over the head of the person creating the conflict without addressing them at all, (and potentially never addressing them ever again). If it is not resolved at the managerial level, continue escalating a calm and rational complaint to the executive level.

In most cases by this point it is usually more convenient to just do business somewhere else. If that is not possible then anything unresolved after you address it at the executive level can be taken to the attention of a lawyer, or a human rights commission, or a consumer affairs reporter, or whatever might be appropriate.

Unfortunately addressing a letter filled with insults and subjective judgements to the person who caused the problem is never appropriate.

If you are a customer, you need to find a better place to do business at this point, and don't have anything to do with this place because it could be construed as harassment even if you don't intend it that way.

Most of all, you need a doctor's support to support you through this feeling of collapse, to help you get a fresh perspective and feel recharged to deal with the daily hassles of poor customer service, etc.
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

Heyyy.... now stop that, NeedingHelpASAP!!! You are going to drive yourself into the ground if you keep getting upset ;)

You've made a good start by talking on here with us all at JUB. I don't mind sitting here helping you as I am sure many others don't mind either..... after all, it's one big family here and that's what we are here for :)

Ok... let's start on some common ground here. What's the TOP thing which is bringing you down right now? (what's worrying you most...) If we can start there and work down the list of worries... I am certain we can get you on the right track to having your life back (sorry if that sounded bad... not intended)

I know you can't see it right now, but believe me... something good WILL come out of this, and you will definately get it sorted! If you need a good cry and a chat... I am online most of the day/night and can also be contacted on various chat clients.

Dry your eyes... as this is the start of sorting you out.. ok? ;)
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

Quick note: Although I offer advice or help... I am in no way a trained counsellor... but I have been through enough in life to be able to offer help where I can.
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

NH, I have two questions which of course you can answer in as much or as little detail as you like.

First, i'm just curious if you've posted here before or lurked here for a while.

Second, I think one of the greatest ways forward is to help other people with their issues. So I have a question for you that I'd like your perspective on. You have a sexual approach to life, and you're willing to open yourself up in those kinds of environments. I was always the shy guy...never went to bath houses or picked people up or did the one night thing. I had a couple of awkward encounters with people I knew and I put a stop to it without even really following through in bed, so my boyfriend is my one and only for 13 years.

But even with him I can sometimes be shy. More at first but even now sometimes, and him too to be honest. I don't want that shyness to stop us from being honest with each other. I'm fascinated by people who can just open up sexually in different situations. What's it like?
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

What you describe is sad, hurtful and perhaps even shameful to you. Suicidal thoughts have scared you, it seems, into posting here. You've explained what you think are the causes of your depression and it amounts to you against the world. It is crushing your spirit to the point where you see and feel nothing but the pain. Depression is a deceiver and a brain manipulator. It takes on a life of it's own and takes over your thought processes the same way a tumor in your lungs would take them over if not treated.

We seek help when we are in physical pain. This emotional pain needs treatment to arrest the condition. A psychiatrist is a brain function/emotional evaluator with the ability to prescribe meds if needed. Follow up with a psychologist or clinical social worker will allow you to vent your feelings and help you examine current strategies and explore new ones.

Appointments can't be made until Monday, so you'll need a weekend strategy. If things accelerate call 911 or walk into an emergency room. If they're stable make sure you get out if bed to bathe, shave and brush your teeth. Put clean linen on the bed and change your clothes. If you continue crying use an ice pack to relieve your swollen eyes. Eat lightly and healthy. Stay away from caffeine and high sugar foods or beverages, but stay hydrated. Stay away from sad songs and sad movies.

There are a lot of people cheering you on and sending a lot of positive energy your way. There is a way through this and many of have already attested to that.

I, together with all who have posted, wish you well.
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

Just wanted to show my support *hugs*
I know what that feels like and know that it's nice to know people care. Like other suggested above, talk to someone- anyone you feel comfortable enough to.
And just remember there are people that love you <3
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

Well I don't know how all this is going, but I know you still need solid mental health support as soon as possible.

I suspect there are many issues that need sorting out here and the only way forward is to get the intervention you need.

Now.

The anger is also not a good sign.

Before the police become involved you probably want to show that you recognize that you are having severe mental health issues and are seeking assistance.
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

bankside said:
NH, I have two questions which of course you can answer in as much or as little detail as you like.

First, i'm just curious if you've posted here before or lurked here for a while.

Second, I think one of the greatest ways forward is to help other people with their issues. So I have a question for you that I'd like your perspective on. You have a sexual approach to life, and you're willing to open yourself up in those kinds of environments. I was always the shy guy...never went to bath houses or picked people up or did the one night thing. I had a couple of awkward encounters with people I knew and I put a stop to it without even really following through in bed, so my boyfriend is my one and only for 13 years.

But even with him I can sometimes be shy. More at first but even now sometimes, and him too to be honest. I don't want that shyness to stop us from being honest with each other. I'm fascinated by people who can just open up sexually in different situations. What's it like?
Click to expand...

Sex is sex. I like doing it....so I do it. lol. If I see someone that attracts me....and they start to make me feel good sexually....if all things feel right...i'll probably have a little sex....it's better than giving into other things. :-)
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

Laugh alot is good.
I hope you laugh at yourself a lot.

I do laugh at myself for how silly i am.
 
Re: Suicidal thoughts ....help?

I don't like to laugh at myself AT ALL...because i've spent my entire like being laughed at by others and mistreated by others....the last time I want to do is laugh at MYSELF.... :-(
 
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