What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye!
A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye!
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What do you get when you cross a rooster with peanut butter?
A cock that will stick to the roof of your mouth.
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A cock that will stick to the roof of your mouth.
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miatajeff
jubber
Q. What's in the air in Colorado that keeps the Evangelical wives from getting pregnant?
A. Their husband's legs.
With a shout out to James1200: http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=131866
A. Their husband's legs.
With a shout out to James1200: http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=131866
Aussieguy01
Something Kinda Oooh
- Joined
- Apr 18, 2006
- Posts
- 1,005
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 0
Fours nuns are called into the head preists office as they were thought to be sexually active , anyway the priest tells them the wash the body part with holy water that came into contact with thier sexual activites. So the first nun puts her hand in the holy water and washes her hands and admits she has given hand jobs , the second nun walks up and washes her eyes , revealing that she saw the first nun give a hand job , suddenly the 4th nun jumps forward and rinses her mouth out , the priest angry for not waiting her turn asks for an explanation , and the fourth nun says " im not washing my mouth out after that bitch ( the third nun )cleans her asshole
MassRuss
JUB 10k Club
How do Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They leave the plunger in the toilet bowl.
From a few years ago!!
Why is Gracie Allen in the hospital?
She has Burns between her legs....
Did you hear they cancelled Easter?
They found the body.
Why wasn't Christ born in Italy?
They couldn't find 3 wise men, or a virgin.
How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?
With a crowbar.....
Smallest books in the world:
Who's Who in Puerto Rico
Jewish Lovers
Italian War Heros
Polish Intellectuals
What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar?
A flame thrower......
A nun comes into the Mother Superior's office:
"Mother, what are we going to do about the Abortion Bill?" she says.
"Pay it" says the Mother Superior...
Definition of a Greek Salad:
When you toss it, it lands on it's stomach.....
They leave the plunger in the toilet bowl.
From a few years ago!!
Why is Gracie Allen in the hospital?
She has Burns between her legs....
Did you hear they cancelled Easter?
They found the body.
Why wasn't Christ born in Italy?
They couldn't find 3 wise men, or a virgin.
How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?
With a crowbar.....
Smallest books in the world:
Who's Who in Puerto Rico
Jewish Lovers
Italian War Heros
Polish Intellectuals
What do you call a bouncer at a gay bar?
A flame thrower......
A nun comes into the Mother Superior's office:
"Mother, what are we going to do about the Abortion Bill?" she says.
"Pay it" says the Mother Superior...
Definition of a Greek Salad:
When you toss it, it lands on it's stomach.....
bimmrboy
Kitten Killin' Master
A mother took her five-year-old son with her
to the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a
business suit complete with pager.
As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly,
"Gee, she's fat!"
The mother bent down and whispered in
the little boys ear to be quiet.
A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread
his hands as far as they would go and announced;
"I'll bet her butt is this wide!"
The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy.
The mother gave him a good telling off,
and told him to be quiet.
After a brief lull,
the large woman reached the front of the line.
Just then, her pager begin to emit a
beep, beep,beep.
The little boy yells out,
"Run for your life, she's backing up!!
to the bank on a busy lunchtime.
They got behind a very fat woman wearing a
business suit complete with pager.
As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly,
"Gee, she's fat!"
The mother bent down and whispered in
the little boys ear to be quiet.
A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread
his hands as far as they would go and announced;
"I'll bet her butt is this wide!"
The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy.
The mother gave him a good telling off,
and told him to be quiet.
After a brief lull,
the large woman reached the front of the line.
Just then, her pager begin to emit a
beep, beep,beep.
The little boy yells out,
"Run for your life, she's backing up!!
MassRuss
JUB 10k Club
New Vibrator Company: Toys for Twats...
Queer midget - low blow
Jewish queer - he blew
Irish queer - gay lick
Spanish queer - Senore eata
Did you hear about the queer nail? It lays in the road waiting to blow a tire!
These all merit at least 10 moans........
New smallest book in the world: Republican Ethics & Truth Telling in Government....
Queer midget - low blow
Jewish queer - he blew
Irish queer - gay lick
Spanish queer - Senore eata
Did you hear about the queer nail? It lays in the road waiting to blow a tire!
These all merit at least 10 moans........
New smallest book in the world: Republican Ethics & Truth Telling in Government....
MTLDude
The Hairy Dude
One morning, a sixth grader named Tommy D. wrote on the blackboard: Of all the boys in this class, Tommy D. has the biggest dick.
When his teacher, Ms. Holbrook saw this, she yelled: Tommy D., I want to see you after class.
The next morning Tommy D. wrote on the blackboard: Trust me, publicity pays big time!
When his teacher, Ms. Holbrook saw this, she yelled: Tommy D., I want to see you after class.
The next morning Tommy D. wrote on the blackboard: Trust me, publicity pays big time!
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2005
- Posts
- 22,238
- Reaction score
- 120
- Points
- 63
Pat Robertson, Louis Farrakhan, Mariah Carey, Fidel Castro, Brad Pitt, and Nancy Pelosi were on vacation together, and riding across East St. Louis in a rented car, when it stalled on the railroad tracks. Immediately the gates came down and they realized they were stuck. Pat, Louis and Nancy managed to escape, but Mariah, Fidel and Brad weren't so lucky - the train smashed into the car before they could escape. Oh...what a gooey mess!!!
The three newest roadkill found themselves suddenly standing at Heaven's gate, with St. Peter standing guard, which of course he always does 24/7 except when his cell phone rings and he has to wield his ax and his trombone to fix a Halo Discombobulation (which can happen without any kind of advance warning, and which threatens the universal equilibrium of Heaven). These roadkill victims were relieved they didn't have to wait around for St. Peter and occupy themselves by playing charades or Twister or something.
It would boggle the mind trying to imagine Mariah Carey, Fidel Castro, and Brad Pitt trying to play Twister, but I digress.
St. Peter told the three that, if they wanted to enter Heaven, each one had to answer a simple question, and they'd get let in.
To decide which one would get the first question, St. Peter would flip a three-sided coin. Each of the three had a chance to call Heads, Tails, or Plëvvib€xoltty. St. Peter flipped the coin and it came up Plëvvib€xoltty, which had been called by Fidel, so he got the first question.
ST. PETER: What is the name of the day, which occurs on the same date every year, which celebrates the birth of Jesus?
FIDEL CASTRO: Navi..., er, Christmas. (He started to answer in his native Spanish, but quickly remembered that he was talking to St. Peter rather than San Pedro, and therefore maybe he should answer in English.)
Immediately the trumpets blared, the fireworks went off, the light show began, the gates opened, and Fidel walked in.
Brad Pitt happened to be closest at that point, so he got the next question.
ST. PETER: What is the title of the person who preaches in front of a Catholic congregation?
BRAD PITT: A PRIEST, of co...
(before he could even finish, the trumpets blared, the fireworks and light show went off, the gates swung open, and Brad walked into Heaven.)
Mariah Carey remained though, by the time her question came up, 22 more people were in the queue behind her.
ST. PETER: Mariah, what was the first thing that Eve ever said to Adam when she saw him naked?
MARIAH: Uh, let me think...still thinking...um, that's a HARD ONE...
Immediately the trumpets blared, the fireworks and light show went off, the gates opened...
The three newest roadkill found themselves suddenly standing at Heaven's gate, with St. Peter standing guard, which of course he always does 24/7 except when his cell phone rings and he has to wield his ax and his trombone to fix a Halo Discombobulation (which can happen without any kind of advance warning, and which threatens the universal equilibrium of Heaven). These roadkill victims were relieved they didn't have to wait around for St. Peter and occupy themselves by playing charades or Twister or something.
It would boggle the mind trying to imagine Mariah Carey, Fidel Castro, and Brad Pitt trying to play Twister, but I digress.
St. Peter told the three that, if they wanted to enter Heaven, each one had to answer a simple question, and they'd get let in.
To decide which one would get the first question, St. Peter would flip a three-sided coin. Each of the three had a chance to call Heads, Tails, or Plëvvib€xoltty. St. Peter flipped the coin and it came up Plëvvib€xoltty, which had been called by Fidel, so he got the first question.
ST. PETER: What is the name of the day, which occurs on the same date every year, which celebrates the birth of Jesus?
FIDEL CASTRO: Navi..., er, Christmas. (He started to answer in his native Spanish, but quickly remembered that he was talking to St. Peter rather than San Pedro, and therefore maybe he should answer in English.)
Immediately the trumpets blared, the fireworks went off, the light show began, the gates opened, and Fidel walked in.
Brad Pitt happened to be closest at that point, so he got the next question.
ST. PETER: What is the title of the person who preaches in front of a Catholic congregation?
BRAD PITT: A PRIEST, of co...
(before he could even finish, the trumpets blared, the fireworks and light show went off, the gates swung open, and Brad walked into Heaven.)
Mariah Carey remained though, by the time her question came up, 22 more people were in the queue behind her.
ST. PETER: Mariah, what was the first thing that Eve ever said to Adam when she saw him naked?
MARIAH: Uh, let me think...still thinking...um, that's a HARD ONE...
Immediately the trumpets blared, the fireworks and light show went off, the gates opened...
- Joined
- Dec 25, 2005
- Posts
- 22,238
- Reaction score
- 120
- Points
- 63
How do you make Holy Water?
You pour it into the pot, turn the stove on HIGH heat, and you boil the hell out of it.
You pour it into the pot, turn the stove on HIGH heat, and you boil the hell out of it.
