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How comfortable are you with YOUR homosexuality?

How comfortable are you with YOUR homosexuality?

  • EXTREMELY comfortable

    Votes: 50 38.5%

  • MOSTLY comfortable

    Votes: 38 29.2%

  • SOMEWHAT comfortable

    Votes: 24 18.5%

  • NOT AT ALL!!!

    Votes: 18 13.8%
  • Total voters
    130
mbamike said:
Every time one of these type questions come around, I think of Sean Kennedy who was murdered for being openly gay. This happened right here in the town in which I live a few years ago.

The son-of-a bitch that murdered him should have rotted in prison for his murder. Instead, he only served about two fucking years. There was no justice served here.

So, am I comfortable about my homosexuality being known publicly, "HELL NO!"
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Thank you. I for one would NEVER , EVER have one of those "rainbow" bumper stickers on my car no matter how proud I am that I'm gay.

No disrepect to anybody that does have the rainbow bumper stickers but I think they are an invitation to vandalism or a hate crime.
 
There is an element of fear of hate in all of our lives, I guess it's just a matter of how much we allow it to control our lives. A bumper sticker on one's car is a pretty frivolous matter, so.
 
I'd say mostly comfortable. It's just not something I openly brag about. My private life is just that. Private.

Everyone that needs to know, does.

And I'd say "MOSTLY" comfortable because, yes, it has made my life a lot harder. Were I a teen TODAY, I might vote Extremely comfortable. Things are different now. Not perfect, but we've made a lot of progress. ..|
 
I don't think I've ever been uncomfortable with it. The only problem I had to deal with was actualy dealing with the consequences of being gay, growing up in a small town, populated almost exclusively with backward fuckwits. I never really saw being gay as the problem, just my enviroment. Now, I'm a mad militant poof. I'm more than comfortable.
 
Audio Tech said:
And I'd say "MOSTLY" comfortable because, yes, it has made my life a lot harder. ..|
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I relate 100%. I have no personal problems with being gay. I just don't like how being gay can complicate my life. Homophobia and discrimination sucks. Sometimes it bothers me more than others times.
 
MoufOfKhaos said:
I'm sorry, but i'm very bothered by this.

What do you mean, act straight? Does he desire to leave "the gay life" behind, marry a chick, start a family, pop some babies out? Is he into tanning and fist pumping, bringing a couple of chicks home and fucking in a jacuzzi? Is he on the extreme side; a homophobe, a bible thumper that believes that one misquoted line in leviticus? Because that all entails "acting straight".

By extension, what do you mean, act gay? Are you twisting it out when you walk? Wearing pastel scarfs, argyle and dress shoes everywhere, every day? Concerned about the latest high end got it at the mall fashions? Are you able to vogue, bring it to the ball at a moments' notice? On the extremes, do you get a discount when you go to the bath houses; do they know you by name? I know i'm using stereotypes here that are and are not outdated, but I'm 26 and still don't know what "acting gay" is other than being attracted to, fucking and dating men.

Or do you mean he's naturally masculine and one of those guys you wouldn't suspect to be gay? And that you're naturally feminine (or exaggerating your subtle femininity) and people will assume you to be gay?

Sounds like your ex has real strength, and that you have some growing up to do.

I know not everyone is comfortable and that's fine, but damn man.
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I resisted responding to this post.....because I dont want my thread locked.
Your very rude and disrespectful.

I was just saying that I set off people's "gaydar " like no other.

I was just envious because my exboyfriend didn't have to deal with homophobia, discrimination and rejection if he didn't want to.

My coming out to everyone he saw he voluntaraly put on the yoke of homophobia, discrimination and rejection.

I dont think that that is "strength"......more stupidity than anything else.
 
larryng said:
I resisted responding to this post.....because I dont want my thread locked.
Your very rude and disrespectful.
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No, I have a different opinion than you do, and choose to express it without kissing the wounds it may cause. Sorry, I'm not much for coddling. If you can't respond with sense, maybe the thread is better off locked - but it won't be from anything I said.

larryng said:
I was just saying that I set off people's "gaydar " like no other.
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I got that(paragraph #3).

larryng said:
I was just envious because my exboyfriend didn't have to deal with homophobia, discrimination and rejection if he didn't want to.

My coming out to everyone he saw he voluntaraly put on the yoke of homophobia, discrimination and rejection.

I dont think that that is "strength"......more stupidity than anything else.
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So, being able to put a different face on homosexuality, defy the stereotypes and live openly and honestly... that's somehow stupid? How? How is loving yourself enough to be honest about who you are wrong?

And here you were, talking about disrespect.
 
Aaron said:
I love being gay. Everyday. My "struggle" with it lasted about half a day when I was 15.

I've had some trouble with some things along the way, like first coming out, but I am and always have been incredibly comfortable with it.
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Same here. It took me a little bit to acknowledge it, but once I did, I accepted it almost immediately.
 
I don't live in one of those countries that have a liberal attitude... so being gay is not as carefree as it is in NY.

I am partially lucky that 50 years of communism really kicked the shit out of christian values and dogmas, that's probably why there are virtually no attacks on homosexuals. But people are scared/suspicious of homosexuals because they arent used to having gays around... at least they dont think we should be killed in the name of "god"

Most gay people here act straight and those who dont have a tough life because its much harder to get a job, you get so many looks, people talking behind your back... very uncomforatable. But i've found a group of people that i trust (straight and gay) and when we're alone I can let my guard down which is relaxing... but on the other hand I think the straight acting experience really improved my acting/lying/social skills. Maybe I'll go into politics..
 
Comfortable with it? Not entirely. My father is disappointed (raising two gay sons), I know. He'd never admit to it, but it's obvious enough, and while I know I shouldn't let it bother me I just can't help it. Sometimes, yeah, I wish I could be straight (who doesn't? it'd be so much easier), but hey-ho, that's not the way sexuality works, I guess.

As for expressing it... No, just no. Cannot stand drags, or even overly effeminate men. Maybe it's just cause I try to act more manly than the average gay guy, but seriously, you were born a man. Go drink some cider, put up a shelf, talk about cars, lift some weights, etc.

(Of course I'm satirising my point a little bit, as I don't buy into that defined-gender-roles bullshit. Still cringe at overly camp men, however.)
 
I struggled some with being secretly gay in junior high and high school but now at age 48, I'm EXTREMELY comfortable. I'm very lucky to have a loving family and friends.
 
I'm very comfortable now, I wasn't always, in fact I spent years trying to convince myself I wasn't. But I am, and I love it now. I actually got really upset a few months ago when someone told me I wasn't a very convincing homo.

Interestingly enough, I'm not out to my entire family yet, and it's because of my dad, not me. My dad's side of the family, being old world Italian can't keep anything to themselves so if I told one of them, everyone would know. They would never say anything to me directly, but my dad depends on them for some important business contacts, and me coming out to my extended family would effectively cause him to lose a good chunk of his business. So I told him I'd stay in the closet to that side of the family until he retires in a couple years. I only see them a couple times a year so it's not a big deal.
 
Mostly comfortable with myself but there's no denying, we live in a straight world. So I keep level headed perspective and intellectualize my place in society.
 
elvin1 said:
So fucking comfortable it's not even funny.

Don't like it? Kiss my ass or go fuck your girl and work out your frustrations and insecurities.
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I don't think it is possible to say that to people in real life. If you have a boss at work, you owuld probably be fired. A group of straight thugs or gangbangers or homophobic bros, I doubt you would say stuff like that in front of them. In your head maybe.
 
elvin1 said:
Actually, I have. For realz. Everyone that knows me knows I am gay. I have nothing to be ashamed of.

I don't think you know me enough to know what's in my head or to assume what I would do or say.

But I can see why it's not the same for others and how it would be an issue for them.
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In front of every badass homophobe? I'd have to see that to believe it. "fuck you, go fuck your girlfriend." Won't believe til I see.
 
I think one of the main differences is, in the LARGE metropolitan type cities, gays are everywhere... like pigeons... you simply can't avoid them, and have to learn to live with them...

... while in smaller, rural towns, it's quite easy to single out the sole few gays there, who are more of the elephant in the room, and seriously out numbered, and dealing with more hick mentalities.

I believe your comfort zones with being gay depends on how much you're in fear of your life, and your surroundings.

It's easier to blend in to a city of millions then a town of hundreds/thousands.
 
For me, somewhat comfortable. It has taken me personally many years to come to terms with my sexuality, regrettably too many years. It's been a difficult journey for me to go from guilt and shame to acceptance (I am one of those who needed therapy). I am not yet at the point in my life where I can say: out and proud.
 
Until society changes, I'll only be somewhat comfortable. My family is okay with it but I still have to get past the beginning awkwardness of adjusting from "when will you get a girlfriend?" to "when will you get a boyfriend?" and all that jazz.
The public is the problem.
 
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