Gay man happily married to woman

[ass eater]

I read this on a site about a gay man saying he chose straight marriage because its the real thing. And he compares being gay with just having sexual impulses. He admits he has no choice ln being attracted to men, but he does have a choice about his relationships. Are any jubers here in this arrangement, can mixed orientations truly be happy?

 

[FootballJersey]

I find that to be very ridiculous... why force yourself to try to be involved with something that won't make you happy in term of sexual thing?

That remind me of my ex-bestie from a looong time ago who was very 'Christian' and asked me such a stupid question saying 'If there's this Christian man who is gay but his religion state that he cannot have gay sexy so he doesn't do gay sex but he really love you and you really love him, would you still get in a relationship with him?'

Of course, I responded to her with a simple 'Fuck no' and she got all pissed about it.

Or about another situation I had to deal with, with a gay man who were my friend (he's very fake, just FYI) and he's so desperate for a love because almost all gay guys won't go out with him due to his crappy personality so he tried to force himself to be 'straight' and tried dating a woman even though he felt no 'physical' and 'sexual' attraction to her and he even tried to jerk off to many different straight or lesbian porn and it didn't work for him at all.

So yeah... I will say this again, I find that extremely ridiculous that he forced himself to marry a woman just because the society set him to think it's the 'right' thing to do so and think having gay sexual is just 'impulsive'... rofl, the poor soul need help.

 

[FPNY]

I know many a gay man who married women.....they all got divorced. Some had kids so that may or not be a good thing to come of it. One even has a gay son...

 

[TickTockMan]

Only a schmuck would live such a life. Sounds like they are just scared of their own shadow.

 

[ass eater]

I thought he had to be bi, but it's very clear that he's gay and not bi from what he said. What confuses me is the wife, doesn't a woman want a husband who is attracted to her and find her sexually appealing, and don't have to ask god to give him an erection so that he can perform.

 

[luckynumbah7]

I suppose that depends on what you associate marriage with. So long as everyone is honest, I can't see why every marriage has to have sex.

 

[peeonme]

It's a wonderful thing when one reaches a point in life where they really don't give a fuck about what others might think.
As most know on this forum I have been married for nearly 44 years and have not gone outside of marriage for sex (unless masturbation counts).
I am at a place where I offer no apology for my life, I am happier than a pig in shit... quite content and at peace.
If the OP is curious about me, dig around in some old threads.
To each their own.

 

[LeicsDom]

I find that to be very ridiculous... why force yourself to try to be involved with something that won't make you happy in term of sexual thing?

Surely one day he will realise that a whole half of his needs are not being met
Bisexuals have a much harder time of it than gays

 

[TickTockMan]

It's a wonderful thing when one reaches a point in life where they really don't give a fuck about what others might think.
As most know on this forum I have been married for nearly 44 years and have not gone outside of marriage for sex (unless masturbation counts).
I am at a place where I offer no apology for my life, I am happier than a pig in shit... quite content and at peace.
If the OP is curious about me, dig around in some old threads.
To each their own.

Did you choose a "straight" life though? Did you know you were gay when you married?


I think there is a huge difference if you didn't. Falling in love with someone and staying in love is different than being in a marriage of convenience. Even if you did know, I am a firm believer in the gray area of sexuality. That maybe, just maybe you are gay, but there are a dozen (or so) non males you could go for fully.

 

[nyctopgam]

If the wife knows and is cool with it, I don't see why not.

Usually it's just the gay man happily married to a woman. The woman may not be happily married to him.

 

[nycguydowntown]

if they both know what's up then fine---but I know a lot of gay men married with kids and they mess around on the side and their wives absolutely don't know whats going on---some stay married for the kids and others genuinely love their wives as trusted best friends and don't want to take a chance finding the same with a guy.

 

[bankside]

I read this on a site about a gay man saying he chose straight marriage because its the real thing. And he compares being gay with just having sexual impulses. He admits he has no choice ln being attracted to men, but he does have a choice about his relationships. Are any jubers here in this arrangement, can mixed orientations truly be happy?

To make a simple comparison,it's like hating Brussels sprouts and loving carrots so choosing to eat Brussels sprouts every day. Some people consider it a moral accomplishment, or a sign of character or self discipline, when it's actually kind of perverse. Especially when it's about people rather than dinner vegetables.

It's not a path to growth or personal development to deny ourselves the possibility of a relationship with someone we can be attracted to, and it's limiting and even potentially cruel to deprive someone else of the opportunity to experience a relationship with someone attracted to them. It's also very often a self-deception to avoid the consequences of the truth.

 

[mikey3000]

Again, gays refuse to accept judgement from others, yet are so quick to dish it out. Oh the hypocrisy.
I think the majority of gay men aren't interested in loving relationships, so if they are happy in a mixed orientation marriage, all the power to them.

 

[TickTockMan]

Again, gays refuse to accept judgement from others, yet are so quick to dish it out. Oh the hypocrisy.
I think the majority of gay men aren't interested in loving relationships, so if they are happy in a mixed orientation marriage, all the power to them.

Who gets to define "loving"?

 

[Pierresro]

I was married at 23 a closeted catholic. at 30 I came out to her divorced her I have two str8 sons who call both me and my spouse Dad are close and my ex wife is a friend! The closet kills!

 

[eastofeden]

Let me guess...

....religious upbringing?

I know some people overcome it..others do not. Some come to terms with themselves and remain faithful despite the teaching of "Christ" (as told by men) because they actually remember what "Christ" actually represented...others...not so much.

The good thing..he is giving some lucky man a break by allowing him to avoid that mess....

He is the kind of guy I would have to scrub the stench off if I unfortunatey ended up in bed with him....I would never do it knowing who he is.

"because it's the real thing" says everything you need to know about him.

 

[eastofeden]

It's a wonderful thing when one reaches a point in life where they really don't give a fuck about what others might think.
As most know on this forum I have been married for nearly 44 years and have not gone outside of marriage for sex (unless masturbation counts).
I am at a place where I offer no apology for my life, I am happier than a pig in shit... quite content and at peace.
If the OP is curious about me, dig around in some old threads.
To each their own.

You don't..to my knowledge... invalidate other people's relationships as "not the REAL thing" because you are married..so you are not in the same category as he is.

The issue, in my opinion, is not that he is married...it is the statements he makes to support his decision.

 

[kallipolis]

Again, gays refuse to accept judgement from others, yet are so quick to dish it out. Oh the hypocrisy.
I think the majority of gay men aren't interested in loving relationships, so if they are happy in a mixed orientation marriage, all the power to them.

We all make judgements...no exceptions, for every human person is flawed.

Opinions are always welcomed by me for they represent another view, that I may learn something of value, even when disagreeing with an opposing opinion.

It has been my experience with gay friends, and acquaintances over the years that gay men begin to take much more interest in a serious loving relationship when they finally accept that despite their many orgasms shared with very many strangers, a certain emptiness develops leading them to understand that love is missing from their one night stands. I also stand guilty of having trodden the same path before falling deeply in love with my first partner.

 

[kallipolis]

Again, gays refuse to accept judgement from others, yet are so quick to dish it out. Oh the hypocrisy.
I think the majority of gay men aren't interested in loving relationships, so if they are happy in a mixed orientation marriage, all the power to them.

This is a vague generalisation can be applied to all human beings, without exception.

In due time most gay men tire of one night stands, and make efforts to create a loving relationship there being an awareness that clubbing, and late nights are not always compatible with a demanding job, and also a growing understanding that after 30 years of age the body is not so willing to accept the morning after issues that once upon a time most of us embraced with little, or no protest.

Life's experiences teach us what to do, and what not to do the result of having learned some very hard lessons when refusing to accept the truth of who we are. Living in the truth of who we know our self to be is good for ones mental, and physical health leading one to live a happier, and much more fulfilling life.

 

[ass eater]

Again, gays refuse to accept judgement froms others, yet are so quick to dish it out. Oh the hypocrisy.
I think the majority of gay men aren't interested in loving relationships, so if they are happy in a mixed orientation marriage, all the power to them.

So by your definition gay is a sexual impulse and none of us are really gay, were just horny sex addicts banging every man who has a pulse.