i am not gay- but why do i like gay porn?

[bayern20]

How is your families view towards homosexuality? friends?

 

[ibox_2000]

It's like SoilWork is writing my biography.

I, too, denied to myself that I'm gay (for 39 years) despite:
-being a gay porn fan
-dreaming of being w/ guys
-telling myself "I am too busy to have a girlfriend" / "I respect her too much to fuck her" / "I just haven't met the right girl yet"
-being oblivious when girls flirted w/ me
-checking out guys everywhere
-etc.

I'd say to myself, "But I can't be gay because I'm not a flamer."

One night last fall, I suddenly realized, then immediately accepted that I AM gay. It was as sudden and complete as throwing a switch. Since then I've found a boyfriend and come out to all my friends and immediate family. When I came out to my sister, she said, "Of course. I've known for years." My only regret is not having accepted it 25+ years ago. I've learned that being gay is only an issue to yourself; no one else cares. I still have all my friends.

So back to the point of the thread. You may be straight like you claim. Who am I to call you a liar? But I suspect you're lying to yourself. I'd wager you're the same as myself and several others who've commented. You're just a couple stages behind.

 

[CGHJ]

I'm just deeply curious, what do you like about gay porn? Assuming that you ARE straight (cough), what it is about gay porn that fascinates you? Putting everything else aside, what kind of gay porn do you like?

 

[eyesforu]

How is your families view towards homosexuality? friends?

they are homophobic - completely

 

[eyesforu]

It's like SoilWork is writing my biography.

I, too, denied to myself that I'm gay (for 39 years) despite:
-being a gay porn fan
-dreaming of being w/ guys
-telling myself "I am too busy to have a girlfriend" / "I respect her too much to fuck her" / "I just haven't met the right girl yet"
-being oblivious when girls flirted w/ me
-checking out guys everywhere
-etc.

I'd say to myself, "But I can't be gay because I'm not a flamer."

One night last fall, I suddenly realized, then immediately accepted that I AM gay. It was as sudden and complete as throwing a switch. Since then I've found a boyfriend and come out to all my friends and immediate family. When I came out to my sister, she said, "Of course. I've known for years." My only regret is not having accepted it 25+ years ago. I've learned that being gay is only an issue to yourself; no one else cares. I still have all my friends.

So back to the point of the thread. You may be straight like you claim. Who am I to call you a liar? But I suspect you're lying to yourself. I'd wager you're the same as myself and several others who've commented. You're just a couple stages behind.

all the things you said there, only one of them relate to me (the bolded) and that's it, and i'm not even a fan.... i don't do anything else you did

 

[eyesforu]

I'm just deeply curious, what do you like about gay porn? Assuming that you ARE straight (cough), what it is about gay porn that fascinates you? Putting everything else aside, what kind of gay porn do you like?

i don't know what i like about it.... i just do and i find it disgusting at the same time.... i like watch 5 mins per day.... and i try not to, but i simply don't know why i still do

 

[eyesforu]

My first question is dude what do you think being gay means? Do you know or are you just confused by gender stereotypes. Define for me how you think you would have to change as a person if you were gay. I'm not saying you are, strictly on a hypothetical basis, if you were

Secondly you do realise that you can hate yourself, find it totally disgusting and think you'll never want to be with a guy just because your at a society,your upbringing an experiences have given you a physcolgical barrier which you need to overcome before you'll be able to express your true feelings. Other people and yourself have told yourself over and over again that it's disgusting and eventually convinced yourself that you feel that way.

Third point I work with kids and while I may nto have perfect gaydar I can usually spot a minor when I see them. Either that or your just really insecure, immature and stubborn. I'd be surprised if your older than 16. and that's probably why you get boners all the time and your right at that age everyone dose and it is no indication of sexual preference.

Inital affermation statements and repitition are the best ways to spot when someone is lying even to themselves read some of your posts and count how many times you feel the need to say your not gay. If you were truely as secure in your sexuality as your trying to convince us then you wouldn't feel as upset as you obviously do when we say you are.

Anyway you want to know why your not gay but are attracted to gay porn. I would have thought that question would have been answered by the tag line under jub.com up there but I tell you what. Read it again think why would a straight guy be here and if you can't accept the answer we've been trying to give you move on in your search because while you will find people here who will give you a answer. It's not the one you want to hear and eventually you'll either accept it or die searching for something that dosen't exist.

i did not have time to read all that ------------- boring

anyways... from what i read, you also think i'm gay. Repetitions? that's a sign that i'm gay? wow.... i did not make the topic to ask people if i'm gay or not, i am confident, certain that i am straight... i just wanted to know if it's normal, and apparantly all you gay guys (BLIND) don't know anything

 

[Soilwork]

explains why the idea of actually having ex freaks you out so much.

It also might explain why you think that since people don't think you're gay that you think you're not gay yourself.

Being gay is just like being straight, really.. we all are just normal guys with normal lives and normal likes and dislikes. We also get hard when watching gay porn. So we're not much different from you.

By saying that nobody in your family is gay or that people who know you all "know" that you're straight, you're just doing the same things we've all been doing for years.. albeit out loud.

Gotta love the internet.

anyway, You might not be ready, but dude, you're not straight. You may as well deal with it now.. you're 18 and therefore you're a man... and you gotta start dealing with your issues like one.

 

[Soilwork]

i just wanted to know if it's normal, and apparantly all you gay guys (BLIND) don't know anything

You don't need to get angry.. you asked us if it's "normal". And no, it's not.

but why would you want to be "normal" anyway?

 

[eyesforu]

Try not to but can't resist. I'm starting to find this cute

Maybe you could try and find and understanding and cute guy too watch it with you and see how you feel and if that dosen't work try tequila/vodka/wine what ever you like and see how you feel. If you can do that and come back and still say your completely sure your straight we'll stop calling you a little gay boi.

Allthough if you go around calling them disgusting it might be a little hard

my friends aren't gay....not gonna happen.... and anyways i'm not stupid.... drinking gets you drunk... anything can happen after that... i don't have control of what i do, so no!

 

[eyesforu]

explains why the idea of actually having ex freaks you out so much.

It also might explain why you think that since people don't think you're gay that you think you're not gay yourself.

Being gay is just like being straight, really.. we all are just normal guys with normal lives and normal likes and dislikes. We also get hard when watching gay porn. So we're not much different from you.

By saying that nobody in your family is gay or that people who know you all "know" that you're straight, you're just doing the same things we've all been doing for years.. albeit out loud.

Gotta love the internet.

anyway, You might not be ready, but dude, you're not straight. You may as well deal with it now.. you're 18 and therefore you're a man... and you gotta start dealing with your issues like one.

i could care less what my family thinks.....sure they are homophomic, i am too

i admit it....sorry gay guys.... your lucky i haven't beaten you up cause i stand stand gay guys

this is getting frustrating.... you guys are taking everything i saw and using it towards your dumb idea that i'm gay

 

[eyesforu]

You don't need to get angry.. you asked us if it's "normal". And no, it's not.

but why would you want to be "normal" anyway?

k that's all i wanted to know

 

[eyesforu]

You win dude. You're totally straight. There's absolutely nothing unusual about a straight guy who can't seem to stay away from looking at gay porn and who joins gay message board sites.

Absolutely nothing. I bet your friends would totally agree that there's nothing queer about it at all. I'm not sure why you asked our opinion about your sexuality, since it's so obvious to you that you're totally straight.

now sarcasm is in play?

 

[eyesforu]

Oh I'm sorry if that's all you wanted to know.

No it's not normal your either gay and in denial or the worlds only person who gets turned on by gay porn and is actually completely straight.

That is unless they changed the means of the words gay and straight while I was out with my boyfriend last night you might want to check the dictionary and get back to me.

Oh and your repitions are not a sign your gay, their a sigh your LYING! I know about being 18 I suspect other things

what was i thinking? i hate you guys... but i like it when you fuck... yes i'm straight, i know i'm straighht..... and no i had abour 20 people who privately PMd me saying they are also in my situation

 

[eyesforu]

So, you're 18?

But your profile tells me that your birthday is April 6.

It means you were under 18 when you joined this site.

yeah.... so 17 and 9 months

i donno

but i'm sure about my age lol.... i mean now that is in question?

 

[Soilwork]

Let's not be too hard on him. we were all desperate to find some way to not be gay when were younger.

He's just found a rather unique way of doing it.

He doesnt' like the news he got and now he's lashing out at us. We told him that he's gay, and he doesn't wanna hear it. So he's saying we dont know anything, when I think it's pretty obvious that we DO know a bit about being gay.. we ARE.

But it's cool.

He'll come out when he's ready. Let's just hope it's before he makes one of those mistake marriages that some of the men here have made.

 

[Soilwork]

i admit it....sorry gay guys.... your lucky i haven't beaten you up cause i stand stand gay guys

in my case, you're lucky you aren't in the position to try. Same with Joe, I'd bet. Just because we're gay doesn't mean we can't fight back and win.

you dont' have to tell us you're homophobic, we can TELL you're homophobic.

There's nothing sadder than a homophobic gay guy who's disgusted by himself. It's why we all feel bad for you. We know what you're doing through.

And believe it ot not, we're in your side here...

 

[eyesforu]

Let's not be too hard on him. we were all desperate to find some way to not be gay when were younger.

He's just found a rather unique way of doing it.

He doesnt' like the news he got and now he's lashing out at us. We told him that he's gay, and he doesn't wanna hear it. So he's saying we dont know anything, when I think it's pretty obvious that we DO know a bit about being gay.. we ARE.

But it's cool.

He'll come out when he's ready. Let's just hope it's before he makes one of those mistake marriages that some of the men here have made.

face it.... i don't get along with you people.... you are soo emotional and weird. I won't mary.... well idon't know yet, but i'm young to think about marriage right now

and i'm not gay.... i'm not mad at you for calling me gay... have your opinions... i just don't think that watching gay porn means your gay....

 

[eyesforu]

in my case, you're lucky you aren't in the position to try. Same with Joe, I'd bet. Just because we're gay doesn't mean we can't fight back and win.

you dont' have to tell us you're homophobic, we can TELL you're homophobic.

There's nothing sadder than a homophobic gay guy who's disgusted by himself. It's why we all feel bad for you. We know what you're doing through.

And believe it ot not, we're in your side here...

how can you be homophobic and gay? it doesn't make sense

and if you see that i'm homophomic. then no wonder you don't give me right advices, because i'm not like you, i'll never be like you

 

[Soilwork]

i had abour 20 people who privately PMd me saying they are also in my situation

Well, they're all in the same situation that you're in, and luckily, they're all getting the advice from us vicariously through you.

So I guess you've done a great service to them.. I really hope all 21 of you are listening.

WE are not the enemy here, you're your own worst one. Many of the guys here have been feeling like you... "I can't be gay, I hate gay people, I don't act gay, nobody I know is gay".

It's a bad place to find yourself in, but there's a way out.

you might notice that you're lashing out at us and we're not lashing back.

We're all willing to give you a chance.

Take it.