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Is wrong for parents to assume their child is heterosexual?

bulge said:
Boys must be raised in the awareness 2 men are better sexual matches (same tempo, same understanding, total knowledge of each others body, instant tuning in,...) than different sex.
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Good luck in that fight...Lmao!
 
soreknees said:
I have made a practice of adding the gay possibility when I hear someone say, "he is going to break a lot of girls' hearts some day." I add, "or boys.'"
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yeah. cause parents love when gay guys do that.
 
fetaby said:
Some will, some won't. But, it does cut straight to the chase.
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i can only hope that these parents are taking every opportunity to tell the poster that his gayness is "just a phase" and that if he "let's god into his life he'll be saved'.
 
clarinetboy said:
im still trying to come out with my family. my father has ask if i am gay and i told him no. but i think that my family knows but doesnt want to accept it for being true.
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Oh, I just think you should tell him and get it over with. He probably knows you prefer knitting to karate.:=D:
 
reghapguy said:
I'm not sure assuming a child is heterosexual is the same as pressuring a child to be heterosexual.

I agree that parents should encourage children to be the whoever they are, and be the best at whoever they are. But its a game of odds. 90% or so of the universe resides somewhere on the straight or mostly straight side of the scale. Assuming your kid is straight until there's a reason not to assume s/he is straight seems like the vegas thing to do.
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Not true. How many gay people were raised up "pressured" to be straight and turned out straight? None, because they're gay. It'll come out eventually.


I don't think its wrong at all to say they'll be straight from the get go, because it's the majority. One someone says "my kid will turn out to be really smart," you don't go stating "or autistic" because it's a small possibilty.
 
Swellegant said:
I wouldn't say it was wrong for people to assume... it is, however, stupid.
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I was going to say the same thing but use misguided instead of stupid (just because I'm being charitable). If you include the large number of closeted bisexual people, (from what we can assume judging from JUB profiles), there is a large enough percentage of children who are not straight and need to be considered a factor by parents.




.
 
Considering a sizable minority of them won't be, it's definitely wrong to assume it. The best thing my parents ever did was to decidedly not assume their children were straight. It made life for both their straight and their gay son much easier.
 
whisperer said:
Parents make all kind of assumptions about their kids before they're born (they're gonna be smart, good looking, successful, a good person, etc).

I wouldn't really say that any of them are 'wrong'
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Don't you realize what you're saying here, though? The connotations? People ASSUME they're kids are going to be: insert good things here, "straight" being one of them. What does that make "gay" or "bi" then? Lesser, undesirable, somehow bad. The very fact that they don't even give the idea that their kids might be queer, and don't foster an environment where a (potentially queer) kid grows up knowing that it's OKAY to be gay, is in and of itself homophobic, heterosexist and pervasively oppressive.
 
saymyname said:
Don't you realize what you're saying here, though? The connotations? People ASSUME they're kids are going to be: insert good things here, "straight" being one of them. What does that make "gay" or "bi" then? Lesser, undesirable, somehow bad. The very fact that they don't even give the idea that their kids might be queer, and don't foster an environment where a (potentially queer) kid grows up knowing that it's OKAY to be gay, is in and of itself homophobic, heterosexist and pervasively oppressive.
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or can say in ( love) or fall in love with other people what a happen be same sex
 
boxerdudeuk said:
his comment to the parents was incredibly rude. i would only hope they returned the favour.
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How is his comment rude? By saying his comment is rude, you're suggesting that being gay is wrong, a defect. For example:

Intelligent Dumb
Accomplished Unsuccessful
Athletic Lazy
Popular Loner
Straight ?

By saying, "Or gay." isn't positive or negative. It just is. Just like saying, "Or short. Or an artist. Or a brun/brunette."

To the OT, heterosexuality is the majority, so it's natural to assume your son's going to be eating the catnip. I'd assume it myself if I had kids. Still, they should raise him/her with an open mind. They should teach them that there'd be nothing wrong if they were gay. If they come out gay, they'll have a much easier home life. If they come out straight, then they'll have a kid who's open-minded and not afraid/disgusted by gays. It's a win-win situation.
 
I'd raise my child and not assume anything. I'd tell them it's perfectly normal and natural to find a girl or a guy (or both) attractive.


Toy-Boy said:
"He's gonna be a heartbreaker one day."
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My mother and oldest sister both used to say this about me all the time.







Guess they don't realize how true those words turned out to be. ;)
 
I think that the majority of children are straight. And unless the child comes out of the womb doing drag and singing show tunes, it is prefectly alright to assume that the child is going to be straight. I think the majority of parents want things to come easily to their kids. How many of us can say that coming out was easy. Do you think that parents should wish the hell we go through every day on their kids?
 
cm98059 said:
I think that the majority of children are straight. And unless the child comes out of the womb doing drag and singing show tunes, it is prefectly alright to assume that the child is going to be straight. I think the majority of parents want things to come easily to their kids. How many of us can say that coming out was easy. Do you think that parents should wish the hell we go through every day on their kids?
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I don't think the majority of children is str8. Being str8 is the result of due training in 50% of cases.
 
this thread is so depressing. did anyone even read my post? and yet there are still gay people here that will raise children and "assume" they're straight? do you like it when people assume you're straight? personally i hated it, and i hated it when i was fucking 12, too.
 
^ Assuming someone is straight doesn't necessarily mean not fostering a positive environment if it appears the assumption is wrong.
 
bounder said:
^ Assuming someone is straight doesn't necessarily mean not fostering a positive environment if it appears the assumption is wrong.
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Read my fucking post. It's about the insinuation and the connotations involved underneath the assumption.
 
saymyname said:
this thread is so depressing. did anyone even read my post? and yet there are still gay people here that will raise children and "assume" they're straight? do you like it when people assume you're straight? personally i hated it, and i hated it when i was fucking 12, too.
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I'm not offended by it. I cannot control peoples perception/assumption of me. Women assume I'm straight all the time..I'm not going to spaz out like a bitch.
"Oh how dare you! how dare you! I am not straight! I! am a gay male and I like penis not icky vagina"

If I have a child I'm not going to assume he or she will be gay based on the odds. I will raise my child according to the values I was raised with and introduce them to the things I like. Such as sports, cartoons, technology, books, etc. If it is true that being gay is genetic then it wouldn't matter what I do when it comes to there sexual preference.
I'm not going to make being straight a negative..I'm not going to bitch about people saying to a infant "he's going to be a lady killer" or "Better get your shot gun, the boys are going to be all over her" because truth is a handsome man or woman will be hit on by the opposite sex.
 
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