Identifying as Queer vs. Gay

[arpeggi]

So, this Jezebel article has been making the rounds on facebook with most of my gay friends. While I find the article to be a very interested read, with mostly important points that I agree with, there's one very small paragraph devoted to identifying as "queer" vs. gay.

I've lived in Portland, OR about a year and a half now. Since being here, nearly every gay person I have met chooses to identify as Queer. Most are people who have lived here a few years or more. Most are in there 20's or 30's. Most, when meeting me knowing I have a partner, ask if I identify as Gay or Queer. This was new to me. I had never met anyone choosing to identify as Queer, certainly not this many people, or been approached about my choice of identifier.

So with my experience and what I've learned and what this article explains, I'm curious to know what more people among the LGBT community think about this. Have you chosen to identify as Queer instead of Gay? Why or why not? What is your opinion of other people doing this.

Also feel free to use this thread to discuss the rest of the article, as I'm sure it strikes a few chords of opinion.

 

[SaskGuy]

I identify as gay, because I am gay. I wouldn't call myself queer because that is a slur.

 

[zoltanspawn]

People need so badly to be special.

It's hard to stand out.

 

[bankside]

I don't even care for the idea of "identifying" to get to the point.

I am aware that I am gay.

And that article was nonsense for at least the first half. Tell me if the last half explains that the first half was satire, and then I'd read it.

 

[G-Lexington]

To me, "queer" means "either not cis or not straight (or perhaps neither)". So I don't mind being called "queer", although using my definition, it's a bit inexact. "Gay" is clearer, so I stick with that.

I know several people whose genders and sexualities become something of a mess of syllables and hyphens. One guy is "pangendered-assigned-male-at-birth subordinate-pansexual". He usually just says "queer".

And to forestall the inevitable question, no, I don't know how much of that syllable salad is accurate. But he says it is, and I have no problem accepting it.

Lex

 

[arpeggi]

I guess I don't think of it as a slur. Seems like a fairly antiquated slur being re-appropriated. I think the usage is a fairly pretentious way of say one is an "intellectual" gay, and assume it's derived from Queer Studies being so common in upper-education.

 

[arpeggi]

People need so badly to be special.

It's hard to stand out.

I think this is getting closer to what I think. I think it's more image-related that intellectual. I think it's the new trendy way of saying you're gay, but gay is too rooted in cliche. It's an attempt at saying you're gay but being inclusive of the greater LGBT community, meanwhile alienating the gay community.

 

[eastofeden]

The word "queer" annoys me for some reason......maybe multiple reasons...

Gay works for me just fine

 

[arpeggi]

I know several people whose genders and sexualities become something of a mess of syllables and hyphens. One guy is "pangendered-assigned-male-at-birth subordinate-pansexual". He usually just says "queer".

Lex

This is perfectly understandable and sensible. But the "queer" people I know are gay and cis.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

So, this Jezebel article has been making the rounds on facebook with most of my gay friends. While I find the article to be a very interested read, with mostly important points that I agree with, there's one very small paragraph devoted to identifying as "queer" vs. gay.

I've lived in Portland, OR about a year and a half now. Since being here, nearly every gay person I have met chooses to identify as Queer. Most are people who have lived here a few years or more. Most are in there 20's or 30's. Most, when meeting me knowing I have a partner, ask if I identify as Gay or Queer. This was new to me. I had never met anyone choosing to identify as Queer, certainly not this many people, or been approached about my choice of identifier.

So with my experience and what I've learned and what this article explains, I'm curious to know what more people among the LGBT community think about this. Have you chosen to identify as Queer instead of Gay? Why or why not? What is your opinion of other people doing this.

Also feel free to use this thread to discuss the rest of the article, as I'm sure it strikes a few chords of opinion.

gons read it

thankyou

 

[Agent Provocateur]

People need so badly to be special.

It's hard to stand out.

This is exactly the reasoning behind "queer vs gay". The entire debate is utterly ridiculous.

 

[xbuzzerx]

I have no idea if there is any sort of purported "proper" difference between the two terms.

My only experience of differentiating the two is that on my college campus, everything with gay in the title was pretty "ordinary", support groups, social groups, etc. Everything with "queer" in the title was really militant... rainbow hair, aggressive protests, etc. Start arguments with random people about homosexuality kind of fierce gay guys.

So I definitely favor the use of "gay."

 

[eastofeden]

I have no idea if there is any sort of purported "proper" difference between the two terms.

My only experience of differentiating the two is that on my college campus, everything with gay in the title was pretty "ordinary", support groups, social groups, etc. Everything with "queer" in the title was really militant... rainbow hair, aggressive protests, etc. Start arguments with random people about homosexuality kind of fierce gay guys.

So I definitely favor the use of "gay."

THIS is what annoys me about "queer"...thanks...I would have thought about it all night until I figured out why...you saved me a lot of time

 

[bankside]

I'm reappropriating the word "queer" from unexamined social structures and the hegemonic dynamic created by institutionalized and reflexive identitism. I shall accomplish this by spelling it "kweourgh." We need to reclaim a kweourgh space not to normalize otherness but to celebrate it.

 

[G-Lexington]

This is perfectly understandable and sensible. But the "queer" people I know are gay and cis.

But, see, I think that's their call. If they feel "queer" is a better descriptor for them - regardless of your opinion on the matter - I don't see any reason to argue the point.

Lex

 

[arpeggi]

But, see, I think that's their call. If they feel "queer" is a better descriptor for them - regardless of your opinion on the matter - I don't see any reason to argue the point.

Lex

Of course it's their call. People can identify however they want. That doesn't mean I'm out of line trying to examine and discuss the intentions and ways it affects the LGBT community.

 

[PowerRanger]

I Like more the word "gay"

 

[LilBit]

I prefer to identify as queer because it's less confining. If I identify as either bi or gay (let alone pansexual, which is probably more accurate for me than either of the other terms), I have people coming at me from all directions questioning my self-identification (c.f. grimshaw, pat). Queerness gives me wiggle room.

 

[bort138]

It's discussions like this that make glad I have no connection to the "gay community" and the politics that come with it.

 

[bort138]

Why, Bort? Why exactly are your better off having no connection to the gay community?

Discussing the correct way to label our "identities" isn't my idea of fun is all. I'd rather spend my time in other ways. I don't think I'm better or worse than anyone else.