if you could have one thing for Xmas (literally anything)

[belamyi]

It's really hard, because one thing is (leaving aside those who are literally not in the market) the guys I find pretty and even sexy, and those that I actually find exciting.

 

[Alistair]

I’d like Cormac back for Christmas.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

I’d like Cormac back for Christmas.

And Lexie. Stupid gargoyle owes me $20.

 

[Peloso]

I’d like Cormac back for Christmas.

Careful what you wish for. If he's a zombie now he could infect everyone on the forum.

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Careful what you wish for. If he's a zombie now he could infect everyone on the forum.

I fail to understand what that would change.

 

[Peloso]

I fail to understand what that would change.

Well if everybody here became a zombie we would probably see more typos.

 

[belamyi]

Careful what you wish for. If he's a zombie now he could infect everyone on the forum.

Zombies infected by a zombie? Would that bring them back to real life?

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

Zombies infected by a zombie? Would that bring them back to real life?

We must've passed our exit cuz now we on Shady Oaks Boulevard.

 

[belamyi]

Well if everybody here became a zombie we would probably see more typos.

You mean than usual.

 

[Kulindahr]

Have you tried slashing her tires?

I don't know where cabinfever lives, but if it's a place with cold winters there's a rather crazy alternative to slashing:

1. wait until the middle of the night
2. mix up a quart of gelatin, nice and hot
3. put gelatin and a tire pump in a bag, with a LONG tube for connecting the pump to the tire
4. sneak out to the target vehicle
5. pick a tire
6. remove the valve stem cap and let out some air
7. fill the connecting tube with gelatin mix
8. connect tube to tire and pump
9. pump gelatin into the tire
10. repeat 7 - 9 as needed/desired
11. replace valve stem cap
12. wait twenty minutes
13. roll the vehicle forward and repeat 5 - 11 with a different tire
14. clean up any spilled gelatin mix

Some of my older brother's classmates when he was living in a neighborhood that had a bunch of houses filled with college students while attending university and renting a house got sick and tired of some obnoxious, arrogant female neighbor who was constantly harassing them and treated most of the neighborhood like dirt. They came up with this idea to strike back. The gelatin sets up hard in the cold, making the tire off-balance; rolling the car before doing a second tire makes two tires off-balance and not matching. Driving is made into pure hell -- and the bonus is that the tires themselves aren't ruined.
[They let her suffer for a few days before leaving an anonymous note telling her how to solve the problem.]

 

[Kulindahr]

One possibility:

Five pounds of $100 bills would be a bit more than a quarter million.

I'll take ten tons of those bills!

 

[Peloso]

You mean than usual.

Yes, that's what I meant.

Coincidentally, it's also what I said.

 

[Peloso]

I don't know where cabinfever lives, but if it's a place with cold winters there's a rather crazy alternative to slashing:

1. wait until the middle of the night
2. mix up a quart of gelatin, nice and hot
3. put gelatin and a tire pump in a bag, with a LONG tube for connecting the pump to the tire
4. sneak out to the target vehicle
5. pick a tire
6. remove the valve stem cap and let out some air
7. fill the connecting tube with gelatin mix
8. connect tube to tire and pump
9. pump gelatin into the tire
10. repeat 7 - 9 as needed/desired
11. replace valve stem cap
12. wait twenty minutes
13. roll the vehicle forward and repeat 5 - 11 with a different tire
14. clean up any spilled gelatin mix

Some of my older brother's classmates when he was living in a neighborhood that had a bunch of houses filled with college students while attending university and renting a house got sick and tired of some obnoxious, arrogant female neighbor who was constantly harassing them and treated most of the neighborhood like dirt. They came up with this idea to strike back. The gelatin sets up hard in the cold, making the tire off-balance; rolling the car before doing a second tire makes two tires off-balance and not matching. Driving is made into pure hell -- and the bonus is that the tires themselves aren't ruined.
[They let her suffer for a few days before leaving an anonymous note telling her how to solve the problem.]

Wouldn't it be simpler to just put a black mamba in her glove compartment?

 

[Kulindahr]

Since we're going for utterly crazy, my wish would be that I would wake up Christmas morning as a Druid Lord Adept (DLA) from my old fantasy role-playing game. A DLA has the ability to totally control any living thing he touches, whether healing, adding size, increasing strength, in fact changing biology in just about any way conceivable, and in terms of lesser species such as bacteria and plants has the same power over anything in line of sight (note: to a DLA viruses count as living things, so I'd be able to cure people of COVID or any other disease by mere touch), and for a given species of plant that control would go beyond line of sight so long as plants of that species were growing within 19.74 meters of a plant already affected (bonus challenge: figure out how I got that number), so in my conservation work I could concentrate on a specific invasive species and kill them all, or transform them into a variety of native species instead (I'd turn the tens of thousands of scotch broom plants out where I do my conservation work into plants of my five favorite berries). A DLA can also detect metals by concentrating, including rich ores (I'd be a living, walking metal detector) plus discern what nutrients a patch of soil is lacking.
I'd end up spending the next thirty years just figuring out things I could do that I haven't thought of!

 

[Kulindahr]

Wouldn't it be simpler to just put a black mamba in her glove compartment?

I prefer my pranks to be reversible.

 

[belamyi]

Yes, that's what I meant.

Coincidentally, it's also what I said.

Meaning you are not a zombie yet

... or maybe that's a sign of the opposite?

 

[belamyi]

Since we're going for utterly crazy, my wish would be that I would wake up Christmas morning as a Druid Lord Adept (DLA) from my old fantasy role-playing game. A DLA has the ability to totally control any living thing he touches, whether healing, adding size, increasing strength, in fact changing biology in just about any way conceivable, and in terms of lesser species such as bacteria and plants has the same power over anything in line of sight (note: to a DLA viruses count as living things, so I'd be able to cure people of COVID or any other disease by mere touch), and for a given species of plant that control would go beyond line of sight so long as plants of that species were growing within 19.74 meters of a plant already affected (bonus challenge: figure out how I got that number), so in my conservation work I could concentrate on a specific invasive species and kill them all, or transform them into a variety of native species instead (I'd turn the tens of thousands of scotch broom plants out where I do my conservation work into plants of my five favorite berries). A DLA can also detect metals by concentrating, including rich ores (I'd be a living, walking metal detector) plus discern what nutrients a patch of soil is lacking.
I'd end up spending the next thirty years just figuring out things I could do that I haven't thought of!

Oh, you didn't mean cosplay.

 

[Alistair]

You mean than usual.

No. He meant more of the usual, hence the word more.

 

[belamyi]

No. He meant more of the usual, hence the word more.

That is not what he said.

Yes, that's what I meant.

Coincidentally, it's also what I said.

You mean he meant "still see...".

 

[fabulouslyghetto]

No. He meant more of the usual, hence the word more.

*hangs a mistletoe over your meat*