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He is HIV Positive

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I'm so glad that people are giving their voice to explain how DUMB this situation is....

To the original poster! listen....... i'd rather be sex-free then to have hiv/and or aids/ and herpes hepatitis or any other disease that i will have FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!

sex is cool or whatever but its not worth potentially dying over.. get a grip bro.. you not doing anyone a favor by having sex with an obviously promiscuous guy you met on a4a..... ugh whats sad is that no matter what anyone on here says you will still proly go out and have sex with this guy thinking your being safe bc your wearing a condom... Point is, when you go out having sex with strangers, you play russian roulette with your life. And if your going to have sex with someone that thinks they are neg then all these "safe" practices your talking about using with this pos guy should ALWAYS APPLY!
 
I understand having promiscuous sex is not everyone's cup of tea just like being celibate is not everyone's cup of tea. Everyone must choose for himself how he wishes to live his life.

For me, I prefer to be promiscuous. I lived celibate for three years and have no desire to be that way again.

So, what precautions must I use to reduce any risk out there? Let's face it. Unless I stay home alone and just jack off, there are risks with having sex. The answer of course is the "safer sex" practices.

Now, getting back to my OP, how well do I understand these practices? A rule of thumb is to assume everyone is HIV+ and use condoms which I do. Yes, the condom can break or slip off. Isn't that part of the risks one assumes when having sex?

Does knowing that the guy is definitely HIV+ make any difference with these practices? Well, it should not. These practices are designed to keep the blood and semen of the sex partner contained. So, in reality, his HIV status is immaterial. Of course, extra precaution will be used to ensure the condom does not slip off or break.

So, that guy I met last week on Manhunt who said he is HIV-, but then told me he had not been tested since "last spring" is covered. He really doesn't know his HIV status. There are a lot of guys like this out there hooking up. They really don't know their status.

I have learned during this discussion that I should stop sucking a naked cock, but cover it with a condom to reduce risk. This is something I just can't wrap my brain around at the moment. :confused:
 
mbamike said:
... Does knowing that the guy is definitely HIV+ make any difference with these practices? Well, it should not. These practices are designed to keep the blood and semen of the sex partner contained. So, in reality, his HIV status is immaterial...
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I think the answer is yes, statistically. Theoretically, probably not. Condoms break often enough, although rarely with "proper technique" (which is based on the top's behavior - a trust matter). One might calculate the risk of condom breakage plus the risk of getting the virus from a single exposure. Anally, that number is high enough for many people to balk. One thing I read: "The CDC's per-act estimate for acquiring HIV from unprotected receptive anal sex with an HIV-positive partner [with a detectable viral load] is 50 per 10,000." There are probably other statistics to use. The point is that even with very small numbers, I wouldn't take that risk. That's my own risk-aversion. I would do it only for something easy to treat, like some STDs and pregnancy. Not HIV. I'm usually the submissive and receptive partner, so I understand the desire, but I've never wanted to be fucked that badly. There isn't a good substitute for a real cock, but when sufficiently aroused, a reasonable facsimile might do the job.
 
lilman said:
I'm so glad that people are giving their voice to explain how DUMB this situation is....

To the original poster! listen....... i'd rather be sex-free then to have hiv/and or aids/ and herpes hepatitis or any other disease that i will have FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!
Click to expand...


Thank you Lilman. Admittedly I have not read all the posts in this thread because there are too many and too long. Here is the situation - anyone who has sex with a new partner now runs the risk of catching something. However, if it is KNOWN that the person is a carrier of HIV/AIDS and you still are willing to engage in sex, you are risking your own life and livelihood. I am sure that you are able to find someone else who is not an AIDS carrier to have safe sex with - you are playing Russian Roulette with your life. :mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:
 
mbamike said:
I understand having promiscuous sex is not everyone's cup of tea just like being celibate is not everyone's cup of tea. Everyone must choose for himself how he wishes to live his life.

For me, I prefer to be promiscuous. I lived celibate for three years and have no desire to be that way again.
Click to expand...

i just have to point out there is a middle ground between celibate and promiscuous. For me, I waited until I found Mr. Right. Sometimes I think that was insane to put myself through, and I just missed out on some problem-free casual fun along the way that would never have caused any harm. I get it that you don't have to wait for true love or anything like that. But there is also that middle ground. You have that with a fuck buddy? Any reason you couldn't just keep that going instead of taking on a risky situation?
 
I can keep my fuck buddy too. We agreed early in our relationship that I can continue to hook up with other guys as long as condoms are used and I tell him about the other guy before I hook up with him. I have an insatiable appetite for sex now, more than he can satisfy.

So, when I told him about my HIV+ friend, he gave me an insistent NO! I respect his wishes and cherish his companionship. We have been together for four months. I am not ready for our relationship to end. The HIV+ guy is no longer an option for me.

However, I still stand by my argument that as long as "safer sex" practices are used faithfully, the HIV status of the other guy is immaterial. There are lots of guys out there hooking up who have no idea of their true HIV status, but tell their hook ups they are HIV-.
 
mbamike said:
The HIV+ guy is no longer an option for me.
However, I still stand by my argument that as long as "safer sex" practices are used faithfully, the HIV status of the other guy is immaterial. There are lots of guys out there hooking up who have no idea of their true HIV status, but tell their hook ups they are HIV-.
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Well noted.
 
so what I am getting from you is you want to whore it up with guys who don't know there status and for sure will let a HIV guy do you? We call you a bug chaser. Hope you have great insurance. you will need it.
 
^ Bug chaser? I never heard that term before. I thought I was just a 'ho. I do love cock!

I get my health care through the VA because I am a veteran. So, our taxes are paying for my healthcare.
 
Thaats the way to waste taxpayers money, if you were to need treatment then!

It just seems careless to me that anyone would be playing with fire when you needn't.. As in the end you're bound to get burnt...

Just my two pence however,
Tom
 
On the one hand we have public health experts, three decades worth of medical and other research literature and hundreds of thousands of personal accounts that all warn against a promiscuous lifestyle within the gay community, in addition to the sheer weight of the documented history of the gay community within North-America and its relationship to HIV, and then there is you, with an insatiable appetite for casual sex with other men, having at his disposal all of the aforementioned.

Perhaps it's time to adjust your lifestyle?
 
mbamike said:
^ Bug chaser? I never heard that term before. I thought I was just a 'ho. I do love cock!

I get my health care through the VA because I am a veteran. So, our taxes are paying for my healthcare.
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lol, that actually made me laugh. You really can do what you want of course. I am not perfect but I just wouldn't have sex with some HIV+ guy from a site. Especially not Adam4Adam. I am on there. I know what goes on. It isn't just HIV on that site. I have a friend who works for the Health Dept and he said A4A is where 20% of the new cases of Syphilis comes from.
 
^ Now we are talking. . .

As Sargent Joe Friday would say "Just the facts ma'am, just the facts."
 
mbamike said:
^ Now we are talking. . .

As Sargent Joe Friday would say "Just the facts ma'am, just the facts."
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OMG, you are fighting hard to let POZ guys fuck you. It's weird. The facts are you ARE at risk. There is NO question about it.
 
Bluedragon,

Do you have any empirical data or expert statements to support your OPINION?

IF your partner had HIV. . . the risk of infection through unprotected sexual intercourse, if your partner was infected is only about 1 infection per 1000 exposures. If the risk was doubled, then your risk would still only be 1 in 500. Edward W Hook, MD - HIV Prevention, stds
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Since I use "safe sex" principles. . .
 
Safe sex does not mean 0% risk.
It would be good to know, if you have anal sex with a stranger (i.e. a hook-up) what is the percentage chance of infection if you don't use condoms. What is the percentage chance of infection if you do use condoms?

That will let you work out, for instance, if you sleep with 100 random strangers, how likely it is that you will have HIV.

It would be nice to know 100 random strangers = what chance of having HIV at the end of that orgy.
 
mbamike said:
I respect his wishes and cherish his companionship. We have been together for four months. I am not ready for our relationship to end. The HIV+ guy is no longer an option for me.
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I'm so happy to read of your respect. My partner has made it very clear that our relationship is over if I ever become involved with anyone else. It would be nice to have options but I cannot argue when he's worth it to me. Best wishes on finding fun AND staying well.
 
ok. The demonizing of poz people won't stand.
The bareback sex ads are full of guys who want to meet a d&d free person or group for sex.
If you're really negative, then why would you want to have risky sex with people who have risky sex often. The same is true for Craigslist and many other hook up sites. The fact is, mo one really has a real determination of status other than test results. That's it. If you've had sex without them, you've already put yourself at risk. That's real.
 
Condom the entire time...if he has an issue...move on.
 
This thread was started in Dec 2010. The OP has long ago made his decision.
 
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