HELP! I got drunk and had sex with a potato.....

[Willie Boy]

and the potato had babies! Now I have a dozen potato head babies crawling around and screaming. And they wont STFU!

What's worse is my partner figured it out. He's pissed and jealous, and he's crying. He's afraid I am going to leave him for the potato.

Now he's decided to leave me! He can't bare children. He says he's leaving so I can be with the potato and we can raise our potato head children and maybe I will be a grandfather someday.

My life is in ruins, what should I do?

 

[Willie Boy]

What do you mean?

 

[neoachilles]

It's your own damn fault Willie. Always wrap it up, dude. On the bright side, if you get a hankering for fries, at least you're in luck.

 

[Willie Boy]

How dare you! Those are my children your talking about!

 

[neoachilles]

Fine, tater tots, then. Better?

 

[Willie Boy]

I mean are you still drunk? I'm not sure of the gestation period of a pregnant potato, so I'm trying to figure out whether you're still drunk enough to fuck a potato or whether it happened a while ago.

It actually happened a few weeks ago, but the potato just had the babies last night.

How can I fix this situation?

 

[Willie Boy]

Fine, tater tots, then. Better?

You are one sick bastard, insisting on eating my babies! What is with you?

 

[Willie Boy]

Go on Maury and prove their your tata tots first. Potatos are notoriously slutty vegetables.

They're mine alright. One has my nose, another my eyes (all ten of them).

 

[Willie Boy]

I'm sure they'd be delightful with sour cream & sweet chilli sauce.

These are my little children and I will defend them!

I will do right by them. But how do I keep my partner from leaving me?

 

[Willie Boy]

What should you do?

I suggest you throw the booze away and put down the crack pipe.

But my partner used to love it when I shoved my pipe up his crack! How am I gonna get him back if I get rid of it?

 

[neoachilles]

You are one sick bastard, insisting on eating my babies! What is with you?

I just bought a fresh bottle of ketchup, and I have nothing to use it with. Look, forget about the babies, get some aluminum foil, wrap that bitch mother of theirs up real nice and pop that man-trapping whore in the oven. A little sour cream, some chives, and there's nothing keeping you and your man from raising the little hash browns together.

 

[Willie Boy]

I just bought a fresh bottle of ketchup, and I have nothing to use it with. Look, forget about the babies, get some aluminum foil, wrap that bitch mother of theirs up real nice and pop that man-trapping whore in the oven. A little sour cream, some chives, and there's nothing keeping you and your man from raising the little hash browns together.

Tie him to a chair?? I'm sure he'd be just as delicious with sour cream and sweet chilli sauce

Do you really think these will work? Will he really be willing to raise another bitch's babies as his own? What if he decides to eat them?

 

[fetaby]

 

[Willie Boy]

But they do look so tasty in that picture.....


NO! I must not do this!


*grabs bottle of ketchup*

 

[Willie Boy]

Nope. There were no drugs involved. Unless the potato slipped me a Mickey or something. My head is still spinning.

 

[gsdx]

Consider yourself fortunate.

One weekend I got drunk and had sex with a rock.

The next week, I got drunk again and had sex with a dog.

At least the kids got along well with each other:

 

[Willie Boy]

You were date raped!

But I wasn't even on a date! Just checking on my greenhouse. How could this have happened, my life is over!

 

[gsdx]

Nope. There were no drugs involved. Unless the potato slipped me a Mickey or something. My head is still spinning.

That would be a 'Mickey Finn'.

(A Mickey is a flat bottle of booze you can put into your back pocket or slip into your sock and hide beneath your pant leg.)

 

[Willie Boy]

That would be a 'Mickey Finn'.

(A Mickey is a flat bottle of booze you can put into your back pocket or slip into your sock and hide beneath your pant leg.)

You must be Canadian, because that is just a flask here in the US.

 

[Willie Boy]

But how do I get my partner back?